Semiok

I drink too much.

It's starting to affect my money, my life, and everything. It seems so innocent.

I keep wanting to quit but I keep wanting to get drunk. I don't want to anymore. I can't stop.

What do you do? How did you stop? I really want to but I can't.... I'm tired of being under it's heavy weight - but it feels so good.

How did you stop?

silentrun

Hi Semiok. I see it's your first post so welcome aboard. I was just to afraid to go any further down the road I was on so I had to stop.

Semiok

Yeah.

That's where I'm at. I need to, but I can't/won't.

Is it just some testicular fortitude to tell myself to say NO....

It's just.. I don't know what I want...

mick3580

I could stop. I could not stay stopped. My firmest decision to stay stopped could not and would not stick.

Semiok

I hear you, Mick.

I will if you will.

EndGameNYC

Nah...If it were only that simple. If that worked, there wouldn't be a place to get support, information and help, and then to post comments.

mick3580

I'm sober. I haven't drank in a little over six years.

Semiok

Yeah, I guess I'm being a bit over dramatic.

I just... I'm not the go out and get help sort of guy. Thank you for your replies.

silentrun

I was at the point where all I wanted to do was drink. It was all or nothing to me. All in is not really an option when you think about it. You are here and you will get a lot of support. Strength and willpower has little to do with it. It seems like it comes from a different place. Please stick around for a little while tonight.
Edit because I saw what you posted. This place has been my support. I am not using AA but I may in the future.

Semiok

Yeah, I'll be here.

Thank you.

tomsteve

hows that been workin out for ya? just takes a lil humility. im sure theres many here that had to get that. you can,too.

GroundhogDay

In my case, the "how" involved more than just stopping drinking. For me, the drinking was a symptom of a larger problem. I had to 1) make drastic changes to my life to address the issues that led me to drink in the first place, and 2) realize with a firm conviction that I could never trust myself with alcohol again (in other words, I cannot try moderating after a period of sobriety). Once you use alcohol as an emotional crutch, you always go back to it. Your brain is wired to do so.

Semiok

Hasn't been working out very well, Tom. :P

I've been the man of the house since I was 13 so humility has never been my strong suit.

But, truth in your words, time to learn some.

Thank you.

EndGameNYC

Most of us weren't that guy, until we no longer had a choice.

I've got an undercurrent of depression going on today. I've suffered from major depression for most of my adulthood, though it's been under control for the past few years. I don't think any of it has to do with alcohol. I've got some big things coming up this month, including major surgery, and then withdrawing from the necessary painkillers (never had a problem with them); am teaching again this fall; and a few other "things to do" that need to be done.

Giving and getting support here today has gone a long way in my struggling through this.

Semiok

Wise words.

I will be saving that. Here's to sober *sips powerade*.

Nevertheless

Quitting is very difficult. That's the reason there are rehab places,AA,and all kinds of other things and support groups to help people stop.
Doing it by yourself makes it even more difficult. It helps a LOT to be around other people that have or are going through this.
Realizing you want to quit,and realizing it isn't going to be easy is the place to start. Most of the better things in life do take hard work though.
I wish you the best...
Fred

Dee74

Hi and welcome semiok

SR helped me turn my life around...some people need more.
If you decide you need more too, there's no end of suggestions, advice and help here.

There is life after drinking - there's hundreds of people here who's stories are testament to that.

If you want it, and are willing to do what it takes, you'll make it

D

Sudz No More

This sentence rings so true, thank you Silentrun. The moment you can learn that different place that Silentrun is talking about is the moment you will begin to recover.

I couldn't find it for the longest time and it really is just making peace with yourself. Accepting that you and alcohol have a toxic relationship and can never be together, ever again. Accept it and look past it and before you know it you will be adding sober day after sober day.

Don't nail bite, don't white knuckle just accept that you can't drink and forget about it. Don't even feed into yelling at your conscience. Just avoid negotiating with your conscience, leave the thought alone and get to the next day.

One day at a time...

Semiok

Thank you for all the help.

I actually decided to come clean with my wife and ask for help. I'm lucky enough that she stands beside me and supports my decision. I think she was worried but didn't want to bring it up.

I want to thank these forums for letting me speak and send me on the right path. Is there life without drinking? I guess I'll try and find out.

See how it goes!

karate

If you keep going ,you will hit a point where you cant keep drinking and cant stop either .

Most of us have been there .

However there will come a time when the suffering of stopping is easier than drinking .

You have not been there yet ,from what i have read ,when you arrive you will know .