Notices

So alone, so much pain

Old 07-24-2013, 04:31 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hope
Posts: 39
So alone, so much pain

Rage,anger,fear and resentment....................so hurt, so confused, for so long. How long can I do this. I do not crave a drink........yet
Tom
Tom1949 is offline  
Old 07-24-2013, 04:40 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
A simple guy making his way
 
Weasel1966's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Tom.... Your pain comes through the screen. How long? As long as it takes.

I have been reading your threads since you first posted. I am trying to stay sober in a long term relashiship. Trying to divide my efforts between that and myself makes me a bit angry and nuts. It's just not easy. A house divided cannot stand. Simple concept.

Take time just for you.
Weasel1966 is offline  
Old 07-24-2013, 04:58 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Hi Tom. I don't know what your doing to recover, I'm an advocate of AA as it's worked for millions IF we work it. That said I'll say recovery is not the same for all and depends how much damage was done to the innards including our mental processor the brain. For recovery and being comfortable in our skin we need to explore and fix the reasons, besides I like it, we drank, the sooner the better. Here are a FEW:
•Get a break from their daily routine.

•De-stress from school or work.

•Reward themselves.

•Feel less inhibited in social situations.

•Fit in with others that are drinking.

•Express feelings that are difficult to express when they are sober.

•Suppress painful feelings such as shame, anger, sadness or loneliness.

BE WELL
visch1 is offline  
Old 07-24-2013, 06:36 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hope
Posts: 39
Thanks weasel I learn from other peoples experiences. If all I needed was slogan and preachers I would not need meetings. Somehow two drunks talking about their own feelings helps me stay sober.
Tom
Tom1949 is offline  
Old 07-24-2013, 07:05 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mark75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by Tom1949 View Post
Thanks weasel I learn from other peoples experiences. If all I needed was slogan and preachers I would not need meetings. Somehow two drunks talking about their own feelings helps me stay sober.
Tom
LOL...

You know nothing about AA, that much is clear. But good news!!!!! AA was FOUNDED on the idea of two drunks helping each other stay sober... I mean... It is the very BASIS of the program... It's very ESSENCE.

Never saw a preacher at an AA meeting, unless he or she was in a seat next to me... Slogans, eh, sometimes they are meaningless, or worse, until they aren't.

AA is there if you want it. Call your local hotline. I hate to see people suffer, but you gotta help yourself.
Mark75 is offline  
Old 07-24-2013, 07:19 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mark75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
I just looked at your profile, pardon me for my previous post, though I will leave it stand. You ARE reading the big book and have been to AA.

Have you a sponsor? Working the steps? Have you been talking to other alcoholics? If so and it isn't helping, are you getting outside help?

Do the work and get better. You have obviously done a lot of things right in your life, now you have the opportunity to do another one or two.

Mark75 is offline  
Old 07-24-2013, 07:59 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 513
Be unabashedly who you are. Maybe that's the natural narcotic experience we're looking for. I don't know. That's one thought from my latest period of resentment. I think the depressive cycles are getting shorter...
davaidavai is offline  
Old 07-24-2013, 08:05 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
wellwisher's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
Tom - I know exactly how you feel. I remember that I felt like my mind was tied into a big knot; all balled up. I understood that I needed to unravel it, but had no idea how to approach it - especially when I spent decades in that mindset. I was a creature of habit in action and thought.

I went to detox, in-patient rehab, aftercare/counseling and AA, and was amazed by the easy clarity I had in seeing solutions for others, yet stumbled on my own solutions early on. It was when I switched the focus from what others were thinking and doing to what I was doing, and what part I played in my own path in life that the gears seemed to switch for me.

I had some rotten things happen to me in my life up until then -some I had no responsibility for, and others I was completely responsible for. On some level, I think at the time I accepted that I wasn't worth saving. So much shame, so much anger, so many resentments, and it was killing me. Yet at the same time, I felt like I was screaming that I did deserve happiness, a feeling of connection, that I did belong - if that makes any sense. A complete conundrum. It was in working with others who understood and through hashing it out, combined with devoted actions related to change, that got me out of the hole. I changed everything; and my mind began to change. I became grateful for the people I encountered in my life, grateful for the events that helped me shine a light on the darkness, and eventually my feelings of despair shifted to hope. I had to add light to my circumstances - even if it was only in thought.

Above all, I had to accept that drinking alcohol was not going to change anything - booze was not an option; and never would be again.

If I had to describe how I got out of it when I quit drinking 19 years ago, I would say my mind was like a frozen set of gears - the biggest cog being in the center. I worked on the smaller gears to the outside, and once freed, would move on to the next, until that big cog in the center became free. It takes time, dedication and most importantly, the belief that we deserve a content life. You do deserve that.

Hang in there and keep working it. and be fearless. You can do it
wellwisher is offline  
Old 07-24-2013, 08:21 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mark75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Nicely put wellwisher, that gear analogy, I am gonna remember that. I like it better than the onion, LOL
Mark75 is offline  
Old 07-25-2013, 02:03 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
karate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
AA is group therapy ,And yes it works great ,to vent ,let off steam ,ect
karate is offline  
Old 07-25-2013, 02:31 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hope
Posts: 39
karate

is that international yours I live in the sticks too
Tom1949 is offline  
Old 07-25-2013, 03:37 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
karate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
Originally Posted by Tom1949 View Post
is that international yours I live in the sticks too

Actually ours are a little newer than that one ,That tractor is one i fixed for a friend ,his grandad farmed ,sold it then they got it back ,I fixed it and his grandad died ,shortly after that .


Did that summer of 2012 ,when wife and i seperated ,and i started back drinking ,after a long while without a single beer .

Got a list of books i read that helped ,id share with you if you want .

Ill post some links if you are intrested .

ILL help you any way i can ,Because i have BEEN THROUGH HELL TOO .
karate is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:13 AM.