1 Year!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 79
1 Year!!
Wow I can't believe I have made it a whole year without a drink. Early days were tough and I still come here a lot and read all your posts. I was in and out of AA for almost 3 years trying to stop drinking which included 5 detoxes and a 4 month rehab... All of which I drank after.
I woke up after a week into another relapse, drinking cask wine from morning to night remembering the 'good old days' but the party was over and I had to surrender... I did 90 meetings in 90 days, got a sponsor and a home group and set off on my journey... I studied (fitness), i'm now a qualified pt
but work in a different 'more stable' industry, so life is good.
It's been tough but I got here, the only thing i'm having trouble with is my social life... Or lack of it lol. I am a shy kind of nervous guy and I always have been and that's where alcohol REALLY worked as I used to be the life of the party and could talk to anyone. I had the huge ego / low self esteem, even my ex wife would always say I loved myself more than her and she did not trust me with other women but the opposite was true. I avoid just about all family bbq's and birthdays. Meeting women scares the crap out of me, I joined a dating site have a great profile and pics yet I cant' even get enough courage to call lol. I just can't socialize like a 'normal' person and I really want to. I even get nervous trying to hold conversations in aa
. I'm 31 fit and healthy and I should be out meeting new people and enjoying life sober but I can't. I go to the gym, cycle and work and that's it, my weekends usually consist of nothing lol... Which is sometimes good.
Anyway i'd like to thank everyone here for helping me, I have read so many inspiring posts here...
Bring on year number 2...
Cheers
I woke up after a week into another relapse, drinking cask wine from morning to night remembering the 'good old days' but the party was over and I had to surrender... I did 90 meetings in 90 days, got a sponsor and a home group and set off on my journey... I studied (fitness), i'm now a qualified pt
but work in a different 'more stable' industry, so life is good.It's been tough but I got here, the only thing i'm having trouble with is my social life... Or lack of it lol. I am a shy kind of nervous guy and I always have been and that's where alcohol REALLY worked as I used to be the life of the party and could talk to anyone. I had the huge ego / low self esteem, even my ex wife would always say I loved myself more than her and she did not trust me with other women but the opposite was true. I avoid just about all family bbq's and birthdays. Meeting women scares the crap out of me, I joined a dating site have a great profile and pics yet I cant' even get enough courage to call lol. I just can't socialize like a 'normal' person and I really want to. I even get nervous trying to hold conversations in aa
. I'm 31 fit and healthy and I should be out meeting new people and enjoying life sober but I can't. I go to the gym, cycle and work and that's it, my weekends usually consist of nothing lol... Which is sometimes good.Anyway i'd like to thank everyone here for helping me, I have read so many inspiring posts here...
Bring on year number 2
...Cheers
Congrats and Happy Birthday!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 239
Congrats on one year, that is awesome!
As your confidence builds (shy guy here who has been in the same boat as you socially), you will thrive off of your ability to exist without the help of drinking. I keep telling myself THAT is normal.
Toss
As your confidence builds (shy guy here who has been in the same boat as you socially), you will thrive off of your ability to exist without the help of drinking. I keep telling myself THAT is normal.
Toss
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Congrats! 
Try finding an activity where you are likely to meet single girls your age. Less pressure to engage in conversation that way. You can get to know someone in a non-dating scenario first. A church young adult group or volunteer work at a cat shelter are a couple of possibilities. Meetup groups too.
Try finding an activity where you are likely to meet single girls your age. Less pressure to engage in conversation that way. You can get to know someone in a non-dating scenario first. A church young adult group or volunteer work at a cat shelter are a couple of possibilities. Meetup groups too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Congrats thats awesome!. I have a lot of the same exact social issues you do. In my second year i got a little bit better about it but honestly while i'm a little less on the edge in those situations i just avoid them because I feel like socializing with new people is a waste of my time. I get burned to often sick of making friends and loosing friends that I dont bother trying anymore. I'm learning to be happy alone without friends. But i've also manage to meet a few online friends and thats helped. Tho In the real world I honestly dont have any friends left.
My wife trys to get me to meet new people. I stick my neck out but it generally just doesnt work out for one reason or another the last good friend i had she actually sort of pushed the friendship it was great then it fell apart.
But I do think I socialize better i've come out of my shell more. going out to various places with the family is actually starting to be fun now. it wasnt fun ever for a very long time.
Point is year 2 you'll see some of that socializing stuff get easier etc.. I couldnt promise you tons of friends and that you'd be the life of the party but it wont be as difficult.
My wife trys to get me to meet new people. I stick my neck out but it generally just doesnt work out for one reason or another the last good friend i had she actually sort of pushed the friendship it was great then it fell apart.
But I do think I socialize better i've come out of my shell more. going out to various places with the family is actually starting to be fun now. it wasnt fun ever for a very long time.
Point is year 2 you'll see some of that socializing stuff get easier etc.. I couldnt promise you tons of friends and that you'd be the life of the party but it wont be as difficult.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Congrats!
You spoke of alcohol helping you fit into social situations. One thing I always find ironic about alcohol for me was when I first starting drinking it seemed to help me get through social situations without seeming like the total freak I felt like but as the years went by and the alcohol took a bigger hold on me it turned on me and instead of helping me fit into social situations it turned me into the outsider or fool of the party because of the fact that I would drink to the point of blackouts and make a fool of myself. I would wake up feeling humiliated and ashamed, afraid to face the very people I so desperately wanted to fit in with. It became a vicious circle until I just decided it was easier to drink alone at least then I would not embarrass myself in front of anyone other than my children. It is ironic that the very thing that once helped me fit into social situations is the very thing that drove me into isolation.
Anyway, congrats on 1 year. That is a huge milestone.
You spoke of alcohol helping you fit into social situations. One thing I always find ironic about alcohol for me was when I first starting drinking it seemed to help me get through social situations without seeming like the total freak I felt like but as the years went by and the alcohol took a bigger hold on me it turned on me and instead of helping me fit into social situations it turned me into the outsider or fool of the party because of the fact that I would drink to the point of blackouts and make a fool of myself. I would wake up feeling humiliated and ashamed, afraid to face the very people I so desperately wanted to fit in with. It became a vicious circle until I just decided it was easier to drink alone at least then I would not embarrass myself in front of anyone other than my children. It is ironic that the very thing that once helped me fit into social situations is the very thing that drove me into isolation.
Anyway, congrats on 1 year. That is a huge milestone.
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