MarkNS

I don't care what anybody may say, but drinking helped get me out of a severe depression five years ago. I was convinced after that I needed to drink to somehow manage my mood. And for the most part it worked! Now, most times that I drink I end up being an emotional wreck. I seriously thought I could stabilize myself with the right amount of booze.

Of course lately I'm drunk almost every single day. I have these moments of despair when I'm drinking that were exactly what I experienced five years ago! So, what's happening here exactly? Is it because I'm drinking too much? Or is my brain somehow experiencing alcohol differently now? Is that even possible?

Dee74

Alcoholism is progressive, and as it progresses it makes permanent changes in our bodies and brain.

Most of us got started with drinking because we felt it worked....but what 'worked' for me at 25 most definitely did not work for me at 40....but I kept chasing the feeling I used to have at 25....

it's the essence of futility Mark.

D

RobbyRobot

My early years of drinking brought me new feelings and ideas which couldn't be experienced by me without drinking. I felt like a better version of me. Of course, until I didn't, and by then I was very much addicted.

Alcohol is such a poser, you know?! Promises this and that and sooner than later becomes a punishing taskmaster. Only real and true way out from under all this was for me to quit for good and begin my recovery.

Being recovered now gives me everything ever promised by my early years with alcohol, and without the consequences.

I'm not sure I know what is happening with your experiences but I do know most chronic drinkers eventually lose the joyous times with drinking and end up quitting or they otherwise suffer while they chase those broken dreams and promises.

I hope you're seeing how you were taken for a ride.

Black Bird

When I started drinking I felt I found a "cure"
Drugs and alcohol lie.
I believe when you drink for a cure, most of the time you will wind up an addict/ Alcholic.
Now that I am sober and in recovery I have found a real cure that makes me feel better than I did before alcohol came into my life.
Being Sober and honest is a cure all for me. Maybe it will be for you too. You won't know until you stop drinking. Best wishes

Leaking4ever

When I was in grade school my teachers said people took drugs cause they were evil and criminals.

When I was in junior high my teachers said people took drugs cause of peer pressure .

When I was in high-school my teachers said people took drugs to escape .

When I was in college my teachers said people took drugs to attain higher consciousness.

Boleo

Drinking was not my problem, it was my solution. Till it stopped being my solution. Then it became my problem.

john44

Sounds like you had some smart high school teachers.

MarkNS

Thanks everybody for your responses. It does seem like I was 'tricked' by alcohol into somehow believing that I can't live without it. I'm sure that is nonsense now though.