Lightning Bug

My husband drinks. He is a daily, maybe 2-3 beers after work. I am 15 days sober. Last night he tried to get me to drink with him. I did not do it.

It's hard.

GroundhogDay

I got lucky. My husband was never much of a drinker. He doesn't drink at all around me.

Neagrm

It is not uncommon for a partner or any who are close to us not in recovery, to attempt to sabotage our efforts of change. Consciously or unconsciously, they test our resolve and want to return to the previous, familiar status quo. It's great you kept your boundaries strong! Reach out to those in solid recovery for support to see you through. Best wishes to you.

PeacefulRain

Very rarely and never around me.

Crossfitdad

My wife has cut back to practically nothing. We got in a fight over it. I tell her to drink (I could care less because I don't have cravings) but I think she's trying to support me. Plus, she only likes to drink with me...she says its no fun without me.

2granddaughters

My wife doesn't drink either. She would have a beer before because I was having a beer (she had 1 .. I had 8). I quit, she quit.

I am blessed.

I believe in recovery that we both have to grow together or we'll grow apart. AA helps me .. Al-Anon helped her.

All the best.

Bob R

Soberpotamus

He doesn't anymore. I think I've seen him drink maybe 2-3 beers ever. I doubt he'd ever drink in front of me again. But we aren't down the road very far yet. Have been married less than two years.

GiantNZ

My wife has one to two glasses of wine in an evening three to four nights a week. She would never push it onto me, as she understands that I am alcoholic, which equates to if I drink I die.

I've always said that I have the problem she does not so why shouldn't she. The only thing that really annoys me sometimes with her second glass if she has had enough she tips it down the sink. YOU DON'T WASTE GOOD BOOZE IN FRONT OF AN ALCOHOLIC.

Lifewillgetbet

LOL GiantNC.

sunrise1

GiantNZ, our experiences are identical

I figure it's my problem, not his. I encourage him to drink when he feels like it. He's come to understand that I really can't, and he supports me fully (now).

That's not to say there weren't a few false starts; he did not think I had "enough" of a problem in the beginning, but he hated that I drank, yada yada- so we took a few laps around some failed drinking experiments.

In the end, I'm happy he can drink in moderation. I wish I could but that ship sailed quite some time ago.

aw58

My Husband drinks every night , he has two beers. weekends more. when we go out he would have about 8 and me about 4/5 pints. But then I would come home and drink more. I cant tell him to stop its up to him. His friends are coming over next Saturday its a yearly event and its messy, but this year I'm not joining them as I don't want to put temptation in my way and I will be the only one without a hang over, my hangovers have got worse just recently even on a couple of drinks I feel really bad, its my body telling me enough is enough ..

Lightning Bug

I think my husband misses his "drinking buddy."

GratitudeDude

I've been married to my wife 32+ years and I've never seen her drunk. She rarely drinks. She's always been tremendously supportive of both my son's and my recovery: he's 12+ years clean and 27 years old. I'm 11+ years sober and 60 years old. Twice I've seen my wife have two drinks on a single day and she really didn't finish either drink --- I know, I watched those two drinks a little too carefully!

My wife does sometimes threaten to become an alcoholic so that she can join our "club" -- I always laugh and tell her that becoming an alcoholic (esp. If you aren't one!) is a lot harder than she thinks... As usual, she doesn't think that's as funny as I do...

I can't imagine being in a relationship where my spouse wasn't supportive of my recovery. I don't ever expect my wife to really understand what it's like to be an alcoholic. I gave that fantasy up after two fruitless years of trying after I got sober. Eventually gave up. At that time I also gave up a lifetime equally fruitless attempt at trying to understand what being a woman is like. Nice trade off I must say.

Mike L.

Anna

My husband rarely drank but he stopped when I did. Actually, I put him off alcohol completely.

Anyways, I am grateful that our home is always an alcohol-free place. We never serve alcohol and never have alcohol in the house. Life is simple.

ippochick

mine too. i keep telling him that i'm the alcoholic, not him. he is incredibly supportive, bless him. no alcohol in the house, and if we're out he'll have 2 pints then switch to coke.

he still has his mad nights out with his friends. he's a good man.

Jfanagle

The now wife, was a girlfriend for the past 8 years is a daily wine drinker. We have separate residences, but get together on the weekends. I keep and have always kept various wines at my place for her.

As has been said, my problem is mine, no one else's and I have dated drinkers and non-drinkers since I got sober. The commitment that I made to sobriety some 14 years ago was because I was slowly killing myself and I viewed the solution of stopping drinking as a better alternative to stopping breathing. I never removed alcohol from my home or my life, just my body. AA has been my path, there are many others, just not that I have taken. I will admit that I have had a few spirited debates with my original sponsor about keeping alcohol and dating/living with and finally marrying drinkers, but it has worked out.

I am not advocating this for anyone, I simply wanted to go on record as to what my experience has been with this age old question in the recovery world.

Best of a holiday weekend to everyone,

Jon

KarenSW

My husband is a daily drinker. A big part of our lives were involved in the latest restaurants and night spots. He greatly misses this. He still drinks and doesn't understand why I just can't have one once in awhile.

shortbiscuit

LMAO! The first time I was sober, it didn't bug me if my husband had a drink in front of me, but one time he went to dump it down the sink and I yelled at him: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? That's ALCOHOL ABUSE!"

Lightning Bug

He had a few too many tonight. I should be able to turn a shoulder to it, right?
Triggers. I feel weak, but I did not succumb.

aw58

yes mine too, I feel a bit mean as Ive told him I cant go into our fave pubs anymore