Opinions Please
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: knoxville tn
Posts: 21
Opinions Please
hey all!
my friend came to me today and said that she thought that i should get all beer/wine etc. out of the house (my husbands). my husband is not an alcoholic. he is very supportive in my recovery. when i firsted started in recovery, he offered to remove all alcohol from our home. i told him no. i did not think that was fair to him. he rarely drinks in my presence. the thing is, if i was going to drink, i would not drink anything from home anyway, because he would not how much beer is missing. if i was going to drink, i would go buy my own and hide it as usual.
do you think i need to "rid" the house of all his beer and wine?
thanks
love to all
angela
my friend came to me today and said that she thought that i should get all beer/wine etc. out of the house (my husbands). my husband is not an alcoholic. he is very supportive in my recovery. when i firsted started in recovery, he offered to remove all alcohol from our home. i told him no. i did not think that was fair to him. he rarely drinks in my presence. the thing is, if i was going to drink, i would not drink anything from home anyway, because he would not how much beer is missing. if i was going to drink, i would go buy my own and hide it as usual.
do you think i need to "rid" the house of all his beer and wine?
thanks
love to all
angela
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: I wish I knew...
Posts: 49
I think that is completely up to you. When my AH came home from rehab I didn't even ask, I just got rid of it all. I also was never a drinker, so it was his stuff and I made that decision. We made lots of changes to the way we live and even to the way we eat when he came home, to be sure he didn't have any triggers in the house.
Anyway, I admire you for being able to maintain your recovery while the beer/wine is still in the house. But again, it is up to you, and you don't seem to have an issue with it. I guess that leads to the questions... How long have you been in recovery? and Have you had any tempetations during that period?
I would hate for you to get upset for whatever reason and see it there. You know?
Anyway, I admire you for being able to maintain your recovery while the beer/wine is still in the house. But again, it is up to you, and you don't seem to have an issue with it. I guess that leads to the questions... How long have you been in recovery? and Have you had any tempetations during that period?
I would hate for you to get upset for whatever reason and see it there. You know?
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Lowell Massachusetts
Posts: 1
I agree with Mary. But if you are going to choose to let it remain in the house, you have to be totally honest with yourself. I personally can't have it anywhere within my reach and I know my own limits. I used to think that maybe I could keep a bottle of wine laying around and just have a glass here and there. The bottle would never last more than 2 days and I was only fooling myself. So ultimately it's your call, but especially if your husband has no problem with removing it, I don't think that's a bad idea.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 23
I love it when somebody asks for my opinion!!
Hi, surfin! If it was me, I'd get rid of all of it if I could. No way you can trust me around a smidgen of alcohol. If your hubby doesn't care, clean it all out. Look at it this way . . . he can always get it if he wants, but to you it's like a pyromaniac with matches in his pocket. One spark and off you go! Just my opinion!
RD
Hi, surfin! If it was me, I'd get rid of all of it if I could. No way you can trust me around a smidgen of alcohol. If your hubby doesn't care, clean it all out. Look at it this way . . . he can always get it if he wants, but to you it's like a pyromaniac with matches in his pocket. One spark and off you go! Just my opinion!
RD
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi Surfin,
My husband is supportive also and gladly got rid of all alcohol. I am very, very glad he did because, although most of the time it wouldn't be an issue if alcohol was around our house, there would be times, in the long, dark hours of the night, when it would be really hard to resist. This way I don't have to worry about it.
Love, Anna
My husband is supportive also and gladly got rid of all alcohol. I am very, very glad he did because, although most of the time it wouldn't be an issue if alcohol was around our house, there would be times, in the long, dark hours of the night, when it would be really hard to resist. This way I don't have to worry about it.
Love, Anna
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Angela, kudos to your man for the support he is ready to give you.
As far as having our little friends present in the house, Mmmmm.....
Tough call some would say.
Pitch it I say! Ask an addict for an opinion, you're gonna get one
As far as having our little friends present in the house, Mmmmm.....
Tough call some would say.
Pitch it I say! Ask an addict for an opinion, you're gonna get one
Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 122
Hello,
The beginning was rough I gotta say and following those suggestions of people, places and things, and avoiding triggers was a necessity. That was for about the first 6 months of sobriety.
Now I don't fear alcohol or drugs. I fear the person I become once I start drinking or using. Unless I make the conscious decision to take a drink or a drug there is no way any of that is going to get into my system. I can be around alcohol and I have no desire to drink it. the obsession has been removed for me. It doesn't matter to me if anyone drinks or not. I choose not to be around really drunk people if I can avoid it though.
So anyway that is just where I am at, do whatever you need to. It's all good the way I see it.
H
The beginning was rough I gotta say and following those suggestions of people, places and things, and avoiding triggers was a necessity. That was for about the first 6 months of sobriety.
Now I don't fear alcohol or drugs. I fear the person I become once I start drinking or using. Unless I make the conscious decision to take a drink or a drug there is no way any of that is going to get into my system. I can be around alcohol and I have no desire to drink it. the obsession has been removed for me. It doesn't matter to me if anyone drinks or not. I choose not to be around really drunk people if I can avoid it though.
So anyway that is just where I am at, do whatever you need to. It's all good the way I see it.
H
First Things First
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: New Orleans, Louisiana
Posts: 28
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
Page 100
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts
of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People
have said we must not go where liquor is served; we
101
must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends
who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show
drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends
must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we
mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our
experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic
who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there
is something the matter with his spiritual status. His
only chance for sobriety would be some place like the
Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might
turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!
Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant
places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism
which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation
is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield
himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds
up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried
these methods. These attempts to do the impossible
have always failed.
---------------------------------
What an Order! In the beginning fear kept me sober. At some point I had to begin living life again, which meant I would be around alcohol. The power of this recovery program and acting on God's Grace demonstrate themselves in me best on those days when I am surrounded by alcohol and want a drink, and instead remain sober .
Page 100
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts
of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People
have said we must not go where liquor is served; we
101
must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends
who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show
drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends
must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we
mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our
experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic
who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there
is something the matter with his spiritual status. His
only chance for sobriety would be some place like the
Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might
turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!
Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant
places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism
which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation
is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield
himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds
up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried
these methods. These attempts to do the impossible
have always failed.
---------------------------------
What an Order! In the beginning fear kept me sober. At some point I had to begin living life again, which meant I would be around alcohol. The power of this recovery program and acting on God's Grace demonstrate themselves in me best on those days when I am surrounded by alcohol and want a drink, and instead remain sober .
Late stage optimist
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Auburn, WA
Posts: 306
Angela:
There are those who feel that in recovery it is not appropriate to have any alcohol around, not even after shave or Listerene. I am dead serious about my recovery. Will do whatever it takes. I did not feel it was necessary to give up gargling with Listerene (which reduces the plaque on my teeth, does not get me drunk) or having some alcohol in my home such as Vermouth and sherry for cooking. I love to cook and sometimes use these items in recipes, but don't have a problem with tasting it as long as the alcohol is cooked off.
I got married four years into sobriety, and my wife drinks wine. We have a wine rack with wine on it, I could grab a bottle and drink it whenever I wanted, but I don't. That is my choice. My wife would leave it out of the house if she felt I wanted it that way, no problem. If it ever got to the point that it became uncomfortable, I would easily ask her to remove it.
My problems today are not with drinking, they are with dealing with changes in my life and changing behaviors that are unhealthy. These are great challenges that today I can meet with enthusiasm because I am not just "not drinking", I am working a recovery program. If you feel safe with hubby's booze in the home and he is not a boozer, then it should be no problem. Tell your friends they can do it their way and God bless them too! :sombrero:
There are those who feel that in recovery it is not appropriate to have any alcohol around, not even after shave or Listerene. I am dead serious about my recovery. Will do whatever it takes. I did not feel it was necessary to give up gargling with Listerene (which reduces the plaque on my teeth, does not get me drunk) or having some alcohol in my home such as Vermouth and sherry for cooking. I love to cook and sometimes use these items in recipes, but don't have a problem with tasting it as long as the alcohol is cooked off.
I got married four years into sobriety, and my wife drinks wine. We have a wine rack with wine on it, I could grab a bottle and drink it whenever I wanted, but I don't. That is my choice. My wife would leave it out of the house if she felt I wanted it that way, no problem. If it ever got to the point that it became uncomfortable, I would easily ask her to remove it.
My problems today are not with drinking, they are with dealing with changes in my life and changing behaviors that are unhealthy. These are great challenges that today I can meet with enthusiasm because I am not just "not drinking", I am working a recovery program. If you feel safe with hubby's booze in the home and he is not a boozer, then it should be no problem. Tell your friends they can do it their way and God bless them too! :sombrero:
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