"a colourless volatile flammable liquid which is the intoxicating constituent of wine, beer, spirits, and other drinks, and is also used as an industrial solvent and as fuel"

Okay..the stuff burns and dissolves paint. Can you imagine what it does to our brains and internal organs?

LOVE THIS! LOVE THIS! LOVE THIS!

English language stripped down to the bare bones truth.

So pleased you posted, maitribachan.

i agree 100% with your grandad. "Just stop drinking" is not foolishness...it's good advice. I doubt a man like your grandfather would have been wringing his hanky about how hard it all is. A straightforward, pragmatic approach is some peoples preference. I'm not taking issue with you being blunt. I'm taking issue with you being wrong. Not everyone shares your experience.

Welcome to SR Maitribachan x

Whenever I read a post that seems hard to comprehend the first thing I do is to see where the poster is from if they have listed it. I missed this thread originally so this was the first time I have read it. After reading maitribachan's post I looked over and saw that she was from Nepal. Assuming English was not her first language I was able to take her post for what it was and realize that I might not totally understand what she was trying to convey in her message.

Another thing I will do if I am confused by a post or get mixed messages is to look at their public profile and see if there is any additional information that will help me relate to where this person is coming from.

I can be blunt sometimes as well and I'm trying to work on being more tolerant. I still struggle sometimes when I see someone who is in "acute" denial, but I have to try and remember that I have been down that river too. I also need to remember that what works for me doesn't always work for others. I need people around me in my recovery to be direct with me because I am full of BS and need to be called on it. That doesn't mean that will work for someone else.

Thank you for letting me remind myself to be more tolerant. :)

I actually could have had a siezure , but made up my mind to go forward .

Country people are loaded with resolve , for better or worse .

I have had it be Worse ;)

I kinda laughed at this post the first time I read it. Then I realized the message. Alcohol destroys your body! Theres no big secret here. But doesent the bb say keep it simple. Its very simple to make the decision not to drink . You just have to decide to stop killing yourself. Newcomers that deliver simple messages like this is why I come here. Its what reminds me that im one drink from death. I need that reminder. I hope others here feel the same way.

Yes Linda, you're correct. I was insensitive, and I should be more courteous to newcomers (although, I believe I usually am). In addition, English is probably not the OP's first language--so that's another reason to extend a little more courtesy. However, just as my post struck a never with you, maitribachan's post also struck a nerve with me (and apparently a few others).. I wasn't even sure if he/she was serious, as we all obviously know we should "stop drinking alcohol".

But most of all I was little perturbed that someone would suggest we "just stop". Having struggled with "just stopping" for a very long time I found the suggestion a little annoying. As I said, if only it were that easy.

The attitude that addicts can just stop is not uncommon amongst those who don't have addiction problems, or who don't understand the tenacity of addiction. Telling an addict to "just stop" is like telling a diabetic to just stop having diabetes. I'm sure you can understand why some of us might be a little annoyed by the OP's post.

I was addicted to alcohol and benzos. I have been there. I have been in the clutches, yet I do believe that an addicted person is capable of quitting. There are a huge number of resources available, an addicted person need only avail him/herself to those resources and indeed they can "just stop drinking".

.Uh yeah, no it's not. It might be akin to telling a diabetic to stop eating copious amounts of sugar though. And yes, that would be a reasonable directive.

Yes, I can certainly understand where you are coming from...
Just to even out the playing field...
I was diagnosed with Major Depression many years ago and if someone told me, to just stop being depressed, I wouldn't have been able to "just snap out of it" either....
Thankfully, with the right treatment and LOTS of counseling I am in a much healthier place now...
Believe me, I WISH my last boyfriend would have listened to me...
But, as we all know, it isn't that simple...

I sometimes wonder if addicts have "moments of clarity" for example, after a loved one has voiced their concern, but because of the physical addition, which is so very powerful, that it's "easier" to pretend that no problem exists?

Maybe this is why people who don't understand addiction assume that someone can just stop?

I'm curious how you and other members feel about this?

Thanks for writing, but more importantly thank you for choosing sobriety;)

All the best,


Linda

Hey Soberlicious....

I must have been writing my post as you were writing yours!
That's what I find so confusing...
I see what the other member means in terms of it not being easy to stop, but then again, if someone offers you a variety of resources, like my family and I did with my last boyfriend and they still don't see it, does this mean that they don't want to stop or they have the false belief that it's not possible for them to live without alcohol?

I really do try my best to understand both sides of the equation...
Anyway you look at it, addiction is simply awful;(

I'm glad to see though, that you didn't let the demon win....

All the best,



Linda

May i point out in the original post all references were made to "we" and "our". To me that is not someone who is directing a comment at "US" or referring to "them"

Drinking alcohol is not a good habit. We must stop drinking alcohol. It effects our body and our family too. We can live happily. Alcohol is such types of drinking water that it may cause lungs cancer, kidney cancer.Our lives will be shorter by drinking alcohol. It is good not to drink alcohol.

I think this is a superb post. Every sentence is demonstrably true. I am a particular fan of: "We can live happily."

Yes, we all need to not drink, obviously. That's pretty much what this thread was originally about. I hate to see people argue over pointless things on here where we're supposed to be helping each other.

Obviously we should stop drinking, but it's not that easy, it takes a ton of work. I think that we can all agree on that, yes?

The OP stated some simple truths of which one was that we should stop drinking alcohol. And anyone that has had alcohol negatively affect their lives should certainly stop drinking. I don't see the issue here. The OP never said it was easy.

At one time I held the belief that it was not possible to live without alcohol, well at least I couched it in those terms. The truth is, I did not want to stop drinking. I can't speak for your bf, but he, just like anyone else, is capable of ending his addiction if that is what he truly wants to do. Of course it takes work. Of course at times it's challenging. But make no mistake, it can be done.
Yes, it is. As the OP pointed out...it destroys everything good. Everything.

Thanks Superlicious for your encouraging advice. I'm on day three right now and your comments support that tiny little voice inside my head which is trying to tell me I CAN do it and be happy. As you can guess there is a much bigger voice telling me I can't.
We need advice like yours
:scoregood

(I wasn't using "we" as in royal we , I was just imagining that I'm not alone!)

Sorry, just realized your name is soberlicious not superlicious (I was getting confused with Mary Poppins!)

The tiny voice that tells you that you can and the big voice that tells you that you can't are capable of switching places.

Dee sometimes refers to the Cherokee legend of the two wolves. I love it. "Which wolf will win? The one you feed."

I'd like to apologise to the OP. Im a regular poster on a Scottish football forum, where i guess the "humour" is different and i tend to forget people on other forums have different sensibilities. . No offence intended and welcome to SR mate.