jazzfish

This may not be directly related to alcoholism, but it is becoming a huge issue for me. Due to my drinking, my mental skills and work ethic plummeted over the last decade. I went from being a high functioning alcoholic to being a non-functioning alcoholic. For several years, I coasted from job to job based on my formerly good reputation eventually screwing over the last several employers through shoddy work performance (or non-performance). I now find myself in the position of having no recent job references. I am completely at a loss as to how to overcome this situation which is creating a while lot of "what's the point?" towards my sobriety.

Has anyone else ever gone through this? How did you make it through sober and how did you get back on track?

Boleo

Seen it. Done that. Been to rehab. Got the dead man's T-shirt (along with the rest of his used underware).

I was on the top of the IT tech support game for over a decade. Then the hangovers and DT's started interfering with my job performance. I went from large reputable employers to fly-by-night company's. By the time I got a sober lifestyle, most of my skills were obsolete.

I ended up as a caregiver to old and handicapped people at about one third the pay & benefits. The new benefit is - I am being of service to others. I suspect that is a big part of what now keeps me sober.

Carlotta

I have not drank myself out of anything but I wanted to pitch in with Boleo. I chose a career of service to others (or rather it chose me LOL) and even though I have a college degree, I make a pittance. Some people think I am nuts but there is something absolutely rewarding to working with others and it keeps me in an attitude of gratitude.
Yes sometimes there are things I'd like and that I cannot afford but on another hand the benefits I reap are not quantifiable.
Since you are not currently employed Jazzfish, why don't you try using your professional skills to volunteer?

madman68

I certainly drank myself out of a job, at least. It only took 3 years of constant drinking to fall from being the blue-eyed boy who could do no wrong to being persona non grata! So I went back to a previous employer, doing completely different work. I found that going to AA meetings was encouraging too.
Not working now though- I found that I don't really care about money that much- my free time and learning is more important to me now.

bigsombrero

"What's the point?" - well, you are alive, so that is one point. I drank myself into a hospital more than once, and who knows where I'd be right now if I didn't quit when I did. I think you can agree that is one good point!

As for the rest of it, wow, the similarities are almost eerie. The way you describe your job status as being tied to former performance, the eventual crash, and current quagmire is pretty close to my situation.

Maybe you start looking for jobs where those references don't matter. Have you tried that? Some skills transfer pretty well. The 9-to-5 business world is actually not that hard, as long as you know how to use a PC. Show up, press some buttons, and play a pretend game of "watch me work" is pretty much all there is to it. But seriously, what about changing your approach to start fresh? Something like the National Park Service or something like that? What about teaching or something? These are only meant as "outside the box" examples, not suggestions.

I would recommend setting achievable professional goals for yourself, and try not to put yourself under too much pressure. I am not saying go work at McDonald's or anything, but perhaps it's time to start at the bottom as a new fish in a new pond. At this point I am hoping that is where I will end up, as I have to face the reality that I will not be playing ball at an executive level again for a long time.

sobersovereign

This is my story, too. I started grad school at the top of my graduating class, with stacks of accolades and awards, and have just pissed them all away and squandered opportunity after opportunity and alienated references (and lost a lot of friends). Agree with everyone here that a life of service, no matter what form that takes, is key to feeling valuable and like a real participant in your own life--not trying to recreate the "golden" circumstances that probably in some way contributed to your current situation. I am still not sure what form that is going to take for me but I am doing my best to approach the opportunity to create a new life for myself with creativity and excitement.

Vandermast

I drank my self to the bottom of my profession

robgt350

i am the same way. great Post!.
i care for others also. and hearing their sad stories about drugs and alcohol and their loses gave me so much strength on quitting. i did not want to loose all i have prepared for, studied for, and worked, for a single drop of alcohol now.
i never lost anything major to drinking. only my will power when it comes to alcohol. but i got it back

Threshold

I drank and drugged myself out of two careers.

I worked with teens for part of my jobs and my behavior while drinking and drugging lowered my inhibitions. I found myself flirting with the young men, talking "sh&t" with them about bands, etc etc. Totally inappropriate and could have ended up in serious hot water. I saw the writing on the wall and quit before I totally F'd up my reputation or got accused of something.

Not pretty, but it's the honest truth.

I took jobs that allowed me to keep drinking and using but didn't put that added temptation in front of me.

Now I am sober and clueless. I've had jobs. Hourly pay, not mentally demanding. I am clueless about my future. Still getting used to the idea of having one, and still asking myself honestly how hard I am willing to work, what do I really want to have in my life, are any of the old things worth replacing, etc etc.

I am still having a hard time with the word "should"...I feel like I should do this or that (regarding work)...but is it like I should because of some societal or family ideal...or should as in I am not being responsible if I don't...etc etc.

I've often done stuff out of misplaced guilt, fear or sense that I was responsible for things and people I was not actually responsible to...so this is the hardest thing for me now...

Am I a loser without a job, or a wise person putting recovery first?

jkb

I flat out lost my career over drinking. I worked for DOC when I got my DUI. I have a good "job" now that I am about to quit (after 6 years) for personal reasons but, as to my "career" and my "degrees" I don't know that I can do much to repair that damage.

This is one of my biggest regrets.

MeSoSober

I think for many, if not most of us, a job can be instrumental to recovery. It fills your time, gives you a sense of worth and productivity, gives you something to lose if you don't stay clean and sober.

I drank myself out of not one, but two, good full-time "white collar" jobs in a little over a year. That's probably something I should repeat to myself every single day whenever I feel complacency creep in (I passed the 100-days-sober mark on Monday).

I certainly hope I haven't drunk myself out of a career, but jobs? Yup.

I submitted what I thought was a really strong application package for a position a little over a month ago and haven't heard anything. Have to wonder if it's because of my employment gap (alcohol related) or the fact that I only had a little over a year at my last job before I lost it (alcohol related). Submitted an application for a great federal government job last week that, if I get it, would be paying me far, far more than I've ever earned before. Talk about a phoenix from the ashes. Another thing I tell myself is that I deserve a third chance if I stay sober. If I drink, not only will I be unlikely to get that chance, I won't deserve it.

I know that I am damn sure not willing to give up on myself or my career at this point.

ippochick

i drank myself out of a high-powered position into an affair (someone high up in the company), out of a job and straight into the psych ward.

no going back for me. i'm actually much happier now, (still married, still not working) but still not fixed. i am sober though - 31 days today.

wiscsober

I lost a military career due to alcoholism...but was able to find the same work as a civilian.

LadyBlue0527

I sent an email during a blackout to the Pres and VP of the company (small company, both good friends of mine). Under normal circumstances I probably would have had my first write up ever in six years of being with this company. I took them from 4 to over 60 clients. Never had an HR issue, never out sick, they fought with me to actually use my vacation time. It just so happened that there was an ulterior motive and they used what I did to fire me.

Don't get me wrong, I own this. Had I never sent the email I'd still be there. However, had the circumstance that was present not there I would also still be there.

However, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the job that I have today. Just sucks that it's $20K less a year.

Still, had it not been for alcohol I would be making $20K more per year than I make.

FeenixxRising

I would agree. I know this is true for me. I need structure and responsibility, a job (any job) gives me a sense of well-being and self-worth and keeps my mind focused on the right things.

TheEnd

I almost drank and drugged myself out of a job, but I was able to stop before things drastically took a turn for the worse. Three years ago I got hit with my second DUI, which put me on thin ice with my job. When you work in education, those types are things are frowned upon. Luckily for me, they didn't know about my first DUI or I would have been out of there and possible future positions as well. They made it explicitly clear that this type of thing could never happen again and I never forget that.

This is a link to a thread I started when I was going through that predicament. By reading this, I can almost take myself back to that day of sitting in the chair and feeling those hopeless feelings. It's a place I never wish to visit again.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...one-waste.html

Even though I haven't ruined my career, I have definitely made things more difficult. Now I am in the process of applying to be licensed therapist, which means I have to explain the DUI and the rehab thing. Something I wouldn't have to go through if I didn't have this blemish on my record. Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying a scarlet letter, but I use it to remind myself where I have come from and what I stand to lose.

Now I have the job I was always waiting for and I'm working diligently on my Ph.D. If continue to stay sober, my life is full of possibilities. Pick up a drink or a drug and all bets are off.

caboblanco

I worked with someone that got disbarred from practicing law because he was showing up drunk on the job. He worked with me in Home Depot years ago and he would bring little bottles of vodka and a thermos of irish coffee to work. He went from being a lawyer to making 9 bucks an hour.

Wastinglife

Hi Jazzfish,
I drank my way out my career too. I got a great job in finance when I graduated from college. I was there for 6 years when I resigned before they could fire me. Towards the end, I was consistently late and my work performance was terrible due to my drinking. I spent the next 5 years bouncing from job to job and I am in the same boat as you.

I have stopped drinking, but I don't have a single decent job reference to account for the last 5 years. I fear that I am gonna be stuck in menial jobs the rest of my life...

Vandermast

yeah i got despondant over it until it became apparent to me how lucky i am 2 b alive

newman23

Worked at a temp job years back doing factory work. One day, before I went in, I figured "eh, two beers couldn't hurt". I bought two 24oz bottles of St Ides and drank them. It went from that to me driving to the liquor store for a pint of vodka on my way to work. I went out on breaks to sip it in my car, and blacked out. Apparently, I was told I was going through peoples lockers and was fired/asked to leave on the spot. Not sure if they could detect that I was drinking but I drove home which I have no clue how I managed to do that without anything bad happening.

My last job, alcohol during work wasn't the issue. What was an issue though was a night after drinking my mind would be so sluggish I wouldn't really be able to stay focused or be productive.Weird seeing as when I started the position, I was still drinking and this wasn't really happening. I did well and excelled. Over time, this sluggishness and cloudiness of my mind became more and more of an issue.The "morning after" effect just increased with intensity in general. When i started the position, I could easily binge at night on 3-4 cans of four loko and be to work the next morning at 8am. Eventually, doing that, I would be lucky to even be able to get out of bed by noon.