Summer of Firsts and Mixed Emotions
Recognizes the Beast
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Summer of Firsts and Mixed Emotions
Just wanted to throw this out there as I came across a bit of an unexpected situation a few days ago.
The summer is generally going quite well. Doing lots of things sober for the first time, camping, football games, etc. However went over to a friends for a BBQ a few nights ago and of course was offered numerous alcoholic beverages. I asked for a coke, and my friend said "Rum and Coke?". I finally had to say "Something non-alcoholic please."
I went through the night without drinking fine. But here's the thing. Instead of feeling proud of myself for saying no to drinks, I felt ashamed and like a loser. It was kinda like I was revealing myself to be an alcoholic to them. Or at least that's what I felt.
Anyways, was wondering if anybody else has had similar emotions in similar situations.
The summer is generally going quite well. Doing lots of things sober for the first time, camping, football games, etc. However went over to a friends for a BBQ a few nights ago and of course was offered numerous alcoholic beverages. I asked for a coke, and my friend said "Rum and Coke?". I finally had to say "Something non-alcoholic please."
I went through the night without drinking fine. But here's the thing. Instead of feeling proud of myself for saying no to drinks, I felt ashamed and like a loser. It was kinda like I was revealing myself to be an alcoholic to them. Or at least that's what I felt.
Anyways, was wondering if anybody else has had similar emotions in similar situations.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
I felt the same way too.
If you had a friend that was overweight or smoked, and suddenly they stopped smoking or hit the gym/started eating right, what would your reaction be? I'd be proud of them. For some reason with us alkies, we don't expect similar reactions from our friends when we try a healthier lifestyle.
The only people that care if you are drinking or not is other problem drinkers. When you step away from alcohol it makes them reexamine their own drinking, which is not always comfortable for them. As a reaction some of them will try to pressure you into having a drink. Ignore them or leave, as necessary.
If you had a friend that was overweight or smoked, and suddenly they stopped smoking or hit the gym/started eating right, what would your reaction be? I'd be proud of them. For some reason with us alkies, we don't expect similar reactions from our friends when we try a healthier lifestyle.
The only people that care if you are drinking or not is other problem drinkers. When you step away from alcohol it makes them reexamine their own drinking, which is not always comfortable for them. As a reaction some of them will try to pressure you into having a drink. Ignore them or leave, as necessary.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 59
I haven't exactly figured out how I will handle this. I'm on day 61 right now. My best buddy is (unadmittedly) just as bad an alcoholic as I am. We live in different states but haven't gotten together yet since I quit. I know when he comes to town or we go up to visit he & his family, the issue will come up.
Not sure how I will tell him I quit. Will cross that bridge when I get there. One day at a time...
Praying for you. Hope you would do the same for me. We're all in this together.
Not sure how I will tell him I quit. Will cross that bridge when I get there. One day at a time...
Praying for you. Hope you would do the same for me. We're all in this together.
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