Cpop86

Hey guys, im not used to typing on a forum about recent issues, but being stuck as far in my head as I currently am, Im not sure what to do. I've always had a hard time thinking what to say at meeting so heck maybe this'll at least help somewhat. Truth is, I just drank yesterday and When I drink, I like many drink to excess. This has been going on for a while. I originally moved a few months ago from philly to jersey to be around people I know including family in hopes of quitting, but that only lasted a couple weeks. By the time I relapsed, I had a job, a good home with the folks, and was talking to someone as far as a possible future relationship. Life to me was getting much better, but at the same time I had the brilliant idea to drink a bit at night when I was playing my comp games or watching a movie or what not. It worked for a while and seemed to enhance my conversations on the phone so I liked it. Unfortunately Things have progressed and just wow! Now Im completely struggling because that relationship was killed, I have to move again tomorrow because the folks dont wanna deal with this, and my job is majorly at risk to the extreme. I know going to a meeting is what im SUPPOSED to do, and quitting will make life a whole lot better. However Im so concerned about this job, home (which im not liking where im moving), breakup and virtually everything else that Im having an almost impossible time thinking about what I should really be doing. I feel stuck to drink and feel sorry for myself simply of all the exra garbage is going on. In some ways I feel as though my life is virtually over, and cant think of the first thing to do to change that. Has anyone been through something like this? Ive been completely isolated all day due to lack of friends and today I feel like I have way too much of a weight on my shoulders :/ -- Anyways, if you read this, thanks for reading.

sunya

Drinking won't change your issues. If anything it will complicate matters. One day at a time, one hour one minute.

awuh1

You are going through some losses and it seems directly related to alcohol. This will change but there is nothing so bad that a drink won’t make worse. Sounds like you would benefit from social contacts through, and at, meetings. Do it. Make some friends. Sounds to me like working the program would not hurt either. Got a sponsor?

dancook99

When I moved home to get sober, it didn't work for me either. In fact it was too easy a life I think, and tempted me to drink to cure the boredom and get comfort. And I was surprisingly good at hiding it (for a while, until I started stealing their liquor in desperation). I had those thoughts about life being over too.

Ever since I got thrown out of the house two years ago, I haven't drunk a drop. It was the best thing to happen to me, I would hate to live with my parents now. Where are you moving to?

Gottalife

We often hear on this sight "whatever works for you - just do that" but there seems to be a process in finding what works and it seems kinda backwards.

We start off with what we'd most like to work and when that fails we go through a process of trying various things and eventually end up with a big list of things that don't work. One of the things that doesn't work for the real alcoholic, is just sitting in meetings waiting for something to happen.

Meetings don't treat alcoholism, and it sounds like you are suffering from untreated alcoholism.

This backwards process has been called step zero, where you go round and round eliminating possible solutions. Eventually it leads to a place where only two options are left. Continue on as you are, trying to blot out the intolerable nature of your existence as best you can, or accept spiritual help.

The latter means get back to a meeting, find a sponsor willing and able to show you how to have a spiritual experience, and start working those steps as if your life depended on it. In reality, it does.

visch1

I found that going to a meeting is a good start if I get honest with myself. Then I recognized that many meetings is what is really needed because I was in no shape to answer my own answers with any of the experience I needed, so I got a sponsor and continued with a lot of meetingS to START to heal the brain as some are sicker than others and I continue going 3-5 meetings a week after 30+ years. It's a good remember when. BE WELL

Cpop86

I must admit, I didn't expect much from the feedback thus far. I honestly didnt even know WHY I posted this other than just for the possibility that I may read something that may help. Its amazing how when I get into my own head how simple the responses are when I hear things said back at me. Thank you for these responses. I do not yet have a sponsor, nor do I have any sort of spiritual connection, but Its about that time I start working at that. "Gottalife" you have a great point. I have always gone to meetings being taught "fake it till you make it." Maybe just one day I thought Id hear some magic words that would fix everything. Thank you all for your straight up opinion and I realize I can no longer use problems, caused by drinking in the first place to excuse me to be able to do it again. @dancook99, thanks for replicating my exact scenario with being home, and i thought the same thing as yourself, only to make problems worse. I certainly hope I have the same success in the future. By the way, moving to Keyport, NJ. Same town, so I still have the same small amount of support. I was tempted to go back to Philly but that would be only running away from the problem. With that all said, I now have 1 day today

Matterhorn

The anxiety goes away when you stop boozing...

artsoul

I easy to see how you would be feeling overwhelmed right now, but this can also be the beginning of better things for you. When I get into that overwhelmed state (where you feel paralyzed because there's SO much to deal with), I have to bring myself back to the present moment and just deal with the next thing in front of me.

I know this sounds contradictory, but I also find that gratitude can put things in perspective. Things can seem really bad sometimes until I think of people that are in the hospital or don't even have a roof over their head. I can usually find something positive if I look hard enough.

I'm glad you're here and I know things will get better for you in sobriety. You can get through this!

bigsombrero

Been there. Sounds like you are snowballing a bit here - the best thing to do is try and cut those "problem" areas into little chunks, in my experience. What can you do, right now, to help the situation? You certainly can't fix everything with a magic wand by the time SportCenter is over, can you? If not, then it might be best to slow down and take a breath.

I used to get really wound up when I bundled my troubles, and things only picked up speed until I had borderline anxiety attacks - which were the one thing I could fix, with alcohol. Booze always was my immediate solution, and when everything looked bleak I started turning to it first thing in the morning and go all day long. You can imagine where that led me.

Anyway, if you're going to tackle these things one at a time, like a real person, you're going to have to quit the drinking first in my opinion. It might seem overly simplistic, but it's the most important step. Have you ever heard someone say "I'm kicking this guy out of my house because he STOPPED drinking"? Or "I'm going to fire this guy because he just got sober", etc, etc? Not only does stopping drinking improve your health and personal well-being, but it also improves your status almost immediately.

Quit the bottle and you will see a much clearer picture of your situation. You can cross that bridge when you come to it.

whiskeyman

You do know, you say it yourself. GO TO A MEETING.

you know what can change that. GO TO A MEETING

Someone at a meeting can help you with the weight . A SPONSOR.

you can do this. make a change.

visch1

"Maybe just one day I thought Id hear some magic words that would fix everything."

Profound words that fix a lot of situations: Just don't drink even if your assz falls off AND GO TO A MEETING EVERY DAY.

BE WELL