Bluebird1927

Fuming with myself. Family engagement party, started on water had a pint bought for me and boom, down it went. Left not long after, the thirst got hold but I managed to resist. Helped that my missus was tired and told me to come to bed. Angry but it's taught me a valuable lesson, the way my body craved more and more booze after that one pint scared me. Wanted to get it off my chest. I'm back that's the main thing. Thank you

Hevyn

...but you learned something Bluebird. Those little lessons add up to stopping for good. I had to mess up a few times before I got strong. Glad it didn't lead you to a lengthy binge - and you are back to tell the tale.

deeker

Admire ur Honesty!

Bluebird1927

Yeah I definitely learned something thank you. I have to be honest, if there's anywhere I don't have to hide my drinking it's here. Was thinking of ignoring it and keeping my 16 days but I know a drink is a drink. I willingly drank so back to day one

RumHound

Day one is OK, B1927. You're in recovery where you need to be.

You don't have to drink today.

Thanks for sharing with honesty.

aw58

ok turn it around you have had one pint in 16 days, some people would say that's great I know for us its disappointing but your back on track that's the main thing , well done for only having one !

Bluebird1927

Thanks Rumhound and Aw. Good points.

dancook99

The most important thing is you know for sure you cant just have one, and that will be solid motivation to push on from here.

Nuudawn

It just went down...boom? No thought...just boom? So no boom no more? Sorry..bein a bit silly but just wondered if the slip was just completely thoughtless...no lead up? No point before...boom..you could have stopped yourself? Just curious.

Glad you're back nevertheless.

Justfor1

Progress was still made. You just need to see it.

Bluebird1927

Plenty of times I could have stopped, plenty of talking to myself, plenty of the usual shite going on in my head.

Thanks, first place I came was on here

Nuudawn

I have finally realized that my Code Yellow moment is the moment I "entertain" the thought that I can have a drink. My addiction is in control at the moment and I am drowning.....

That's why I asked.

Pamel

You are right: that is the main thing. The trick is doing it one day at a time. Good for you coming back to SR right away!

Bluebird1927

Yeah, I think I need to upgrade the entertaining of the idea to a code red ha ha.

Nuudawn

Sorry Bluebird...I certainly didn't mean my response to come across "holier than thou" in ANY way. It was only recently that I realized that the moments before the drinking were so very, very, very important. I guess I wanted to share that.

I in no way wanted to discourage you. You posted here...fantastic. So sorry if I came across like I was peeing on your parade....

Bluebird1927

Not at all I appreciate your input. Thank you.

Climber122

We often have to change people, places and things that have been a big part of our drinking when we decide to get sober. I would stay away from pubs, parties and so forth until the obsession with drink lifts. It happens with help from without you... But it does happen. I am still a drunk, but some years later in recovery my wife can keep wine around and I don't obsess on it. If I did start we would have to throw it out. By the Grace of God I'm okay for today on that count. But once that train starts rolling towards a drink, it's good to have someone to call who understands and can help. But best not to "test" yourself. If you're an alcoholic, you already know how it turns out when you rely on yourself to fight it... Holding out works a while, but we usually cave unless we are asking for help.

Bluebird1927

Great post mate. Im steering clear of any alcohol based gathering for a long time yet. I think I get excited by the test but keep on failing. It's way too early Thank you.

Nuudawn

Thank you for clarifying this sentiment for me Climber..."until the obsession with drink lifts". I thought that it was a clear cut directive for early sobriety and it kinda ticked me. I am not obsessed with the drink...but I'm a little concerned about my obsession with sobriety..lol". I have been to pubs. As a matter of fact I was to 3 in the last 23 hours...first I needed WIFI to find a hotel and I enjoyed a delish virgin strawberry marg whilst I enjoyed their WIFI..second was for cheesecake and coffee..it was attached to my hotel and it was late and I dind't feel like driving and lastly, it was to take my dad out for $6.99 steak sandwich (pub deal) for looking after my dog this weekend. He had a pint with his steak and I had soda and lime...

Pubs don't trouble me or being around alcohol. I actually went and bought my dad beer for the weekend before I left since he was house/dog sitting for me ..as well as white bread (blech) and whole milk..none of which I consume.

That being said, I do think there are certain situations..that if they cause me anxiety or unease...like something I don't want to do...and alcohol is nearby..probably not so wise.

Thanks for clarifying that whole thought tho...I thought it was just a blanket rule.

Climber122

Indeed Nu - We often say "the ONLY thing I can't do today is take a drink." We get sober so we can LIVE the free, full lives we can live when not crippled by our disease. I'm in AA but one thing my sponsor reminds me of is that we don't go to meetings so we can create a protective bubble around ourselves. This conscious effort to stay in contact with the Power that keeps us sober enables us to go out into the world free for the day. But in early sobriety, going into a bar is indeed not a great idea. I had a friend who told a story of going to a bar to eat lunch some days. He said he didn't want to drink but just liked looking at the bar and the beauty of all the bottles. That's an addiction for you - one day, with little fight he decided to have a drink. Some years later he died of kidney failure. Our addiction will wait for us to have that one day when we are vulnerable or indifferent, and we have that one. And as we all know, one turns into many and we're off again. I remember wondering if I could ever get through a wedding sober, but here's some hope: Once God removed the obsession in me, I found I was able to go to events like weddings and actually be PRESENT. Instead of planning how I could keep the wine glass full without the guests thinking I am a drunk (haha), I actually feel the joy of the couple, and relish the happiness of the day. But that comes in time...but it does come IF we work for it