Scared to go to work today...
 

Yesterday, I drank in a major way at work, drinking before work and even leaving during the day to drink. I'm scared someone noticed and is going to say something to me today. Really anxious and didn't sleep well last night.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I guess I don't have any advice...are you planning on stopping drinking?

You can't change the past. Why don't you go into work, just like everyone else, and concentrate on your job. There is no need to be living in fear and sneaking around and having such anxiety in your life. Do you plan to address the alcohol problem in your life?

maybe alot of people did notice and this will be the wake up call you need.
If there has been one instance there will be more.

This just maybe your wake up call or your rock bottom. I say go in to work and face the music. If someone noticed that I am sure your supervisor will talk with you about it and hopefully something can be worked out with your employer. If no one noticed than I suggest you try to get sober so that this doesn't happen again. What is your plan? I hope things work out for you.

Take Care...

Hi Reno-
I went through this a few times. No one ever said anything at my job but, it is such a scary feeling. Once I hardly remembered being at work due to a combo of hangover, hair of the dog and benzos. Then I left due to "being sick" and by the next morning... oh the panic. GL. Maybe this is a wake up call. It was for me.

Jess

If you're drinking at work, it's time to get serious about getting some help. This is no way to live! In fear of what you did/said/acted like etc... if you got away with it this time, believe me, it will reinforce your future decisions about drinking at work, or other completely inappropriate places. As much as you tell yourself "Never again!" or bargain with God..."If you just help me this once God, I'll NEVER do it again", the time will come when you are sitting in the same spot that you are sitting in today, and next time you might not be so lucky.

Maybe it's time to think about giving it all up. The hangovers, embarrassment, shame, withdrawals, missed work, blackouts, not to mention the harm you are causing to your mind and body by drinking alcoholically. I know, it's a lot to give up, but there is a whole new wonderful world waiting for you.

One day at a time.

Hi Reno. I did that many times - I'm sure my co-workers noticed, but no one said anything. Then one night my boss stopped me from getting in my car & called my husband to pick me up. I was mortified. It was the beginning of the end - I knew I was out of control and eventually I stopped all together. I couldn't trust myself once it was in my system.

Glad you came here to talk about it - I hope you'll let us know what happens.

I'm sure they noticed. If they don't talk to you about it they are talking about you to each other. I've seen it before at my work and the boss had him drug tested. He tested positive for alcohol. They gave him 3 days off without pay and then gave him a second chance. He was drug tested frequently after that but was always clean. I think it was his wake up call.

I had this happen to me. Got called into the boss' office. I had had a couple before work, as I did sometimes butt not really frequently. I was sent for a test and blew a .001. They didn't do anything but randomly test me over the next few months and I blew a zero each time. Still didn't wake me up, though.

The OP didn't ask for help getting sober. But that's what's available here, even for those who are determined to continue their suffering in all ways and at all costs.

A loud second to this. I too remember, the fear, the anxiety, the shame, guilt and embarrassment of having to cover my tracks over my drinking and the behaviour that resulted. Over and over and over.

But brother, believe it or not, you don't have to live like that anymore. Life is possible sober, and it's so much more fulfilling and enjoyable than drinking. Your disease will try to tell that's not true. Had me convinced for a long time.

Being able to walk down the street, meet new people, and not be scared or worried about people finding out I'm a drunk who has a problem, not pretending to be someone else is.... awesome.

Be well.

How did you get on Reno? Hope all's well x

Well, that day was okay...but people are right, I continue to drink, and wonder if people notice, and now I have to think about it all weekend.

This is no way to live, but sobriety is so hard. I know I had no contact with any 'bosses' today, but only coworkers in a minimal way, so who knows. But it's all I'm thinking about.

i really think if you gave it a go, you'd find it's not as hard as trying to keep all the balls in the air like you are now RenoDis.

and...it gets worse...one day someone will notice. One day you may lose your job, or lose a relationship, or have an accident in your car, or develop a health problem due to your drinking....

Getting sober is scary...but the smart money is on doing something about it now rather than later.

D

Can you afford to lose this job?

I can relate to this scenario. Once I was getting report from the off-going nurse and learning about my patients for the day. I think one of the patients was detoxing from alcohol and she proceeded to tell me about a nurse that used to work there, who "was a great nurse" but that always had alcohol on her breath. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there chomping on about 3 pieces of cinnamon gum and swigging black coffee to hopefully cover up the rum I drank the night before. Hmmmm. No one ever said anything to be directly, though I'm sure it's been noticed by others. Try not to dwell on what other people are thinking, noticing, etc, and think about how this is effecting you instead. This is my second time around with sobriety and it's only been two weeks, however, it's much easier to start the day without stressing about being hungover or attempting to cover up booze breath while also stressing about whether or not other people are noticing. Alcohol for me just causes one stressor after another. It's definitely a domino effect and never stops, unless I stop the factor that causes it all to begin with...alcohol.

I did it, some people probably noticed, some people at times even joined in. I didn't care because I was an animal at work plowing through tons of stuff and doing it well. I would just put my head down and work through loads of stuff buzzed. I never once got called out for it and I consider myself lucky because I'm sure some people knew. I like to think it was overlooked because of how effective I was but the reality it is most bosses are ignorant LOL. They were too busy wallowing in their own misery to notice me. They would just notice the good quality huge load of work I was doing. Compliment it and move on.

Just super lucky I never got burned and glad I don't have to deal with it anymore.

Reno, you'll never have to feel this way again if you really truly give sobriety a shot. You'll be surprised how well you can do if you just put in the effort those first couple of weeks,

we've got your back, come often to vent. We're listening

Hi Reno, blackoutgirl is right. Try not to focus on what others are thinking, but rather how this is affecting you. One of the biggest reliefs to me was not having that burden of wondering 'what if' each day I was at work and drank too much too late the night before...

Now, if I'm running late, or something goes wrong in my day, I don't have that panicked feeling / paranoia that somebody knows I have a drinking problem.

It starts to make life so much easier when you begin to live honestly. And it starts with the first step of being honest with yourself. Things will get worse, I guarantee it. Freaking yourself out each day is no way to live.

Im beginning to see that...I mean, I'm not enjoying my weekend, worrying about Tuesday, am I?

And I guess I can't worry about the embarrassment or shame if I do get called out...I just have to focus on doing the right thing each day, and that starts with not drinking during the work day, or at all.