86 days out the window
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bronxville, NY
Posts: 3
86 days out the window
My names chris, I've been doing pretty good with sobriety the past 3 months. The past 4 years have been up and down with drinking and cocaine use. I decided i needed to go away 3 months ago, so I went to a 30 day rehab. When I got out I did about 30 days in a sober living environment, then I came home to live with my parents again. I have been working almost 7 days a week for my dad, going to the gym daily, went on vacation with my family, having sober AA parties at my house, but last night something made me just go out and get a pint of vodka. I drank it and listened to music, and when my parents came home they knew i was drunk. I have been working so hard to gain my parents trust back these past 3 months, and I feel lost now knowing i had a slip. What do I do from here? Did i **** up everything?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi Chris
I'm not sure you screwed everything up beyond repair, but you probably set the relationship with your folks back a little.
If you stick to the straight and narrow from now on, I'm sure things will improve
do you have a plan for doing that?
D
I'm not sure you screwed everything up beyond repair, but you probably set the relationship with your folks back a little.
If you stick to the straight and narrow from now on, I'm sure things will improve
do you have a plan for doing that?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
I know how it feels to deceive oneself yet again
sad to say
but
most of us who are clean and sober today
relapsed a time or two or more
before staying sober
sure a very few stayed sober from day one
but
not many that is for sure
this all does not make you feel any better this I know
for yes you have let yourself and your family down
I've been there so many times that I lost count
all that you can really do is
get honest with yourself and family members (who need to know)
and
get back on the clean and sober One Day At A Time Program
but
most of us who are clean and sober today
relapsed a time or two or more
before staying sober
sure a very few stayed sober from day one
but
not many that is for sure
this all does not make you feel any better this I know
for yes you have let yourself and your family down
I've been there so many times that I lost count
all that you can really do is
get honest with yourself and family members (who need to know)
and
get back on the clean and sober One Day At A Time Program
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bronxville, NY
Posts: 3
ok
i want to stay sober and keep what i have gained within the past 3 months, but theres a side to me, that out of no where, thinks i will feel better than i feel at the moment, if i add alcohol to the situation. It Drives me crazy, because everything I have worked towards is making me feel good, but i get very complacent after I have some sobriety under my belt and I go test the waters again and it screws me. All in all, this is harder then i thought, to stay away and avoid something that is constantly around you. 
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by meltedbutter 
...but i get very complacent after I have some sobriety under my belt and I go test the waters again and it screws me.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Hi Chris,
Forget about it. Life happens and we do best to be ourselves as much as possible. This creates a challenge when getting clean n sober, because we often did feel at our best when wasted, and so this looks inviting to us when things go south.
If we really think about it though, for me anyways, yeah I too felt better and more myself often enough when wasted, but the deal with that was I felt like crap generally anyways because of the way I was living, so getting high or drunk of course felt better. Until it didn't, of course.
Addiction ambivalence is when we both want and don't want to get wasted. Its when we know better, and we know the right thing to do, but we still get pulled into thinking and feeling that using also has its place in our plans. Its when we struggle against a lifestyle of using while we're living a lifestyle of abstinence. Its a classic situation that every person who is addicted must face and process themselves through it to be finally rid of the see-saw of addiction troubles.
You've done rehab, and sober living, so you already have an edge in the game. You've also been embraced by your family, so you've got resources behind you to fully grow through all this ambivalence. It's not uncommon for most guys to have some setbacks of one kind or another when first quitting, so don't sweat yourself too much about what happened. You're doing it right by talking about it and seeking better outcomes by learning from others, for example like here on SR. Welcome!
Re-discover your core experiences which got you into rehab in the first place, and thrash that stuff out looking for some deeper stuff that is linked to how you are being happy with yourself in what you do plan to do with your life going forward. You're still young, so do you have a plan for your life? A career? School? Taking it easy?
I quit at 24, back in 1981. I started out drinking young being at 12 yrs old. I was a real mess. Not a pretty story. I did rehab too. 3 months. Stayed clean in rehab and since. I've had my challenges too in life, lol. I can tell you once you get past the using and ambivalence stage, you got to have reasons to wake up and get going with something you can really get involved in, or else it gets grim and tough to stay away from drinking. Staying sober is very doable for those who understand themselves enough to make it real.
Once we quit, there is more to life then just not using, is my experience, and knowing that we do best when we believe in ourselves is really an essential and required understanding that will carry you through a lifetime of sober living!
Forget about it. Life happens and we do best to be ourselves as much as possible. This creates a challenge when getting clean n sober, because we often did feel at our best when wasted, and so this looks inviting to us when things go south.
If we really think about it though, for me anyways, yeah I too felt better and more myself often enough when wasted, but the deal with that was I felt like crap generally anyways because of the way I was living, so getting high or drunk of course felt better. Until it didn't, of course.
Addiction ambivalence is when we both want and don't want to get wasted. Its when we know better, and we know the right thing to do, but we still get pulled into thinking and feeling that using also has its place in our plans. Its when we struggle against a lifestyle of using while we're living a lifestyle of abstinence. Its a classic situation that every person who is addicted must face and process themselves through it to be finally rid of the see-saw of addiction troubles.
You've done rehab, and sober living, so you already have an edge in the game. You've also been embraced by your family, so you've got resources behind you to fully grow through all this ambivalence. It's not uncommon for most guys to have some setbacks of one kind or another when first quitting, so don't sweat yourself too much about what happened. You're doing it right by talking about it and seeking better outcomes by learning from others, for example like here on SR. Welcome!
Re-discover your core experiences which got you into rehab in the first place, and thrash that stuff out looking for some deeper stuff that is linked to how you are being happy with yourself in what you do plan to do with your life going forward. You're still young, so do you have a plan for your life? A career? School? Taking it easy?
I quit at 24, back in 1981. I started out drinking young being at 12 yrs old. I was a real mess. Not a pretty story. I did rehab too. 3 months. Stayed clean in rehab and since. I've had my challenges too in life, lol. I can tell you once you get past the using and ambivalence stage, you got to have reasons to wake up and get going with something you can really get involved in, or else it gets grim and tough to stay away from drinking. Staying sober is very doable for those who understand themselves enough to make it real.
Once we quit, there is more to life then just not using, is my experience, and knowing that we do best when we believe in ourselves is really an essential and required understanding that will carry you through a lifetime of sober living!
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