Starflyer

I’ve never really understood the concept behind having a relationship between you and the bottle. I always thought it rather silly. Not until recently, while trying to stay sober for good instead of taking a break for a day or two, have I really come to understand the phrase. It really is like dumping the love of your life. When you go out, the two of you have fun together. When you celebrate a holiday or birthday, you celebrate together. When you stay in for the night, you stay in together. When you’re sitting at home bored, you keep each other company. Just like anyone else on here, it’s hard to let go. They say time heals all wounds which is another saying I find to be rubbish. It’s not time that heals; it’s what you DO with that time. We all can’t simply wait for someone to pull us up from the concrete (literal and figurative metaphor).

I received a text from a friend last night about hanging out. I asked him what he had in mind (this friend of mine is a social drinker, so I wanted to know what would be involved). He said that another close friend of ours was in town for the night and it will be the last chance he’ll ever be back.

We have this friend, let’s call him…Mark. Mark lives a long way away from us but flies into town every few months to handle some work related material. Every time he comes to town we all hang out. We’ve been doing this for years. Now, all of a sudden, Mark has accepted a different job and will no longer be flying back to our town. It’s probably the last time any of us will get a chance to see him for a very very long time – if not ever again.

So I asked where they were. He mentioned the bar right down the block from me. It’s within walking distance. It takes under five minutes to walk there, literally. As you may have guessed already, this is my old drinking spot. I was a regular there. It’s a small place, they don’t get a whole lot of business, and so they burn their drinks and sell ‘em cheap. I know all the bartenders there, along with all the servers. This is bad news, but I really want to see Mark again and to wish him well. I gave in and walked down there. I greet every one with a hug or a fist-bump and by the time I grab a chair and sit down the server has already brought over two of my regular vodka drinks. Oh man, a moment of decision…

“Oh, sorry (name withheld), just water for me tonight.”

Here it comes, I thought; all of the questions, all of the looks, the stares…

“Not drinking tonight?” says one of my friends.

“Naw, not tonight…” I begin to think of something to add-on, something like “I’m battling a bit of a cold” or “I’ve got a early morning tomorrow” or “I’m kind of on the broke side”, but I didn’t have to.

“Fair enough.” The friend cuts off my train of thought, and the rest of the evening continues.

Why am I taking up your time with this story? Because I want to encourage whoever is reading this that being sober is not bad, not bad at all. We all talked and laughed. I felt quick with my thought process. Most of the time people get drunk and slur on and on about this thing or that thing not knowing what the hell they were trying to say in the first place. It felt good to feel sharp. We talked about many different things. We hung out in the 24 hour hot tub at the hotel (this bar is located on the backside of the hotel with a separate entrance). We sat in the hot tub, relaxed, and talked some more. I walked home at 2:00 am having consumed nothing but water all night. Geez, I can’t remember the last time I’ve made that walk and not stumbled, or at least been buzzed.

I woke up this morning feeling a little dehydrated from sweating in the hot tub, but all-in-all, I feel pretty good. I don’t need alcohol to have a good time. A night is what you make of it. Sure I gave into a little bit of the silliness and tomfoolery my drunken cohorts implored, but I did them sober.
I don’t feel quite so scared anymore. I understand this is only one small hurdle of thousands, but at least I know that I have the ability to make a stand. I used to be so fearsome that I would have absolutely no control and alcohol would ruin me and I would die very young having accomplished nothing. Yes, I’m still feeling some withdrawals, but I can tell they’re slowly starting to abate.

I’ve gone on far too long…I will leave you with this, my thought of the day:

“Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful!” – Mary Shelly

Deckard

Well said, Starflyer.

Sounds like a really nice evening!

silentrun

I enjoyed reading that post. Thanks.

Starflyer

Thanks, guys. I'm trying to write posts like this to keep my thoughts focused on the positive elements of sobriety. I'm sure I'll have a lot of questions to ask, too. I don't need to drink in order to fit in or have a good time. Plus my wallet was smiling at me in the morning!

artsoul

Great read! I found the same to be true for me..... It's nice to be able think and actually connect with people, instead of worrying about whether I'm walking straight......

visch1

. So many good things can happen by not picking up that first drink! BE WELL

DrakeCKC

Great post, thank you! I so agree, I was afraid what friends I used to drink with would think but soon I found they did not really care (except for one and it made him think about his own serious alcoholism) and I enjoyed everyone's company just as much.

secretary

I started putting the money I would have have spent on booze in a piggy bank. If I am able to stay strong, by the end of the month I should have saved enough money to buy something really cool!!!!

suzi_Q

Great post! I have had quite a few social occasions sober, and I have found it great to be sharp and know that I am coherent and making sense. It feels great to wake in the morning, remembering everything, having a clear head, and not having to check my phone and Facebook to see what I got up to the night before...I have had two months sober now, and there have been challenging times, but overall I am loving life and this new sober outlook.