LadyBlue0527

When I made my decision to quit drinking I contacted a friend who I found out had also quit. At that point he almost had 50 days of sobriety under his belt. It was a great talk and I was so happy for him. He was a chronic alcoholic who would come to work and if he entered your office it would wreak like a bottle return center. He would have to hide his hands because they were shaking so badly. He got himself into detox and was working his program. When we had our first chat he verbalized that he knew that he had to do it because if he didn't he was going to eventually die.

I tried to text and call him yesterday with no response. Being worried I phoned a mutual friend and when she got in touch with him she told me that he said "I'm still alive" and that was it. It's clear that he's had a relapse.

I HATE ALCOHOL, I HATE, HATE, HATE IT. The next time I sit there and feel sorry for myself that everyone is at the lake or somewhere partying a drinking on the weekend and I'm not I am going to repeat that sentence over and over to myself.

I lost a friend in February who I witnessed go down the path of chronic alcoholism. To the point that she passed out on her couch with a lit cigarette and died on Valentines Day from burns on 80% of her body.

I'm going to continue to call this friend until he answers. I know that he's ignoring me because he feels badly about relapsing. I hope that I can help him to understand that there is always a Day One available and that no matter the circumstance, I am always here.

visch1

Hi. I understand your feelings and concern. In a lot of situations I/we need to examine the words acceptance of the things WE can't change. A long time ago my sponsor said "we can't get anyone drunk or sober and a successful 12 step call is one we walk away from sober." ALL WE CAN DO IS ALL WE CAN DO. BE WELL

Sally3127

Yes, keep trying to get in touch with your friend. He needs your support. Our disease is so cunning, baffling and powerful.

Nuudawn

Certainly check on your friend to ensure he is safe...and to let him know you are there for him. But his sobriety is his business. You do know that right? As much as we may want to...we cannot sober anyone up. I have sister who needs to quit drinking. She was actually going to come visit me to sober up this week. She is scared of withdrawal..DT's. I said I would be with her in case something should happen. She decided she would rather go on a trip...cuz she was stressed...with an alcoholic friend. I voiced my opinion about it...but the rest is up to her. She has the right to live as she chooses... I have no right to force my will..

GracieLou

I have just reached this point with my friend. I love him and he is my friend but I have to let go. I have realized that I was holding myself back in my recovery because I was waiting for him. I was hoping he might jump on my train but in reality he has to jump on his own.

I will still talk with him and be his friend but emotionally I have to move on. I have to move on with my recovery, make new friends and reach out to old friends that I have placed at arms length because they did not drink and that is all I wanted to do.

I had an old friend visit over the weekend and it was really nice to have that slice of life.

All I can do is pray, continue to be his friend and help if I can but also let go in areas I can't.

sarahaha

That's such a good idea, I also have old friends that I pushed away because I had forgotten how to connect with people without drinking and they weren't drinkers.
I hope your friend is able to try again!

IWLSAST

My best wishes for your friend, LB. Speaking only for myself...when my family or friends tried to encourage me to stop during an "actively drinking period," it truly went in one ear, and right out the other. It wasn't that I resented their attempts...I just didn't care. My best example of this is how I told my very best friend, and wife of 25 years that I choose drinking over being together anymore. Clearly, I was insane!

I know that I have never encountered anything as cunning, baffling, and as powerful as alcohol in my life. It has made for the craziest love/hate relationship in my life.

I feel blessed for my sobriety, TODAY...happy for yours...and will have a good thought for your friend, that HE decides enough is enough, soon!

Ananda

I am so grateful for those friends I had when i drank again...and again...and again...

Who were still my friends and still spent time with me (as long as I wasn't being irrational or agressive or any of the other things I am when I am really into the booze).

I have alcoholic friends who haven't found a path to sobriety yet. I don't spend time talking with them when they are sloppy drunk..but I appreciate the many nice times we have had together.

I can't get them sober, keep them sober...I don't even really know what they need to do to stay sober...they will find that themselves. they are just my friends.