michaelking

Hi. My name is Michael and I'm new to this forum. I've been drinking on and off since I was 17 years old. I'm now 27. For the last two months, I've been binge drinking for 3 nights in a row, then allowing myself to have 5 days off from drinking. The last time I drank was 3 nights ago, and ever since then, I've been having trouble focusing on what people are saying while watching television. I can hear what they are saying and follow the conversations, but..it doesn't really seem to click in my mind, if that makes any sense at all. Also, I'm having trouble reading things. I'll have to read things over and over again before it makes sense. I've been taking a vitamin b complex supplement for 3 months, and I usually eat 3 times a day. I also try to exercise whenever I can. My anxiety levels are high and I'm experiencing intermittent depression. All of these symptoms are worse at night. Have I permanently damaged my brain, or is this common with alcohol withdrawal? I've experienced this before, and it usually goes away after awhile, but it still scares me. Another symptom that is bothering me, is that I don't feel like I'm fully here, like I'm disassociated with my mind and body. Everything is too loud and too bright. Has anyone else experienced these symptoms before? I'd also like to add that when I do watch television, the screenplay sort of looks off, like it's fabricated. Could I be overreacting?

EndGameNYC

Hi Michael.

What you're describing sounds like derealization, a symptom common in panic attacks, or depersonalization, a psychiatric syndrome considered to be a disorder characterized by a number of symptoms, and often described as only one or two symptoms of a larger disorder.

Your case seems to be more related to the occurrence of derealization in panic attacks. During an attack, people often report that things do not quite seem real, or that they're in a dream-like state while awake. Though you haven't reported having panic attacks, derealization can occur as the result of alcohol withdrawal. And though it can be extremely frightening, derealization is not by itself life-threatening, unless it pushes you to suicidal thoughts or prompts you to otherwise break the laws of physics while in this altered state.

All in all, the sum total of your symptoms seems to represent regular withdrawal following regular binging.

zjw

EndgameNYC I'm going to research what you just wrote its interesting since in my early days of being sober for a while I felt things where not real. I felt like i was in a dream like state. I could go for a walk and feel that i was some how detatched from everything around me. Nothing really felt real. was rather strange but oddly peaceful and relaxing to me in contrast to the horrible panic attacks i had while drinking.

zjw

just looked this up on wikipedia wow totaly have this one down. Tho more often then not I enjoy it tho I have had it lead to panic too.

michaelking

I experience this anytime I withdrawal from alcohol. I believe that it's some sort of defense mechanism that comes into play during withdrawal or times of great stress. For some, it's comforting, for others (like me), it's uncomfortable and sometimes frightening.

sues

I to have experienced this anxiety. It has to be directly related to the sugar in alcohol and spikes the nerves as it is leaving the body. It sucks because you can't get away from it until all the alcohol is gone.

pinkdog

Hi michael, welcome. Yes it sounds like withdrawals to me. I was a bingedrinker. I did not know that not drinking was a problem for me. I thought I could take it or leave it. When I went 7 days instead of 3, I began hyperventilating. When your body gets used to alcohol on a regular schedule, it will rebel. I'm glad you came to this site. You can get a lot of good information here. Sobriety is so much better for me. Best wishes to you.

EndGameNYC

Yes. Derealization is a cardinal symptom of dissociative disorders (such as what's popularly referred to as multiple-personality disorder) which develop in the service of protecting us from the psychological effects of abuse or other trauma.

Derealization is the mind's way of protecting us against increasing anxiety, unmanageable stress or other emotional trauma. This particular sleight of mind tells me that if what I'm experiencing is not "really" happening, then it is also not really happening to me. Derealization is a first-cousin of denial.

Dee74

welcome Michael

I experienced all that and more - have you got a Dr you can talk to?

D

artsoul

Welcome Michael!

I experienced some of the things you described, too. Alcohol can definitely cause brain damage (it actually affects all the organs of the body), but if caught early, a lot of the damage can also be reversed. I noticed, after a few months of sobriety, my thinking got a lot clearer.

I also found that my depression and anxiety were both linked to my drinking, too.

Glad you're here!

Hevyn

Hi Michael. I'm happy you're reaching out for some support. You found a great place.

I definitely had similar symptoms when I first quit. I spent a few weeks feeling like an alien. It takes time to heal from all the abuse. Speaking for myself only - everything settled down and I began to reawaken. As already stated, seeing your doc is the best way to go if possible.

longbeachone

My mom was a. "functional" alcoholic. Due almost entirely to her drinking, she had several "TMI's", small strokes that don't have many outward signs, but can wreak havoc on the brain. She is now 77, and this once amazing woman who graduated from UCLA at 18, raised two daughters alone after being abandoned by my father, started and ran one of the most successful fund-raising companies in LA and was loved by so many now has no short term memory whatsoever, and very little long term. She does not remember her grandchildren. She must be told every day, often many times, that her parents have both been dead for many years (and every time, it breaks her heart and she cries, inconsolable). She often asks "When is my Mom coming to pick me up?" or "Do I have to go to school tomorrow?". To say that I am heartbroken doesn't come close to describing my sorrow. I hate what alcohol did to her, and yes, I know that she has fault as well for drinking it. But I still hate it.