Sober alcoholic who wants to talk to and hang out with friends when they are drunk
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Austin
Posts: 4
Sober alcoholic who wants to talk to and hang out with friends when they are drunk
I hope the title isn't confusing. I have a friend who's sober, however not in a program of recovery (has been on and off for last 7 years, but decided she would get sober after her last relapse without AA). She's been sober about 4-5 months, and is now asking old friends from AA who are no longer in recovery, aka drinking again, to call her when they are drunk, or that she wants to hang out with them when they are drunk, but not drink herself. It seems she just wants to be around old friends when they are drunk. I am a little baffled about this. For me, it's boring and lame to hang out with drunk people when you are sober and I just feel there's something strange about it. Anyone got any ideas why she would want to do this???
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 98
Sometimes hanging around people that are drinking can make an alcoholic want to join in and drink (at least that has happened to me). Maybe she, consciously or unconsciously, wants to drink with them?
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pennsburg, Pa.
Posts: 389
maybe she's looking for a mirror ??? the problem I see in hanging out with people that are
drinking is that that projected mirror a become self-reflective and I wind up drinking again....
the old AA saying..."people, places, and things...."
drinking is that that projected mirror a become self-reflective and I wind up drinking again....
the old AA saying..."people, places, and things...."
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
Could be she wants a contact buzz. For me I did and sometimes still do like to live vicariously through others. It sounds strange and I don't recommend it but being around my friends drinking or getting high can be fun. But then on the drive home I think "man I'm glad I'm sober". Or maybe she wants to try to talk them into getting sober again. Who knows? Have you asker her?
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Western ny
Posts: 388
I hung out with a lot of my friends yesterday who still drink and were all drinking yesterday. Seeing some of them go from happy and talkative to passing out and talking gibberish or becoming angry for absolutely no reason definitely reinforced my decision to remain sober
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
they say alcohol is but a symptom of our disease.
I don't have a problem being around a social drinker, I wouldn't want to be around anyone that drank like I did. I was a raving lunatic
Why add to temptation by being around people doing something you can't?
I don't have a problem being around a social drinker, I wouldn't want to be around anyone that drank like I did. I was a raving lunatic
Why add to temptation by being around people doing something you can't?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 30
That seems strange that she wants to be around a certain person particularly when they are drunk. I have no idea why she would want to do that. I'm quite the opposite, I don't want to be around my old friends if they are drinking...it would be triggering and annoying.
Who knows? I'd ask her.
Who knows? I'd ask her.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I wonder if this friend's behaviour while drunk actually reinforces her own resolve to stay sober. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I wouldn't recommend or even suggest that anyone do this, but it is a possible explanation.
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