Harder when life is good.
 

As strange as it seems I struggle more not to drink when my life is great. I'm happier than I've ever been at the moment and can struggle from one weekend to the next without a drink. I know as soon as anything goes bad I will be straight on the downward spiral. It's hard to tell my brain that booze is bad as I've forgotten what rock bottom feels like :/

Hi Bluebird.

Yup, that's me as well. It's great you brought this up. I was just talking about this with my sister last night. When I relapsed, things were going well for me. I think it may have something to do with the mistaken idea that, when things are good, it doesn't seem possible to fall as far as I did when I drank. When I'm struggling, it's a shorter fall and seems easier to accept.

I've been this way with a lot of things in life. This time around, I've managed to learn the power of gratitude.

I agree Bluebird. I usually went back to drinking when I was feeling invincible. It kept me trying (& failing) to manage my drinking for many years. Glad you are wiser than I was.

I feel trouble coming on when ever I feel like a victim or a victor.

It's strange isn't it, I suppose I feel invincible when sober and nothing can possibly go wrong. I think it's things in my life making me happy, which it partly is, but the main thing that is making me happy is the fact that I am not drinking.

This alcohol problem is a nightmare haha

I wouldn't say I was wiser, far from it. I am just more aware at the moment, doesn't mean, even with all the facts that I won't drink :/

Yeah me too I suppose just more likely to feel like I can drink again when feeling great.

The excuses we make just to pick up that first drink is amazing isn't it? I drink on the weekends because I am happy, I am sad, I am pissed, the sun it out, it is raining outside... You name it. Any excuse to pick up that drink. It makes me shutter.

Yeah good point. Always trying to make room for drink in my life regardless of how we feel.

Invincible is not a feeling I ever want to have! If alcohol did anything good in my life, it made me much more humble. As a young person I truly believed that I could do anything. It took the fact that eventually I wasn't as powerful as alcohol. Now I know that there are a ton of things that are more powerful than I am and all I can really do is believe that a divine power keeps me under their wing,

Not all nightmares end badly. :gaah

Drinking will turn a nice day to crap ,QUICK .

Just rember that .

Any good memories of drinking ,nope ill bet not

I discussed this early on in sobriety at a meeting I went to. For some reason when I was feeling good instead of accepting that I drank in the attempt to go from feeling good to feeling great. Learning to realize feeling good is enough

I did that too ,And it never worked ,And it just became clear .

This is so me. My relapses have happened when I'm feeling really good. They rarely have happened when I feel bad.

In treatment, I read that some people use alcohol when they are very depressed, sad, lonely, etc. But some people use alcohol to "accentuate a high" or a good feeling. That was me. I think I have some slight mania going on sometimes, and this makes me think of all the partying and "good times" and is a huge trigger for me.

I need to learn how to accept these good feelings. Don't try to manipulate them to make them last longer or be better...just accept them and enjoy. Alcohol doesn't actually make the feelings better anyway...just turns the good feelings into impulsiveness and insanity tbh.

If I can overcome the drink by achieving sobriety, there's a part of me that tells me I must be invincible. I mean, so few people actually get and stay sober. Sadly, I put this barely-conscious theory to the test.