Brian316

I've heard this term used a lot and I always thought the medical definition basically was someone who drank heavy and quit but whose brain was still messed up by alcohol, like still had speech impairments, wasn't thinking clearly etc. I heard the term used a lot here and in AA I was wondering if you folks would give your definition.

Dee74

a regular topic of threads hereabouts:

here's a taster:


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...dry-drunk.html



D

Johno1967

My thought is that a "dry drunk" is an alcoholic who may not drink but has all the hall marks and defects of an alcoholic such as anger, resentment, paranoia, stinking thinking etc. In other words, abstinent but not emotionally sober.
Getting sober ain't just about "swearing off" the booze. I was a terrible dry drunk for a long time and always went back to the drink to feel better.
Google "emotional sobriety".

Brian316

Thank you both for the info, I think I have a bit better understanding of it now.

nomis

As Dee said, always a topic that generates a lot of debate and, ultimately, the nature of recovery itself.

I don't think I've chimed in on this before, so here's my two cents: alcoholism is often a symptom of larger problems in the brain, usually stress and trauma. We drink to deal with those issues, but as we all know here, that doesn't make them go away. Instead it masks them for a few hours.

So, if you stop drinking, great. All the problems that ALCOHOL created in your life will go away, but the stress and trauma are still there. Until those underlying conditions are treated and dealt with, then yes, the term Dry Drunk does come to mind.

Boleo

That is "wet-brain" you just described. It has nothing to with dry-drunk.

KyrieEleison

My understanding is that it can describe someone that exhibits alcoholic behaviors without consuming alcohol.

That's why it is said ... take away the alcohol, and you still have the "ic".

Alcohol is but a symptom of the underlying problems that we use alcohol to deal with...for some...not everyone categorically of course.

Read page 52 in your book. It describes the unmanageability of an alcoholic's life...also known as the bedevilments.

Quote

"We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people—"
We Agnostics, Alcoholics Anonymous

If when you stop drinking, you still have the same problems as when you were drinking, and just not drinking is not solving the problems and problem behaviors...it is sometimes said that you are a dry drunk...you are dry..."not drinking", but your life, and your behaviors are just as bad as they were when you were drinking/drunk.

It's usually a sign that even though one is sober, there is restlessness, irritability, discontent, unhappiness, resentment, fear, dishonesty, and selfishness, or self-centeredness still present.

A sign to others that we are in trouble, and may be in danger of needing relief in the form of alcohol shortly to ease our troubles.

It's a term some people use to describe people that appear to be in trouble in sobriety.

This is just my understanding and experience with the term. Could be right, could be wrong.

Hope this helps...

Quote from Alcoholics Anonymous First Edition

babycat

Quite honestly, I find it to be a very judgmental and unhelpful term. To be frank, I hate it and it has done little good in persuading me to AA.

TKS

Babycat, you are not alone in these rational observations of such clichéd terms. For those that this thought process works for, great, but it's not the fix-all mindset for everyone.

totfit

A non-useful and fictional label to describe human characteristics and to make judgement.

IOAA2

It was said to me that it's a non drinking person acting and reacting as if they were still drinking.

karate

Someone that refuses to address the issues , that caused the excessive drinking onthe first place .

If that makes sense.

freshstart57

It's an AA term.

KyrieEleison

I used to feel this way also, and then I realized that the people that said it were indeed recognizing that I was in danger of drinking and that they told me I was a dry drunk to help me see the truth that although not drunk, I was behaving as drunks do, which leads to drinking.

Sometimes love seems tough, but frothy emotional appeals do not always work for a person with alcoholic thinking.

I used to think it was judgement, and then I saw it was love.

It's all how you look at it.

I think as alcoholics we feel people are always judging us, we are in defense mode, and our perception is off.

We can expect the worst from others and we perceive labels are mean, when in fact dry drunk is nothing more than a drunk who is dry...

If when you are not drinking, you still exhibit alcoholic thinking and behaviors...you are still acting like an active drunk.

That's all it means.

No one is trying to attack us or put us down. They say it to alert us.

They say it because people die from this, and they recognize we are in trouble.

They understand the gravity of the situation.

Not everyone is out to hurt us and judge us, even though we think they are.

If we are upset, the feelings are in us.

Hope everyone has a happy sober day.

Mark75

It's a term that is used by some to describe the alcoholic who has quit drinking and is not happy about it, or about anything at all, really. I hear it occasionally, but usually by people in the rooms, speaking amongst their brothers and sisters in AA, and, this is important people... usually it is used as an autobiographical description of themselves before experiencing the relief the 12 steps brought them.

It is a very poorly understood term by those who are not AA... and it is a handy weapon in their war against AAs, as it is so "judgmental". OOOhhHhHhhhhooooh Boogie man... Oh please.

If everybody had an easy time just putting down the drink, and were automatically all happy and smiles in the sun... there would be no reason for this board.

Lighten up.

Brian316

Thank you all for the insights. I don't think I probably have enough AA experience to say whether I like the term or not, but it kind of drove me away from AA in the past also. Several months ago I had 30 days in and was going to a meeting pretty much every day. I didn't feel at that time though that I really knew anyone well enough to sponsor me. It's not that people weren't welcoming I am just a fairly private person and always have been. Not opposed to getting a sponsor. Anyway what I kept hearing in a lot of meetings was until you work the steps, you are just a "dry drunk" basically and that did kind of drive me away. Because I felt like otherwise I was benefitting from meetings and they were helping to keep me sober. I would share and be more conscious of my own character defects such as selfishness. But I thought like well if I am just a dry drunk what's the point? For what it's worth I am back going to meetings and giving soberiety another try.

Mark75

Only you can decide if you are a dry drunk... If you are sober and happy... Awesome!! AA can help a lot of people. Read the book, do the steps... I don't think the term is used anywhere in the literature, it is just a term that well meaning (usually) people use to emphasize the benefit of actually doing the work in the steps. Unfortunately it is misunderstood and quoted outside of AA as a reason why AA is "not for me".

babycat

Maybe you are the one who needs to lighten up.

Mirage74

I do believe it is meant to be critical. Believe it or not, people in AA are just as judgemental is everyone else. If you're going around calling others dry drunks, maybe you're the dry drunk.

bigsombrero

Defining "dry drunk" is like defining the "color blue". It's not a scientific term, it's just two words put together.