drunk as heck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1
drunk as heck
hey guys. i have 2 kids and a wife (well shes my fiance) and im writing this when im drunk. i want to stop and its just not happening. can we go back and forth about things that keep you away from drinking? reading does it for me. i read about 30 right now, all over 1k pages, and it makes it slower. i dont want AA because it makes me feel like an idiot since im 25. its hard going there when everyone is like 20 years older. i just want to hear about stuff that keeps you away. doesnt have to be great advice. i just need it to slow down right now. i have to make it stop eventually. give me some stuff so i can slow it down for now.
(ive gone thru detox 3 times and 3 week rehab. just give me something please. thank you. im still going to go to rehab again. appreciate the answers if you got any)
(ive gone thru detox 3 times and 3 week rehab. just give me something please. thank you. im still going to go to rehab again. appreciate the answers if you got any)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I had to change my life pretty much - a drastic solution, but it was a pretty drastic problem.
There's gradations of change tho...I think logging in here regularly, reading around, posting, joining a few threads could help a lot Drue....there's a lot of support and ideas here.
D
There's gradations of change tho...I think logging in here regularly, reading around, posting, joining a few threads could help a lot Drue....there's a lot of support and ideas here.
D
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I had to do more than want to stop, I had to actually STOP. I had to take action as opposed to thinking myself into quitting. I pulled the trigger. Quit. No compromise, no "slowing" down.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome drue -
I'm glad you reached out tonight. For me to get sober, I had to give up the idea that I'd be able to control my drinking "the next time." I had to stop "trying" to get sober and actually make the decision that I wasn't going to pick up another drink, no matter what, no matter how I felt about it.
Staying sober meant getting lots of support (this is a great place for that!) and making whatever changes I needed to make (including getting help if I needed it), one day at a time.
If we can do it, you can, too!
I'm glad you reached out tonight. For me to get sober, I had to give up the idea that I'd be able to control my drinking "the next time." I had to stop "trying" to get sober and actually make the decision that I wasn't going to pick up another drink, no matter what, no matter how I felt about it.
Staying sober meant getting lots of support (this is a great place for that!) and making whatever changes I needed to make (including getting help if I needed it), one day at a time.
If we can do it, you can, too!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Happy you are making this decision to start at least asking questions. It could be the beginning of something great for you.
Sorry to have to agree with the others here, there really is no in between for most of us. It is all or nothing the majority of the time. Very few get away with moderation.
From the looks of your post you will likely need to completely abstain from alcohol if you want to get better. Keep connected here and hopefully soon you will find the strength to try sobriety. We're here whenever you need to connect with like minded people.
Go for it, you won't regret it.
Sorry to have to agree with the others here, there really is no in between for most of us. It is all or nothing the majority of the time. Very few get away with moderation.
From the looks of your post you will likely need to completely abstain from alcohol if you want to get better. Keep connected here and hopefully soon you will find the strength to try sobriety. We're here whenever you need to connect with like minded people.
Go for it, you won't regret it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 6
Hi. Ya know, iwish I had that answer for you because I'd tell myself. I am 4 1/2 weeks completely sober. And right now i really want to drink a bottle of wine....but the reason I stopped the booze is because I fell at my bday party when everyone had left already and knocked myself out and ended up with a concussion and missing a week of work. The dr said im lucky to still be around because i fell straight backwards off a step onto the concrete . So that has worked to stop for me. It isnt the first injury from drinking. I dont recommended you crack your head to stop tho...lol ( just a lil humor..it keeps me above water). Think of the kids and your fiance..hard to do as an alcoholic because it is a selfish disease. I hope all goes well.~ Laura
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: oz
Posts: 164
Im only a few days in but first it was admitting that I had a problem and that I had to control it and quit. Second I set myself up for a win...I stayed on here and replaced alcohol for a non alcoholic beverage...let people know how I felt....and accepted any advice that came my way in the moment.....things like "I'm not going to drink now" and staying in the moment to "my reward will be letting my head hit the pillow without a drink" really helped.....identifying triggers acknowledging them and then not allowing myself "excuses" and talking myself into drinking. Accepting that yes I was going to feel like shite, but that was definitely better than the alternative. As I said I'm only a few days completely sober, but that's what has helped me. You can do it!!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
I wish I had the answer. I myself would swear off drinking a lot of nights,and EVERY morning. By about lunch time I started to sway to the other side of the fence. By 5 oclock there was no contest. I was headed to the beer store,and there really wasn't any stopping me. I planned my whole life around getting drunk at 5 oclock. I somehow woke up to the fact I was drinking 8 beers on the 45 minute drive home. Thats a beer every 5 or 6 minutes. I kept going until I passed out.
I think I had just finally had enough of living like that. I finally made up my mind i was gonna stop. I went to AA like clockwork up to 6 months and kept attending regularly to 9 months. I made staying sober more important than anything.
I know you have tried to stop before. But as i have said many times. The alcoholic mind is like a kid throwing a tantrum. If it thinks it has any chance of getting it's way it will raise hell. But if it knows there is absolutely no chance of getting what it wants,it will somewhat behave. I am trying to say there has to be absolutely no doubt in your mind that you are not gonna drink. Take the option off the table,and it gets a little easier.
Keep comin back.
Fred
I think I had just finally had enough of living like that. I finally made up my mind i was gonna stop. I went to AA like clockwork up to 6 months and kept attending regularly to 9 months. I made staying sober more important than anything.
I know you have tried to stop before. But as i have said many times. The alcoholic mind is like a kid throwing a tantrum. If it thinks it has any chance of getting it's way it will raise hell. But if it knows there is absolutely no chance of getting what it wants,it will somewhat behave. I am trying to say there has to be absolutely no doubt in your mind that you are not gonna drink. Take the option off the table,and it gets a little easier.
Keep comin back.
Fred
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
im guessin the slowin down is the drinkin thing?
if so, seach on here about moderation and see how good that has worked for others.
them folks that are 20 years older than you at AA? prolly a few of em that were 25 or younger when they got into AA.alcoholism is no respector of age. the longer ya wait to stop completely, the harder it could get to stop and the worse it could get.
my advise is skip the slowin down and stop completely. rehab may be a great choice, but i highly encourage that if ya go, listen to what they are tellin ya and do what they say this time.
if so, seach on here about moderation and see how good that has worked for others.
them folks that are 20 years older than you at AA? prolly a few of em that were 25 or younger when they got into AA.alcoholism is no respector of age. the longer ya wait to stop completely, the harder it could get to stop and the worse it could get.
my advise is skip the slowin down and stop completely. rehab may be a great choice, but i highly encourage that if ya go, listen to what they are tellin ya and do what they say this time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,116
Drue some really practical advice here. My Rehab had women only, 18-55. I was that 55year old. My AA and CA meetings that I attend have an age range very similar. Ya, there's old timers and there are older folks still trying. I really admire the young kids in the meetings. The one's who do keep coming back and are active in their recovery. The ONLY thing AA requires is the desire to quit drinking. Sounds like you have that desire.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: 510
Posts: 19
Life suddenly stops being about you when you become a parent. If you think you can't do it by yourself you need to do it for them if you think it's a problem. Don't feel bad about going to AA or your age. Addiction doesn't care how old you are. Also there are AA programs aimed at young adults. Stay safe
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
For me there is no .."slow it down" either. In order for me to learn to stop using alcohol as a crutch and way of life, I had to remove it as an option. In order to grow and change and endure, it just can't be an option...no if's and or but's. And I cannot fool myself into thinking I want to drink "socially". I did not drink socially. I drank because social situations made me anxious and awkward. I drank to artifically alter my state. If I was sitting around feeling good and peaceful in my own skin, why would I drink? Like really..if I wasn't needing something to make me feel better when I felt bad...why drink? I can't wrap my brain around that one. If I'm comfortable in the situation, do I need alcohol to be MORE comfortable. What affect do I need from alcohol if it's social. My brain is not non-alcoholic enough to answer that question for myself. It just seems rather pointless. Unless I NEED to drink...why drink? To look normal? Because other people are doing it?
If someone has an answer as to why to drink if you don't NEED to, I'm all ears. And if you need to, well you shouldn't drink.
If someone has an answer as to why to drink if you don't NEED to, I'm all ears. And if you need to, well you shouldn't drink.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Wow if you could just slow down there would be no alcoholics in the world. I'm not being a smart arse. I really mean it.
A lot of people who lose the ability to put the drink down after a couple or gulp while hiding from others - whatever the case have to stop. If you are like me you are still in a bit of denial. I liked the tantrum analogy!
Alcohol is just another drug. We are using it because we are mentally, physically and behaviorally addicted.
I have so many reasons to drink and I'll make a few up if I have to. My Alcoholic voice is LOUD. Right now I'm struggling but if I touch it the night is over and Im sick most of the day tomorrow. I try to play the "drunk movie" in my head before the AV gets too loud. It doesn't always work but if it never did I'd really be sick.
I'm working towards obsessing on that horrific Alcoholic movie rather than the drink. That's all I can really add here. I wish you and your family all the best.
A lot of people who lose the ability to put the drink down after a couple or gulp while hiding from others - whatever the case have to stop. If you are like me you are still in a bit of denial. I liked the tantrum analogy!
Alcohol is just another drug. We are using it because we are mentally, physically and behaviorally addicted.
I have so many reasons to drink and I'll make a few up if I have to. My Alcoholic voice is LOUD. Right now I'm struggling but if I touch it the night is over and Im sick most of the day tomorrow. I try to play the "drunk movie" in my head before the AV gets too loud. It doesn't always work but if it never did I'd really be sick.
I'm working towards obsessing on that horrific Alcoholic movie rather than the drink. That's all I can really add here. I wish you and your family all the best.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
Dear drue,
Maybe you can't stop drinking completely and instead just want to slow down because you still have so much more to experience as an alcoholic (as you have been thru detox/rehab so often I hope you don't mind that I call you an alcoholic). Maybe you still need to...
...Embarass yourself and your family once again by being the only person completely sh#t-faced in public or at a family gathering.
...Drive under the influence (again) and get caught, scoring a DUI, huge fine and the loss of your licence. Maybe even spend some time in jail.
...Experience lots more massively hung over mornings, stomach churning, nerves like tight piano wire, dry heaves, head throbbing, shaking from head to toe. Good times!
...Abuse, either verbally or physically, your fiance, who has stuck by you despite your drinking problem. Really take her down a peg!
...Scream at your kids again for making too much noise even though they are quietly playing. It's still too loud, considering the state your in (could be drunk, could be hung over).
...Lie in bed in the morning trying to remember if you did anything bad, awful, or really terrible while out on the town "having fun" the night before. Check car for any new damage.
...Spend all your time worrying about losing your job, since you've been late more often than not, or have called in sick so often, miserable from too much booze the night before.
...lose your fiance, kids, and job as a direct result of your inability to stop drinking.
If you still have some or all of these things to accomplish, then by all means, keep on drinking and trying to "slow down". You should be able to accomplish all of the above, and more, in less time than you can believe.
And then again, you could stop drinking entirely. But then you might miss all the fun in the list above. Your choice, my friend.
Maybe you can't stop drinking completely and instead just want to slow down because you still have so much more to experience as an alcoholic (as you have been thru detox/rehab so often I hope you don't mind that I call you an alcoholic). Maybe you still need to...
...Embarass yourself and your family once again by being the only person completely sh#t-faced in public or at a family gathering.
...Drive under the influence (again) and get caught, scoring a DUI, huge fine and the loss of your licence. Maybe even spend some time in jail.
...Experience lots more massively hung over mornings, stomach churning, nerves like tight piano wire, dry heaves, head throbbing, shaking from head to toe. Good times!
...Abuse, either verbally or physically, your fiance, who has stuck by you despite your drinking problem. Really take her down a peg!
...Scream at your kids again for making too much noise even though they are quietly playing. It's still too loud, considering the state your in (could be drunk, could be hung over).
...Lie in bed in the morning trying to remember if you did anything bad, awful, or really terrible while out on the town "having fun" the night before. Check car for any new damage.
...Spend all your time worrying about losing your job, since you've been late more often than not, or have called in sick so often, miserable from too much booze the night before.
...lose your fiance, kids, and job as a direct result of your inability to stop drinking.
If you still have some or all of these things to accomplish, then by all means, keep on drinking and trying to "slow down". You should be able to accomplish all of the above, and more, in less time than you can believe.
And then again, you could stop drinking entirely. But then you might miss all the fun in the list above. Your choice, my friend.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
I know that was harsh drue, but you asked for stuff to slow your drinking down. That was the best I could think of. Sobriety can be better by FAR than a life lived half awake. Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 90
Originally Posted by drue 
hey guys. i have 2 kids and a wife (well shes my fiance) and im writing this when im drunk. i want to stop and its just not happening. can we go back and forth about things that keep you away from drinking? reading does it for me. i read about 30 right now, all over 1k pages, and it makes it slower. i dont want AA because it makes me feel like an idiot since im 25. its hard going there when everyone is like 20 years older. i just want to hear about stuff that keeps you away. doesnt have to be great advice. i just need it to slow down right now. i have to make it stop eventually. give me some stuff so i can slow it down for now.
(ive gone thru detox 3 times and 3 week rehab. just give me something please. thank you. im still going to go to rehab again. appreciate the answers if you got any)
(ive gone thru detox 3 times and 3 week rehab. just give me something please. thank you. im still going to go to rehab again. appreciate the answers if you got any)
Hi Drue,
Have you ever tried young peoples AA meetings. I am not sure if they those around where you live, but they have a few near me and I have attended those. I am 28 years old, so I understand where your coming from being young and trying to get sober. I am almost 5 months sober, it definitely has not been easy that's for sure, but I believe it is possible. If you ever want to chat/vent feel free to message me. I am always here to listen.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
