Old 07-21-2013, 08:09 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Toronto,Ontario
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Starting to feel normal again, although guilt and anxiety are with me.... How could I have been so careless about sobriety ? My AV kicked my butt, thankfully I kept it to a handful of drunken nights...
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:34 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Man, sorry you fell, brother. Happy you got back up though.
We're all in this together. One day at a time...
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Old 07-22-2013, 03:29 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Fog has lifted, I am back to feeling normal...
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Old 07-22-2013, 03:53 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Faith and reason
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Hey TG28. Sorry you had to go through that but glad you're back. Instead of beating yourself up about how you could have been so careless, look forward and think about how you can be more careful about your sobriety from this moment on.
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Old 07-22-2013, 04:04 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Hang in there, I too just relapsed after nearly 2 and a half years, we can get back on track though, work was my weakness too, stress, social, etc...

Welcome Back!
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Old 07-22-2013, 07:20 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Hey tg dont beat urself up. I equate sobriety like a lifeboat. Thos of us that are in it are lucky enough not to drown in a sea drunken misery and inevitable death. So big deal you jumped off the boat thinking you could swim out there alone and handle it. Looks like you quickly found out that was not the case. Guess what you just helped every one here. You came back and gave all of us your didn't loose 2 years sobriety. You've been enjoying that the last two years. But what you did gain was wisdom and knowledge about your disease. That is power. That is invaluable. Thankyou for jumping back in the just helped save us all!
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Old 07-23-2013, 03:53 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by TorontoGuy28 View Post
Stress, frustration, fear and anger..... That is how I have been for the past 3 months before relapse.

Work has been by far the biggest stress in my life....

Trying to fit in and be part of the guys group here at the office....
Everything you mention are really good reasons to says my sick alcoholic mind. I relapsed with a few years sober, and in retrospect, the most important thing was my lack of "mindfulness." I lulled myself to sleep in the mistaken belief that all was well. I lost my spiritual fitness through failure to continue practicing my recovery. I let down. This was the real denial for me, and I suppose I'm blessed that my wake up call didn't kill me. I needed to do a much more thorough 4th step to get at the roots of my fear and anger. They are both toxic to my recovery. And then I needed to take action, and I was able to work through this stuff being "fearless and thorough from the very start." Something I hadn't really done in the past. I found out that "half measures availed me nothing."

Sounds to me like you may be at that "turning point" mentioned in chapter 5 of the BB. Trite as this may sound, I believe the answers are in the least they were for me.....but NO half measures!

I'm really happy you survived. Many don't. Inshallah.
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Old 07-26-2013, 04:48 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Over a week sober, feeling good.

However - I was out for lunch with a lady from my office, had time to kill between our next client meeting.. Went into a restaurant, and I could not believe that my AV was telling me "hey - have just one glass of wine or a pint, it will loosen you up for the next client session".. That is INSANE. I crashed it and enjoyed some sparkling water....
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