Frisky

I know, I know. It's been asked a million times before, but I was hoping that maybe somebody could suggest some ideas I have never thought of. I know I'm not the only one with this problem either.

Facts:

I am, ummmm, I dunno(!), 18 months sober from alcohol (I really did stop counting), and will not go to pubs. They smell yucky!

I live in a town of about 30k people and do not drive.

I suffer from anxiety, although this has made a significant improvement recently and I am more comfortable on public transport than I was.

I volunteer one day a week advising people on whatever they want advising on, and love it!

I have become somewhat lazy and often don't want to reply to the internet friends I have.

I heart crafts, love sewing (I have a million new skirts that are begging to be taken out and shown off), watch too much TV and read too much Agatha Christie. Oh and I am curious and nosy about pretty much everything.

And I live in the UK.

Oh yes, and I am poor lol.

Any ideas happily considered. I'm frustrated searching the internet and would prefer that I didn't throw the monitor out of the window because I have found yet another site which sounds great...but wants money.

As it's 3am I am heading to bed, but I know I will get up tomorrow and see a ton of new and exciting prospects :p No really I am feeling depressed about it, but it's good that I want to get out my rut.

Love and hugs to all, have a good night and I will pop my head in tomorrow xxx

Drunkmidget

Wow ... you got me thinkin. Something I am gonna have to do also ...

1. Maybe try some hobby groups ...

2. Church for the religous ....

Dave H

Do not go to clubs, bars, anywhere where alcohol is served. Do not "flirt" with your addition. Attend meetings. Yes, even if you are 18 months. You will more than likely be able to help others. You will find new friends by doing so. Take up other interests. I have friends in the gym where I train who have nothing to do with alcohol or drugs. I have friends I have found through meetings, I ride a Harley, so I joined H.O.G. Motorcycle Club and found riding friends who do not drink.

My point is, you cannot live with your head in the sand. Join a club, a church, take up a hobby, something. There is a whole world out there of people who do not drink or do drugs.

But remember this, don't hang with users/drinkers or you will relapse. And, to get friends, you must show yourself friendly.

Good luck to you.









i

davaidavai

I wish I knew. I care less and less. Maybe instead of thinking about adding things, subtract things. Stop watching TV. I know for a fact I spend the majority of my leasure time streaming movies. Find one semi-social thing you know you would like and do it. For me, it's squash. Why the hell haven't I figured that out yet? Thanks for helping!

Isaiah

I think a good start for a good chance would be to go browse around libraries, bookshops, craft stores, sewing stores, etc. You don't buy anything, just pretend.

While you're doing that, make eye contact and say hi with could-be-friends. Someone might ask you a question or say something to you. Or you might find the same for them. A conversation might start. Don't let them leave without asking their name.

teardrop

this is interesting , i only have one friend, at leaset me and my friend both like old cars, ive totally forgotten how to mix with people, unless im p!ssed, and then i tend to quickly p!ss them off

Sugah

How about AA?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

regeneration

hello, if you go to meetup.com there will be things like sewing and craft groups. Search from your postcode, it depends how far you are from major towns on what is nearby/choice.

You would meet people in AA, but I appreciate that's not for everyone. If you do go, I'm assuming you're a woman, may be worth seeing if there are any women AA groups as well.

teardrop

they are all weird, its not the best place for a agnostic to go

visch1

Fine and accurate internet info from the mouth of intelligence and experience. I wonder why it's worked worldwide for millions. Usually those that are having a difficult time and consult active alcoholics have a negative view. I'm sorry as views differ and those with alcohol possibly still in the system still have an opinion. BE WELL

teardrop

ive not got alcohol in my system

yes aa has worked worldwide for millions

but also aa hasnt worked worlwide for millions too

ive personally seen people stand up and walk out as soon as god is mentioned

ive also seen long term sober people frighten new comers off

maybe its just the aa groups ive been to in my area in the uk

but aa doesnt work for everyone and people with alcohol problems can stop drinking with out aa

there are a lot of unwell/sick people in aa, just because theyve not drank doesnt mean they are well

visch1

"but also aa hasnt worked worlwide for millions too"

Perhaps BECAUSE THEY don't work it?
Try to remember that alcoholics in general are undisciplined ego maniacs with little reasonable reasoning power especially after long term heavy drinking. Also a light drinker consumes about the equivalent of around 2 beers a month, which certainly wasn't me. BE WELL

teardrop

tell me why does everyone that goes to aa, think its the only way to get sober

theres more than one way to skin a cat

or more simply theres more than one way to cook your chips

fry
oven
microwave
grill

not only aa, theres no right or wrong here, but why do i feel you are trying to be superior to me??

we both only have today to stay sober? yes?

then we are equal, but with different ways of approaching sobriety

Volstead

The smugness and the more-spiritually-fit-than-thou attitudes i encountered at AA meetings is why I shall not return. At one particular meeting I heard a fellow drone on and on about the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Principles and it's relationship to the Twelve Tribes referred to in the Bible. A newcomer spoke up and questioned
"Huh, what are you talking about???"
to which the the ridiculous orator shouted
"Read the Bible!"

the newcomer was taken aback and said
"Dude, I went to Hebrew school"
the obviously irritated old-timer retorted
"That doesn't count!"

I found it so appalling I began to laugh out loud. Realizing I was laughing alone, I promptly got up and walked out.

Noted, all groups are different and have different individuals I may be premature in saying that I won't return.

tarebear29

go to an aa meeting! Its an amazing group of people who are all unconditionally supportive. Even if you don't want to go through the steps, you'll at least meet new people who you already have one thing in common with- a desire to stop drinking!!! And if that doesn't seem appealing to you.. take your favorite Agatha Christie book to the local park or library- and find someone who is reading alone- and sit next to them!!! who knows? it may be your new best friend!! ENjoy! and good luck

wellwisher

Hi Frisky:

Sorry your thread has devolved into an AA vs. other recovery methods discussion.

I see you volunteer one day a week and love it That worked for me, too. Have you considered doing another volunteer stint somewhere else?

I found that when we do what we love and have a passion for it, we attract quite a few like-minded people into our lives.

tarebear29

Can I just take a second to say that there is a lot of negativity on this thread- and its not very polite. Frisky was asking for a place where they can go to meet new people. Because she listed "18 months sober" first before her interests, many of us suggested going to AA meetings simply so she could meet people who share a common want in life. Frisky did not ask for people to bash other people's ideas! That isn't very respectful.

Frisky- I am sorry if you felt pressured by the responses to go to meetings, but you should only go if YOU want to. While they are a great place to meet new people (granted you have to test out a few locations to find a good meeting) they are most certainly not for everyone. This is why I also considered your other interests (aka reading) and suggested connecting with people through that. I too LOVE to read, not so much Christie, but if you ever wanted to discuss books with me, please message me! I love to share thoughts on books with others.

Have a great day and I apologize for the way this thread turned out.

Climber122

Drinking is but a symptom of the disease of alcoholism. We are actually pretty bad at dealing with life. We tend to be all or nothing people - it's a defining characteristic. Find good sobriety and you will also find love, tolerance and empathy. For me it took AA to get there, and I thought they were all nuts too at first. But perhaps you will find another way. Just keep in mind you could be dead wrong, too.

As far as boredom, you may be bored and lonely because without drinking you are missing your coping mechanism, your friend, and your fix-all. But not drinking is just the first step. There is MUCH more out there and I honestly hope you seek it out

Frisky

Lol, I did get distracted by the AA bit. I am an agnostic so AA is out. A shame really because religious groups are the only way in in my area. Now if I had a theology group, that would be a different matter...Ooooooh Egyptology!

The library idea struck home. I remember getting cornered in there when I was in early recovery and they were asking for volunteers for this that and the other. There was also a reading group, which is likely to have gone kaput now, but it's worth a snout about. I'd plain forgotten about it. I think I'll shoot them an email now.

I was thinking about WI (Women's Institute) but it's a last option really. I might love it but I don't know.

I've searched my butt off for groups and the only one I can find is a re-upholstery class, but it clashes with my volunteer work. What are the chances?!

I think the main problem is my town has gone into decline. Ex mining town with high unemployment, no resources and few shops. Maybe I actually have to be proactive and set something up for people...Library it is. Maybe contact the doctors too.

Frisky

Edit (actually too slow to edit :P): Just sent an email to the library. Here's hoping

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. Everything is really and truly appreciated, even the ones which are nos for me, because they might be yeses for somebody else! xxx