Sanantoniosober

I quit drinking 2/22/13, and have been doing alright these past 4 months, but all this week it feels like I just started over.

Having trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, and extreme anxiety all over again.

I feel tired all day, but can't sleep at night. I know I'm hungry, but can't get any food down.

Is this normal?

EndGameNYC

Hi SAS.

Sounds like symptoms of depression. Could be part of PAWS.

Sanantoniosober

Thanks for the reply. I've been reading up on paws, guess I was hoping that after 6 months I would be doing better than this.

I know it's going to take a while to get better, it just sucks when things are going so well for a few months, and then start to feel like this again.

EndGameNYC

Yeah, it does. Maybe just a bump in the road.

DG0409

PAWS symptoms can come and go. Stress, hunger, or being tired can trigger them. The best thing that I've found is to focus on eating healthy, getting exercise, and trying to get regular sleep.

Threshold

My personal experience.

When I was counting time...whenever I'd hit a "milestone" I'd get anxiety, urges, sleeplessness etc. Psychological I am sure...like "holy heck, what am I doing? will I make it, can I make it? do I really want to do this? people are starting to trust me...what if I fail? Do I want to commit to this for the REST OF MY LIFE!!!???"

I stopped counting and I have not had that happen again.

Sanantoniosober

Thanks dg. I've been trying to get more sleep and eat right, but sometimes that's easier said than done.

Thresh, I try not to count the time I've had, and only really do if I start to feel like this. I start feeling bad and immediately think, "but I haven't had a drink in x days/weeks/months, why am I feeling like this again?"

Thanks for the advice/stories everyone, it really helps me.

Andante

You may want to check with your doctor to rule out any new process unrelated to your drinking history.

If it's just PAWS, I can relate to your frustration. Oh, how I hate that feeling like it's Day 1 all over again and things are getting worse instead of better!

It seems like PAWS can have its ups and downs like a lot of neurological disorders. Sometimes the down periods seem like they'll never go away. However, the general overall trend is for things to gradually get better and better. If you can ride out the current low period, you can pretty much rest assured that it WILL go away and that eventually you'll feel better.

When I have a bad period, I try to accept that "it is what it is" and be patient. I also try to keep moving forward in my recovery without beating my head against the wall about the limitations imposed by my debility.

I've learned from my own bitter experience that the one thing I absolutely cannot do is to say "F*ck it" and take a drink out of getting so frustrated with feeling so awful that I'll do anything for a moment's relief, even though I know it will only make things worse in the long term.

Sanantoniosober

I'm definitely not going to have a drink. I know enough that I'm still better than when I started physically. I'm not hunched over a toilet dry heaving and I'm grateful for that.

Doctor said it may be the flu, and that it probably wasn't due to drinking, but I'm always skeptical of doctors. Seems they only want to say that if you quit drinking you'll be fine right away.

It's been so long since I've been sick and wasn't also drinking, that I may be over analyzing things (I hope!)

alphaomega

Right there with you. Thanks for this post - it gives me solace and hope.

Blessings.

andbreatheme6

Wow first post here even though I've definitely been lurking for quite some time! lol
So my experience is that I had 8 months of sobriety and had that same exact feeling. I would be feeling great, everything would be clear, I'd feel healthy. And then bam! I'd be depressed, feel terrible about everything, and myself.
I think what you're feeling is completely normal. I have a little over 5 months of sobriety and recovery right now and I just am starting to feel some solid happiness. My opinion is that it definitely is paws and it comes and goes, especially for the first year. I find that avoiding caffeine, cigarettes, eating healthy, exercising, and getting plenty of sleep, and stepwork help a lot. Just hang in there and soon enough paws will be a thing of the past

Sanantoniosober

Thanks guys. Nice to see others are where I am, along with the old timers.

Not nice that you are dealing with this too, but nice to see that I am not the only one. The stories from people with years are great, but sometimes you want to hear if someone else is going through what you are.

Really appreciate the encouragement.

Ptcapote

Yep, this is happening to me right now too and I just hit six months last week. For the past two weeks I have been dragging a$$ in the most awful way. I don't feel sick, per se, but I just feel lethargic and basically uninterested in many things. My sleep patterns are all screwed up as well. Trying to concentrate at work is a b!tch too but that's probably because I am not sleeping well.

I don't feel depressed, just kind of apathetic and zoned out, but I think mine is probably PAWS-related. No cravings (actually it rarely crosses my mind these days unless it is directly in front of me in some way or another) but just feel blah.

Considering how many years I destroyed my body with alcohol, tho', I'm betting it's still healing and this will take time. I am willing to give it that time...anything beats feeling like I did when I was drinking.

Also, I have upped my B-12 intake recently and that has definitely made a bit of a difference. Don't know if it'll work for anyone else but thought I would put it out there.

Thanks for posting about this San Antonio!!

zjw

I got over 2 years and I still go through the same issues now and then. I sometimes go back to doing things I did in my early sober days in order to cope etc.. it helps me get through.

It can be a bit debiliating at times but it is what it is and I'm greatful I'm sober. As being drunk was IONS more debilitating.

So yeah I have my ups and my downs and my ho hum moments but it could be worse. Just gotta try and enjoy what you can. For example I spent my morning rather angry went for a run saw 2 deer that made it a bit better now I'm just trying to relax and not be so angry. it may seem mundane but hey whatever works