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6 - 12 months sober: what challenges/changes did you notice?



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6 - 12 months sober: what challenges/changes did you notice?

Old 08-29-2013, 12:43 PM
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6 - 12 months sober: what challenges/changes did you notice?

Hi all -

I'm 6+ months sober, in no small part to all the support and knowledge here on SR. I had an idea of what laid ahead of me from 0 - 6 months from all the posts in newcomers (PAWS, etc) - and it was very helpful.

I'm finding less info on 6 -12 months. Curious what challenges/changes you encountered during this period.

Any surprises? What's been your experience?
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:54 PM
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Congrats on 6 months.

Months 6 -12? For me, how I was coming out of my 180 days PAWS experience was how the next six months went. Meaning, I felt great but I was still encountering challenges to my sobriety, new situations that I had to learn to deal with without drinking. For instance, I had a wedding to go to at 9 months sober and I had to be careful.

The biggest plus was the daily thinking about drinking/not drinking went away. I was able to go about my daily life sober and it not be a daily effort.

But for me, the biggest change wasn't from month 6 to 12, it was from one year to two.
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Old 08-29-2013, 01:29 PM
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Good stuff I also would like to know this. Thanks
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Old 08-29-2013, 04:39 PM
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I have 9 months. Even though I have had time before; this season of recovery is different. Because I am different. I'm changing a lot. What was once acceptable is no longer. I have less patience with people and things that mess with my sobriety. I'm not as much of an emotional milkshake as I was before; I still get upset but it doesn't last as long. I spend more time at home and I'm ok with that. I spend more time reading and quietly reflecting; I've learned to be alone with myself. The cravings aren't as frequent at all. I'm developing more habits related to being sober; I've broken a lot of the old habits (i.e. 5'oclock and going to the bar; now I don't think about it).

I did notice I have been pretty busy now that I'm back at school teaching again and wicked tired so haven't been on SR as much...that isn't good. I don't want to get complacent.

Great thinking; thank you for posting!!
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Old 08-29-2013, 06:39 PM
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This is when my PAWS started to show up. Very different!!!
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Old 08-29-2013, 07:04 PM
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My main issue was anger during those months. Angry because I felt my plight had been forgotten. I was out of "immediate danger", and a lot of my close friends took this to mean I was "fixed". But worse yet, were the pressures I was putting on myself. You see, I was wondering why I was still feeling broken and having hard times. I was wondering why I was still struggling. I thought I'd have this thing licked by now. I thought I'd have found a new job, had a girlfriend, and have risen from the ashes.

But I was still struggling. And I was pushing myself. I was waiting for "my reward" (I still do once in a while) and wondering why I wasn't a huge success by now. And I could not figure out for the life of me what to do about it!

So I got angry. Real angry. And then I slipped. I didn't take a drink, no no. I sought solace by taking a puff of marijuana. Like the addict I am, I reasoned I could still "have some fun" once in a blue moon by dipping into that same old tired stash I'd always kept in my drawer. I'd kept it in that drawer all these months for some reason - I think I subconsiously thought of it as a safety blanket. But something clicked, and all of a sudden I was like a kid on Christmas morning when I opened up that baggie. This was going to be fun, I thought. Time for my reward. I had no concept of how dangerous this was.

You see, I was searching for relief...and, like the addict I am, I turned to drugs. No need to lie here: I continued to post on SR during that time and preached against marijuana use. I was careful never to say I was clean from it - just discouraged others from using. Ugh.

I came to my senses and have stopped that nonsense. I'm 100% drug and alcohol free now. But that dip back into smoking could have easily led me into a cross-addiction and back down a really dark hole. My reward for that little experiment was a whole mini-withdrawl and everything. Could have been way worse. The seed was planted around my 6th month, germinated and finally led to me smoking weed around my 8th-9th month. Hope that helps you. Stay vigilant.
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:41 AM
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Doggonecarl !!!...we gotta know.

What was the "Big Change" between years 1 and 2 for you.

Inquiring minds wanna know.

I don't mean to highjack the thread... ...but the "suspense" is killing me.

Dave

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Old 08-31-2013, 06:27 AM
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I wrote this in my journal after 368 consecutive days of 100% sobriety.



23rd August 2013-

3:27am

Today marks the one year anniversary of my clean and sober journal. What a remarkable year it has been. Easily the most productive fiscal year of my life.

I have traveled extensively, resting in seven different states, attended the Indy 500, read over 17 books, and exercised consistently and vigorously.

I have watched or participated as my six year old son competed in four sports, football, basketball, baseball and tennis….and swim in this spare time. His reading level was at H at the end of the kindergarden school year ( it was supposed to be at a level of E) AND he’s already on a 2nd grade math level.

Six bills that were coming into the mail at this time last year, Lowes, Pottery Barn, the truck payment, the Harley payment, the lawn care service, and the home equity line, are all gone, paid off in full. I have also detached myself from my local barbershop as I now cut my own hair.

As a direct result my margin line has come down from 17000 to 7000 ( saving me $796 a year in interest) and my equity portfolio has exploded to the upside by well over $70,000 dollars. By comparison, it took the first thirty two years of my life to amass my first $70,000 in savings.

Amazing.


I have paid off more than 4600 dollars of debt, over funded my home escrow account, reduced the interest rate on my aggregate debt from 4.6% to 3.29%, re-roofed my house, painted my bathroom-bedroom ceiling, retiled my bathroom floor, replaced my bedroom trash can, replaced my bed sheets, replaced my kitchen trash basket, have had the house professionally cleaned, twice!, maintained all of my assets, replaced well over 10% of my wardrobe AND acquired a brand new John Deere riding mower, edger, and trimmer. All of which have been paid for in full.

Pull up production has increased by 17%
Push up production has increased by 14%
Stationary bicycle production has increased by 62.5%

Yesterday I swam for more than 30 minutes and put together my very first fantasy football team.
Tuesday I bicycled 13 miles
Monday I ran 3 miles
Today – 2.5 mile walk

Amount of money spent on drugs, nicotine, and/or alcohol over the last twelve months – $0.00

Amount of drugs and alcohol consumed over the last twelve months- zero.

Word of the day- Tryst

An appointment made in secret, especially between lovers.

This quote comes once again to the front of my mind.

“You look at where you're going and where you are and it never makes much sense, but then you look back at where you've been and a pattern seems to emerge. And if you project forward from that pattern, then sometimes you can come up with something.”
― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values



My mantra remains the same.

Stay, straight, ahead…
Amen.
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Old 08-31-2013, 01:10 PM
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6 to 12 months ... hmm ...

i had a very bad memory i'm not sure if thats 40 on the horizon tho' , i still used to get cravings , the last one was about a year ago now , just before my 1 year aniversary .

Been kinda quite since then so i'm just working on dealing with life and making it as comfortable and nice as i can .

Bestwishes, m
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Old 09-01-2013, 03:10 AM
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Thanks everyone - really appreciate your thoughtful (and open) responses.

I'm hearing a marathon pattern - loosely keep going to make it through the 'wall' - with the wall being an individual thing.
Makes sense - I've heard that finishing marathons are more mental than physical 'in the second half' when you're exhausted. Metaphor clearly falls apart in that there is no 'end point' with sobriety.

AMOO - very inspirational - thanks for looking it up and sharing!

Interestingly, I've only had 1 craving for DOC since I got sober, which helped in early sobriety. However, I recently realized that my addictive nature spread out to other things (food, shopping, etc) - so I still crave all kinds of things now on a daily basis & learning to work through cravings is going to be a key skill I still need to develop.

Being ok with and working through the feeling of being uncomfortable and not having a 'reward' mentality as a way of living will be a huge shift for me, but well worth the benefits, and how I'll be able to post a note like AMOOs at one year as well!

Again, thank you - for the variety of posts - really helped me to make the connection between where I am, what I need to focus on, and where I want to go.
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Old 09-01-2013, 10:17 AM
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Hi Serene, did you read my mind? Thank you for starting this topic, I was going to ask the same question Glad to be out of panic mode, have a better grasp on how to communicate (although at times it still can feel like speaking with a thick tongue), and let go of old mechanisms that no longer serve any useful purpose, but hearing others' experiences is greatly helpful as well. Thank you again, and good work at 6+ months.
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