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When Does Being Sober Begin?

Old 07-20-2013, 05:03 AM
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When Does Being Sober Begin?

Hello. I'm currently on day 13 of not drinking and feel great. Your support and encouragement has been amazing; THANK YOU!

My question to the forum is...Is my sober date the last day I drank or the first day I didn't drink? It may not sound like it matters, but I'm wired in a way that likes to have those milestones recorded and, where applicable, CELEBRATED

I appreciate any thoughts you all may have on the matter!
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:06 AM
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There are lots of people here who count either ways.
For me? my first day was the first day I was sober

D
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:06 AM
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I used the first day I didn't drink. I understand because I'm the same way!
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:10 AM
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I had my last drink on the 6th December.....The 7th is my sober date.
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:17 AM
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First day without booze for me
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:18 AM
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Thanks, Dee and Secretary It makes sense to me the way you both do it. Why celebrate the last day I drank? Instead, it makes more sense to celebrate the first day I didn't drink

That said, the number of days I've been reflecting here is the number of days of no alcohol for me: 13 so far, so it remains accurate.

As for what date I'll use, I may, instead, use the date I DECIDED to be sober and made that commitment to myself. Yeah, I think that's the way to go for me

Thank you both for your thoughts and responses. I hope you have a lovely weekend!
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:19 AM
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you too SM

D
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:22 AM
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I use the last day I drank. For a while I felt sort of guilty about that but it makes sense to me.

I went to an AA meeting the night before. I was drunk when I called AA and when I went to the meeting.

I got up early the next day and felt like hell. I drank. But then the clarity I had from the night before hit me. Here I was doing the same thing. I was going back, again. I was going to throw away the gift I got. The clarity was a gift and I was going to drink it away.

I quit drinking. I ate something and went to bed early at four in the afternoon. I have not had a drink since and I have had no desire to drink.

That was the day I quit and that is the day I use as my sobriety date.
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:22 AM
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Thank you, Stevie and BlueBird! I'm using your method. Please see my signature for details
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:26 AM
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GracieLou -

WOW!!! What a story! Thank you for sharing it with me and us!

In your case I can see why the last day you drank makes perfect sense to declare as your sober date. You actually made the decision THAT day to quit. Makes perfect sense. Me? I made the decision a few days later, so I may go with that date. I've still been sober 13 days, but my anniversary will be a few days later

Thanks, GracieLou! I appreciate your message and I appreciate YOU

- c
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:34 AM
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At my stage of life, way past 60, I've forgotten many of my anniversary dates for days or weeks. For me it's one day at a time. Everyone has their own likes. BE WELL
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:42 AM
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Thanks, Visch! I like your approach and plan: one day at a time. I'm glad you're sober and fighting the good fight. Thanks for being an inspiration to the rest of us, especially those like me who just got into the ring.
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:59 AM
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I treat mine like Stevie88 - I consider my sobriety date the first full 24 hrs I didn't drink. In my case, I drank on my way to rehab on a Sunday, so I consider Monday my first day of sobriety.
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Old 07-20-2013, 06:00 AM
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By the grace of God I took my last drink on July 9, 2012. For me that's my sobriety I had many first days of not drinking but so far only one last drink!
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Old 07-20-2013, 06:00 AM
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My sober date is the morning I woke up with my last hangover. I have had many sober dates. This 10 months is 9 months longer than the previous record.
I don't think keeping a tally is important and I used to celebrate mile stones (with a drink). No, I just take it one day at a time now and try to work the steps and put my sobriety at the top of my priorities.
Question Sober Marine. How is the corps with regard to your recovery? Do your mates back you? I was grunt once and trying to quit in the service was near impossible. I was an alcoholic by the time I got out. There was no support from the hierarchy and certainly none of my mates in my platoon were there to encourage sober living. Drinking and getting drunk was very much part of the culture. Used to drink till 3AM, roll call at 0500, parade at 0600 and sometimes go on a route march or straight into PT minging drunk and puking but finish it. *Shudder*. Mark of a man!
I basically ruined a promising career in the Army because of the booze and spent a fair amount of time in the nick for it. Busted down in rank, marched off the parade square in disgrace, beaten up a few times by Warrant Officers and Sergeants, you get the picture. Was fairly common in the 80's.
Would be interested to know if there are AA's in the states that cater for the serving personnel as well as veterans.
Good for you Mate. Marines are tough as nails. Have no doubt you will win this fight.
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Old 07-20-2013, 06:24 AM
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EddieBuckle - Your approach makes perfect sense, and CONGRATULATIONS on remaining sober!!! Thanks for your thoughts and for sharing your account.

TimD - CONGRATULATIONS on your one-year anniversary, and then some! That's awesome! I also appreciate your approach. I am attached to the last day I drank for the same reason as you, so we shall see. Thanks for your thoughts, and congrats on remaining sober. Thanks for being an example to the rest of us!

Johno - Congratulations on remaining sober longer this time than last time. One day at a time is a great approach because we never know if or when we will relapse. The reason a date are so important to me at this point is because days are all I have. I haven't been sober months or years, and this is my first attempt at being sober, so counting the days, and feeling good about each sober day, is my way of hopefully advancing to the next sober day

Regarding the U.S. Marines, I am no longer an active-duty Marine. I served 8 years and left the Marines 11 years ago. That said, I didn't learn to drink in the Marines, but the Marines SURELY encouraged it. They encouraged it because they discourage drug use so much. During my first four years it seems it was officially sanctioned, with company and battalion parties every Friday with keg upon keg of beer. During my 2nd four years it was no longer officially sanctioned, but we were still Marines and didn't need a sanction, haha. I remember a six-month period early on in my service where I was S**T-FACED EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and MORNING, would sober up in the afternoon, eat dinner, take a nap, rinse and repeat FOR SIX MONTHS. How my liver didn't jump out of my body and run for help is beyond me! So, to answer your questions, I drank a LOT whilst in the Marines, never sought help with it, don't know what help exists, but do understand that, especially due to budget cuts (sequestration), they are limiting enlistments and lowering numbers of re-enlistments, so are using ANY reason to prevent people from joining and ANY reason to kick people out, alcohol abuse being one of those reasons.

Thanks for your encouragement, Johno, and congratulations, once again, for being sober!!!
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Old 07-20-2013, 11:37 AM
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the last day I drank was the first day I didn't drink....

yes, I do complicate things!

I finished drinking at 2 am and went to sleep (stuff didn't work, wasn't enough, and nothing was open to get more).

I used that day's date.
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Old 07-20-2013, 12:09 PM
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I used the first day without drinking as my sober date. Yet I didn't consider myself sober until a couple of months after I worked the AA Twelve Steps with my sponsor, about fourteen months into sobriety. There is no official documentation of such things; it's all very subjective.

It's been my experience that when people do the work, then the "time served" and the milestones become insignificant in comparison to just living one's life. It was important for me to chart the days and months in early recovery as an objective means of measuring my progress, e.g, that I could actually stay sober over time. After, say, one year (your mileage may vary), if I'm still complaining about the things I complained about in my first ninety days, it's time to make a change.
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Old 07-20-2013, 01:20 PM
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for me it's the first day i didn't drink.

i checked into a hotel as i couldn't face my family. if i'd had the money, i would have drunk that day. but i didn't have the money so i couldn't drink.

for the first week or so i wa SO angry that i didn't get my 'final drink'. on reflection, it's good that i didn't as i was very, very low and might well have done something i couldn't come back from.
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Old 07-20-2013, 01:25 PM
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SoberMarine, day 13? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. If you know the hour you quit, then 24 hours later would be the 1st day sober. I quit July 9th 2010, and count my 1st day sober as July 10th. Rootin for ya.
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