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For married alcoholics.. Easy way out?

Old 07-18-2013, 08:53 PM
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For married alcoholics.. Easy way out?

I was quite the womanizer before I got married. I have had no problems in our 6 years of even considering cheating on her, literally, the thought has never crossed my mind. The alcohol problem came to a head this last time, and IF I ever drink again, I will lose my family. IF, I ever committed adultery I would lose my family (and new that before we got married).

Once alcohol was placed next to adultery as far as consequences, my decision to never drink again has been the easiest of all my attempts. Using Rational Recovery has really set me free of the beast.

If you love your spouse, and wouldn't EVER cheat on them, throw alcohol in that same bag.. Put it away and you probably won't have to think about it much anymore. Then enjoy your family and life.
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Old 07-19-2013, 06:15 AM
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Have to do it for yourself . -IMO
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Old 07-19-2013, 06:22 AM
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Imreadytoquit...I think along those lines too. Thanks for your post.
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Old 07-19-2013, 06:25 AM
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Originally Posted by ImReadyToQuit View Post
If you love your spouse, and wouldn't EVER cheat on them, throw alcohol in that same bag.. Put it away and you probably won't have to think about it much anymore. Then enjoy your family and life.
I understand the point you are making. But I wasn't addicted to cheating on my wife.
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Old 07-19-2013, 07:29 AM
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For me, it would only work if my wife actually made that ultimatum.
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Old 07-19-2013, 07:30 AM
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Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
For me, it would only work if my wife actually made that ultimatum.
Same here.. She never made that before in our 6 years..

That along with finally realizing that I wasn't just an addict, but my drinking was 0IMMORAL.. That makes it stick.
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Old 07-19-2013, 07:35 AM
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Well I was married twice. I never cheated on either of them nor they on me. I still drank but then so did they.

I think you may want to re-phrase your post to "For my marriage..It was an easy way out"
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Old 07-19-2013, 08:00 AM
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Your analogy makes sense to me.
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Old 07-19-2013, 07:51 PM
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I get what you are saying. Thinking that my husband might leave if I drank definitely helps me stay sober at times. Other times, it's easy to stay sober just because I like being sober. Do whatever works...
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Old 07-19-2013, 09:36 PM
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I guess it could work, unless of course you would cheat and that means you would drink as well. Just sayin...Stugotz
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Old 07-19-2013, 11:23 PM
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Originally Posted by karate View Post
Have to do it for yourself . -IMO
I can only speak for myself. I could not even contemplate stopping my drinking. I played all the games thinking I was in control. After turning 55, something must have clicked in my brain. A little teeny tiny crack , a moment of clarity. I kinda volunteered to my husband, "We'll, if I did go into Rehab...." I could not believe my mouth was saying those words!! Surrending to my higher power/my god actually was easy. The RELIEF I felt in rehab, the first time I said "I'm Bobbi and I'm an alcoholic".
My husband has 7 years sobriety, I have 8 months. We both attend 12 Step Meetings. I never, ever intended to stop drinking. Yet, there I was KNOWING I was done, I was done for me! Both of us being sober....is "priceless". I work my program. My husband works his program. Long way to say... I agree with karate....you quit for yourself. :-D. Bobbi
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Old 07-20-2013, 05:51 AM
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What has kept me from cheating on my wife is - At least when i die and stand before God i can say ,thats one thing i did not do .

The second part is i have a female friend at work ,a really good friend ,When my wife and i were seperated ,She told me " you finish one thing before you start another "

Out of respect for my friend ,i did not stray ,Although we were seperated .
I planned to wait until we were divorced ,But we got back togther .
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