Anoronha

Yesterday I texted my friend if we were getting together as a group at mc donalds and she said no that we were not because she was sick. Well I went to mc donalds before the meeting to get something to drink just randomly and they were meeting there. It hurt my feelings but I know the kind of person she is and she probably didnt want to hurt my feelings and tell me she wanted to meet alone with just her one friend. Still it hurt my feelings. I made sure they didnt see me I didnt want there to be any awkwardness. Im way too sensitive and i dont know how to change this. In the past i would have drank over it but AA has taught me differently

But i could also hurt her feelings now because she asked me to be on the board of directors because she is starting a depression bipolar support group and I dont want to help out and cant really do it work takes priority and my sobriety next but I already said i would can I get out of this gracefully without hurting someones feelings too badly? What can I say? Going to talk to sponsor about this today meeting her.

karate

Lots of self help books ,one of the best is

"You can be happy no matter what " Carlson

Half price books is where i get my books .

I used to be sensitive too ,Alot of us drunks are ,Alochol numbs out the sensitive part of the brain .

PLEASE LOOK UP THE SELF HELP BOOKS ,THEY HELPED ME 95% !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I have progressed to the point where you can say almost anything to me and my favorite saying is "Water off a ducks back ".

THERE IS HELP I PROMISE YOU THAT !!!!!!!!!!!1


An old friend says "If you are not feeding me ,financing me or F---ing me ,Your opinion does not matter .

lilyrosemary

you have a great attitude. keep up the good work you are doing!

Bubovski

Good stuff!

Don't take it to heart and stick with AA.

i USED TO BE EXTREMELY SENSITIVE; IT CAN HURT.

karate

My Goal here is to help others ,Thats my objective .

In the process ,i hope to learn some as well .

Gottalife

Well, you have a lot on your plate at the moment what with work and recovering from a life threatening disease. I would say you are already fully committed.

Perhaps you could tell your friend that while you would really like to help, and you support what she is doing, you really have too much on at the moment to make a formal, regular commitment. Perhaps you could be willing to do a little support work here and there as time permits, or maybe you could look at it again in a few months when you are feeling more on top of things.

GracieLou

I am glad you did not get upset but IMO your friend was wrong for lying that she was sick. I think honesty would have been best. She could have been honest and said she just wanted to meet another friend one on one. Maybe they had something to discuss personally and there is nothing wrong with that. It sounds if she would have told the truth you would have understood.

If she has been honest then when you ran into them you would not have had to show deception and hide. You could have waved or maybe stopped over for a second and said hi and then gone about your business.

The longer I remain sober not only have I gotten more honest with myself but with others. What seemed like a harmless lie in the past I realize now that I was trying to hide something. There is a reason I was trying to hide something. Maybe I just did not want to hurt others feelings but in many cases I did not want to hurt my own and hiding the true reason I lied did that for me. Not telling the whole story can be just as bad as making one up, at least for me.

It also has become clear to me what actions I am willing to accept in others. My standards were very low. If anyone showed me some attention they were my friend or BF as the case may be. Today I take a little more time to get to know people. I am not judging them. We all have our own plate but if I see that someone is genuine and kind then I may consider them my friend. If I see that someone is a user and liar then I don't associate with them. I don't ignore them or gossip, I just steer clear.

Now maybe I am reading more into your post but this is my experience so far.

Threshold

You looked at the situation and recognized that perhaps one of the women needed a one on one and that is why they said what they did. Maybe it wasn't your friend, but the other woman, and she was protecting her confidentiality.

Likewise, you are seeing that YOU and YOUR recovery will be better protected by not taking on the work as a board member. You would once again be putting reality and the needs of a person in recovery before feelings.

That is mature, honest, wise thinking.

I used to think that I had to take care of everything, never say no, put everyone's projects as priority to show how caring and giving I was. And I failed. I drank myself into uselessness and let everyone down.

So, setting feelings aside and dealing with facts...I set honest and healthy priorities. Putting your own well being at risk to serve on a board for a group that is working towards people's well being...is alcoholic thinking.

Good on you for not letting your hurt feelings (I would have been crying in the parking lot) lead you to making any stupid decisions or as a pass for bad behavior.

karate

I think we try to live up to what everyone "thinks " we should say or do .Its a train wreck

To be quite honest when i really quit worrying about what everyone esle thought ,i started feeling better .

I dont get asked to "Anything " with my coworkers , because i dont fit in ,never did ,never will .

Now working on a diffrent career path ,A professional liscensed ,career ,Im finally around people with an IQ where an intelligent conversation can go on .

Being around better people makes you a better person -imo