fini

For me dying from WD or DT was a better option comparing to admitting my alcoholism to friends and family.

yikes!
it's tough, isn't it, when things are so skewed with family that the image to be maintained is more important than anything else.

lots of stuff to grapple with there.

keep going, and let us know how you're doing.

marinalep

Agreg16, I do understand the hiding part. I have a big house and even though I tried to clean up all my usual hiding spots, I'm still finding plastic cups in most unexpected places. I'm sure happy they're all empty!

Thank you for offering being my buddy, please message me if you need support too.

Trent333, yes, I do admit I'm an alcoholic, I realized it over 2 years ago , I work in a hospital and see a lot of my kind 10-15 years down the road so I wasn't fooling myself.

As for telling husband... I don't know. We're not close at all. He has severe ADD with really bad temper outbursts so even if he accepts my disease there's a great chance of him throwing it back at me during one of his tantrums his temper is one of the reasons I was going for a drink and I don't expect he'll support me.

Robgt350, you're not the one self-medicating with alcohol, I too had a very traumatic event and it was very private, I couldn't tell anybody at all so I started drowning my grief in vodka.

I am too not AA material at all, I'm agnostic and just can't see how 12 steps might work for a non-religious person. I found a group for women in my city but haven't been there.

I tried some private counselling but it didn't work for me either - being an introvert is not helping to open up in front of anybody.

As for type A... well, I'm rather type B I think. Not ambitious, not career-driven. But I'm not a quitter, if something doesn't work right away I will try to find a way to make it work eventually. I'm hoping to stay quit for good.

Volstead, thank you for sharing your story with me! It's amazing what we did just to get our hands on that "precious" drink! I'm so glad your liver is back to normal and hoping mine will be too.

Fini, my family is special yes, every family is
I'm the only child of highly ambitious and successful parents and I always felt I wasn't "good" enough for them, almost to the pint of disappointment.

Two years ago I tried admitting to my mom that I was drinking too much and she was so shocked! It was my cry for help but it wasn't heard. I had to lie to her later that I stopped drinking just to get her to look at me the way she used to.

I am very grateful to everybody for your support, it makes everything so much easier.

End of day 7 and staying strong!!!!!

EndGameNYC

Interesting slip.

Lots of folks use AA for support in recovery who don't believe in God and/or don't consider themselves to be spiritual. There are even AA meetings for atheists and agnostics.

No one demands that you believe in God. What many find helpful is to be open to the idea that there is a force in the universe that is greater than we are.

AA aside, there are other supports available such as SMART and Rational Recovery, among many others. Happy to hear you're still going strong, and hope you find your way.