TinTazzy

I think I need to sit my H down and tell him what he doesn't want to hear. I told him on the phone today that I have been thinking alot the last couple of weeks and I'm really proud of the changes I have made in my life. His comment back to me was "yeah, you changed alot, all I heard was you this morning swearing and banging things around) I get up at 4:30 am to get ready for work, (my H has been laid off for 7 months) get the kids up, wash any dishes H dirtied the night before, he doesn't go to bed until 2-3:00 AM) do a load on laundry, get myself ready for work, make sure the kids are dressed, teeth brushed ect, and run out the door with 10 minutes to get to work. My H likes me to be "superwomen" and anything less than perfect is frowned upon. (don't try to change it, it will never happen) I need for him to see that I'm not perfect and I was a "closet drinker" (that term to me is funny because unless your nose was totally ripped off your face you could smell my vodka breath from about 100 yards away I am going to wait until be comes into the kitchen and I'm going to calmly (yeah right) walk over the the liquore hutch and start pouring bottles down the drain and maybe that will get his attention, then I'm going to sit him down and explain what I have been going through. Now, I already know how this is going to end so lets see if I perdict it correctly and I'll report tomorrow morning. First he's going to ask me if I'm crazy, then when I try to sit him down to talk he'll accuse me of being "weak" and that I shouldn't be around the kids because I'm a danger to them, then he'll tell me how disappointed in me that he is and if he would have known I was an alcholic he would never have married me and if I didn't straighten my **** up (this is his favorite saying) we were going to have problems (like there isn't any now?) and he was going to divorce me (what, do you need gas money? I'll be happy to supply it but it's going to mean getting out of bed sometime between 9-5 to get to the court house)

O.K. maybe I'm exaggerating it a little but that's how nervous I am.
:greencry:

MootPoint

TinTazzy.... firstly, welcome to SR.

Secondly, you have to take care of you. Pouring that vodka down the drain is a great start. You probably know what's next........ maybe some AA meetings, maybe SMART, maybe some other program. Don't try to do it alone.

Thirdly...... copy and paste that into the Al Anon forum! You're an alcoholic but you could use some advice about your husband. I'm not anywhere near competent enough in such matters to advise you, but the ppl in Al Anon would be.

Fourthly (is that a word?)....... let us know how everything went! Keep posting and reading.

Dan

Tazzy,
Good luck girl.

TinTazzy

Mootpoint,
Can't go to AA, Hubby doesn't believe in "outside" help, he believes a person should be strong enough to help themselves, so any kind of outside help is not going to happen. That's why I'm happy to of found this board, I get a lot of encouragement from the wonderful people who are here.

surfinsupermom

Tazzy,

My husband, like yours, does not "believe in AA", but for a different reason. He says that everybody he has ever known that went ended up having an affair. LOL!!!!!!!! bet he doesnt even know anyone that has ever gone. I personally feel that he is threatened and scared of the fact that I need someone other than him. I say go anyway. Can you go on your lunch hour during work?

love to all,

angela

surfinsupermom

P.S.: Good Luck tonight. Let us know how your conversation goes.

angela

MootPoint

Tazzy......... grrrrrrrrrr re husband! I'm glad you found this board here! I'd still suggest you post in Al Anon cuz they'll help re how you deal with/feel about your husband. They're pretty cool.

Well, post here as much as you want, surf the boards, hang out. If you want to talk to someone and there isn't a meeting going on, pm them and ask! I'm always available for a chat and I'm online wierd hours Heck, for that matter, check out an online meeting (times are listed in a seperate forum..... i run sat nights )

This site has done wonderful things for me!

Supermom
Boy I'm glad I have a supportive s/o who sez AA is good for me!

I say to you the same things I said to Tazzy. Welcome!

---------I'll bet yer right!