New to this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Alabama
Posts: 12
New to this
I'm new to this forum, don't really know how to get clean. I've been drinking since I was 17. I'm 28 now and it's progressively gotten worse over the years, especially the past 2. I think I am a functional alcoholic...I go to work, mow the yard, do the normal stuff. But when night comes the bottle comes out and I crave it. I drink a half of fifth of vodka almost every night and I'm at my breaking point. I don't want to do this anymore but I don't know how to stop. I went to AA once but when I saw someone there I knew ( he was court ordered) I got embarrassed and never went back. I just need some guidance, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Welcome! SR is a great resource. If you are willing to try AA again, maybe you could find a closed meeting. If not, there are other methods (Rational Recovery, private counseling, etc). Glad you're here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Alabama
Posts: 12
I'm not against AA but all of the meetings that are closed conflict with my work schedule. The longest I have had without a drink is 2 days at a time and it is really hard. I don't know what to do when that time of night comes and then I have trouble sleeping.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Welcome to SR! This is a great place to get support. 
**If you are concerned about running into this certain individual at group, is there a different AA meeting place near you which you could go and check out? We have many different groups here nearby where I live (for instance.) Is that an option for you?
**If you are concerned about running into this certain individual at group, is there a different AA meeting place near you which you could go and check out? We have many different groups here nearby where I live (for instance.) Is that an option for you?
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Hi Bee,
Welcome n thanks for sharing. U honestly remind me of myself @ the beginning. Wanted to quit drinking but the cravings n companionship of other drinkers always took precedence. I saw a counselor n she suggested aa which surprisingly I had never heard of but went to a mtg. Was welcomed & even tho I didn't quit undstd what all the laughter was about I gave it a shot. Unfortunately, since my sponsor @ the time was going thru marital issues, I didn't get plugged in so relapsed.
However, 13 mths ago, I came back w/ both feet in after horrible last drunk! I just came back to SR today after an almost 2 mth absence coz of AW lying to deputy simple battery. That cozed violation of probation which gave me an extra 15 days. But here I am still sober & things have been turning around for me as never b4:Got out of home that was so full of chaos n living w/ some1 in the program too, got my license reinstated last Thur,got car back from repair shop, got $ from cousins who I neva thot would help me w/ 1st mth's rent & license renewal etc. & I believe its all coz of what very good friend of mine in home group told me-if nthg changes, then nthg changes!. He was tired of me calling him whining about her ways yet I was doing nthg about it.
I suggest highly that you get a sponsor, join nearest meeting room & get a strong network of guys that will call u on u're crap but also love & support you when u feel all hell is breaking loose!
This program works if you work it
Read Big bk pgs142-144
Welcome n thanks for sharing. U honestly remind me of myself @ the beginning. Wanted to quit drinking but the cravings n companionship of other drinkers always took precedence. I saw a counselor n she suggested aa which surprisingly I had never heard of but went to a mtg. Was welcomed & even tho I didn't quit undstd what all the laughter was about I gave it a shot. Unfortunately, since my sponsor @ the time was going thru marital issues, I didn't get plugged in so relapsed.
However, 13 mths ago, I came back w/ both feet in after horrible last drunk! I just came back to SR today after an almost 2 mth absence coz of AW lying to deputy simple battery. That cozed violation of probation which gave me an extra 15 days. But here I am still sober & things have been turning around for me as never b4:Got out of home that was so full of chaos n living w/ some1 in the program too, got my license reinstated last Thur,got car back from repair shop, got $ from cousins who I neva thot would help me w/ 1st mth's rent & license renewal etc. & I believe its all coz of what very good friend of mine in home group told me-if nthg changes, then nthg changes!. He was tired of me calling him whining about her ways yet I was doing nthg about it.
I suggest highly that you get a sponsor, join nearest meeting room & get a strong network of guys that will call u on u're crap but also love & support you when u feel all hell is breaking loose!
This program works if you work it
Read Big bk pgs142-144
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:New to this.
I used to drink vodka like it was water. Now I prefer something less stringent.
After 12 years clean I can honestly say A.A. saved my life. It's not the only game in town, though.
S.R. might be a good alternative, even though I recommend face to face meetings. If you're still unsure, try some alternative therapy. It may help you get over that initial hurdle.
Spending time online is also beneficial, just as long as its in sober forums like this one. We can help you get through those anxious moments early on and often.
Whatever is needed to get the ball rolling is what I always say. And of course; We'll leave the light on for you.
After 12 years clean I can honestly say A.A. saved my life. It's not the only game in town, though.
S.R. might be a good alternative, even though I recommend face to face meetings. If you're still unsure, try some alternative therapy. It may help you get over that initial hurdle.
Spending time online is also beneficial, just as long as its in sober forums like this one. We can help you get through those anxious moments early on and often.
Whatever is needed to get the ball rolling is what I always say. And of course; We'll leave the light on for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Alabama
Posts: 12
Thanks for the support, I need it. I'm just scared to be sober. I've been a drunk for over 10 years and the days I don't drink (which are rare) I feel lost. I don't know what to do with my time. All I think about is drinking. If I make it a day or two, then what? I feel lost
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:New to this.
Originally Posted by Beeman 
Thanks for the support, I need it. I'm just scared to be sober. I've been a drunk for over 10 years and the days I don't drink (which are rare) I feel lost. I don't know what to do with my time. All I think about is drinking. If I make it a day or two, then what? I feel lost
I wasted 20+ years of nothingness and 5 more just for good measure before I finally sobered up, so I not surprised at all by your admission. 'What we do with ourselves' now that were sober was one of the many questions I asked myself early on. But let the truth be told; I had no problems staying busy after I stopped drinking. There were so many places I could turn, so my friendships that needed repair, not to mention all the support afforded to recovering alcoholics. I had plenty of time to pick and choose, but what I couldn't do is take a step back. Then it would be lights out, again. I do hope you give recovery an honest try. Who knows, you may find it more appealing.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Beeman!
I was terrified to get sober..... drinking was the one thing I looked forward to after getting through a tough day. But, of course, the days were getting harder because of anxiety/depression from the drinking, so it became a vicious cycle. It was only after coming here and reading for a couple months that I began to have some hope...... if others were sober and happy, maybe I could be, too. I'm so glad I took that leap of faith.
I agree that it's pretty much impossible to do this on our own. We all need a LOT of support in the beginning. I basically lived on this forum for the first week, kinda like switching my obsession from drinking to sobriety. There's other resources, too (treatment, counseling, addiction specialists, recovery programs, etc.)...... Also, if you're drinking every day, you need to be very careful detoxing (a doctor can help with this).
I found it to be more manageable if I just dealt with staying sober in the present moment instead of getting out into the future. The fear of getting sober is just an image in our head..... You can do this!
I was terrified to get sober..... drinking was the one thing I looked forward to after getting through a tough day. But, of course, the days were getting harder because of anxiety/depression from the drinking, so it became a vicious cycle. It was only after coming here and reading for a couple months that I began to have some hope...... if others were sober and happy, maybe I could be, too. I'm so glad I took that leap of faith.
I agree that it's pretty much impossible to do this on our own. We all need a LOT of support in the beginning. I basically lived on this forum for the first week, kinda like switching my obsession from drinking to sobriety. There's other resources, too (treatment, counseling, addiction specialists, recovery programs, etc.)...... Also, if you're drinking every day, you need to be very careful detoxing (a doctor can help with this).
I found it to be more manageable if I just dealt with staying sober in the present moment instead of getting out into the future. The fear of getting sober is just an image in our head..... You can do this!
Matt M
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 490
Originally Posted by Beeman
I'm new to this forum, don't really know how to get clean. I've been drinking since I was 17. I'm 28 now and it's progressively gotten worse over the years, especially the past 2. I think I am a functional alcoholic...I go to work, mow the yard, do the normal stuff. But when night comes the bottle comes out and I crave it. I drink a half of fifth of vodka almost every night and I'm at my breaking point. I don't want to do this anymore but I don't know how to stop. I went to AA once but when I saw someone there I knew ( he was court ordered) I got embarrassed and never went back. I just need some guidance, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I was functional at one point until I was about 29. There is only so much your body can take and gradually things go downhill.
Like going into work being aware you are drunk but being able to keep it together so nobody notices - that eventually changes.
Also, going out with friends, drinking more before you go out than they even do all night, yet still being the least drunk person there. Again, that eventually changes.
Personally i've no interest in AA or anything like that and I'm of the opinion that the best person to help you is yourself. BUT i've also read accounts from people on here who it really seems to work for, so it's not something I would dismiss, it just isn't for me.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
I was embarrassed to go to AA and I did meet someone I knew at my first meeting. But you know, I've been sober ever since that first meeting 5 1/2 years ago. Lots of people know I'm in AA and it just doesn't matter to me what they think. People knowing has no bearing on how I live my life. I need the program for the support and the structure. I'm sober and my life really couldn't be much better.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
