HappyDestiny3

Cheers to "Lil" and Florence R... Just imagine how the felt..

HuskyPup

Thanks for all of the ideas that everyone's offered; I gained a great deal of insight reading over all the replies, confirming some things I'd considered before, while amalgamating different perspectives.

Group dynamics and social psychology have always interested me; I tend to naturally look closely at and analyze my surroundings, something that I've always done, like an animal following a scent. And then some of it comes from a habit of being keenly aware of what's around me, moment by moment.

If I go to another meeting, I'll bear what I've read here in mind.

Soberpotamus

HP, I didn't really comment much on your thread, waiting to hear what the others said first... the AA meetings I go to have been at a Clubhouse, and I'd guess that it's usually anywhere from 60% to 80% men in there. And it's also worth mentioning that so far, the few people's shares I've truly connected with and been inspired by were elderly men!! Lmao!! How can that be?? Beyond me...

Tamerua

Jennie, in most of the meetings I go to, I get along best with the retired gay men. Funny how that works out!

Soberpotamus

Yes it is!! I was sort of freaked out at first... thinking it confirmed that I wasn't a normal female. My husband sometimes comments to me that I'll say something and he's surprised that I think like a man... I'm starting to get a complex. But really I think maybe it's just a personality thing, I don't know. I did test as an INTJ on the Meyer Briggs, twice. And I think there's only a tiny minority that are women who are this type.

GracieLou

LOL, I have one guy I get along with splendid. He is so nice and we always hug.

I have to say there are more men at the meetings I go to then women except maybe my Monday BB meeting. That one, we out number the men. The rest are lead or mini-lead/discussion and they are at least 75% men.

Last week I was in a meeting and I did not even notice until it started that I was the only woman there. Luckily a lady did show up a little late so I was not totally alone..lol

Michelangelo

One of the reasons is there are much more alcoholic men than alcoholic women.

polaris

There is a large part of me, based on everything Ive seen and experienced, that does lead me to believe that men are more prone to alcoholism at a higher rate.

I could be wrong though for sure, and my opinion in no way diminishes the effect of alcoholism on either sex.

Alex1776

Men are more prone to alcoholism.

Alcohol relieves shyness, social anxiety disorder for you DSM lovers .

Shy quite women are cute and desirable.

Shy quite men are considered weak and undesirable by society.

Shyness in a man leads to difficulties in the dating social scene of youth.

This makes men more likely to abuse alcohol.

EndGameNYC

Ahh...It's been a long time since I've even heard about the MBTI. It was never my favorite tool for assessing personality types. I get much more from conducting unstructured clinical interviews. But it can be a useful tool when used as an adjunct to unstructured clinical assessments.

And you're right. Very few women fall into the INTJ category, a designation that is male-dominated. That your assessment placed you in this category is a good thing, at least to me, since this designation consists of many different valuable personal attributes, including intellectual strength and creativity, particularly when it comes to putting your well-considered ideas into action, and a facile mind that tends to look inside when searching for a solution, among many more.

Now that I know what I know, your personality designation only confirms what I've been reading in your comments all along.

EndGameNYC

True. For every one-hundred people who suffer from"problem drinking," about thirty will be women.

Women suffer an array alcohol-related medical complications more frequently than man do, and they suffer these adverse conditions, including liver disease, more quickly than do men.

Soberpotamus

Yeah I was given the MBTI along with a few other tests by a therapist years ago, probably around age 21 or 22.

I've always been frustrated because I've never been able to use this personality type in an occupation that allows me to use all of the attributes. I was headed toward the neuroscience side of psychology, then got sidetracked by philosophy, and finally by singing/songwriting. And then, of course, my addiction was bad enough that I never could quite function at full capacity again for a few more years, until now.

I always ignored the area of any real genius I probably had... words and writing. My scores on standardized test in English, writing, reading are quite high. I almost think I was done a disservice by a few professors and high school teachers who pushed me to be a writer... I WAS a writer all along, and so I think that's why I wanted to dabble in everything but that. Looking back, I wish I'd gotten a BA in English, MFA in Creative Writing... but I ended up with BA's in Philosophy and Psychology instead... and then trying to drink alcoholically, while studying music and singing lessons (after college)... just didn't work... Lol!

So... here I am. At a crossroads. Unsure what to do next

ETA: I think that I was ultimately trying to connect behavioral neuroscience and theories of consciousness in philosophy.

legna

Okay, allow me to put my head into the guillotine...

I am an alcoholic man. I used everyone I could to further my alcoholism and continue drinking. IMO, an alcoholic woman will attract many more willing male enablers than an alcoholic man will attract willing female enablers. I got to a point where I was unemployable and couldn't function from the waist down. Not exactly the type of man who is in high demand. On the other hand, a woman at the same stage of alcoholism can usually find herself with a roof over her head and no need for a job because someone is going to be willing to take care of her if she is willing to have sex with him.

It's sick and the cost is high, but if I could have found a woman who would have me as a kept man, I'd have drunk myself to death and never made it to a meeting.

Coldfusion

Here too.

EndGameNYC

That's a very interesting background, some of which, without getting into details, I identify with.

I too was a philosophy major, with a double minor in classical literature and American and European history. I was very fortunate to be gifted with a natural curiosity about people and, well, just about everything. This helped me find my profession in life. Went to grad school when I was three years sober at age thirty. I've since done a great deal of work in various parts of the field -- including neuropsychology. It's never too late.

In early sobriety, the world weighed heavily on my broken self, and I was filled with remorse and regrets about my poor decisions and missed opportunities. When I started grad school, I was able to take in my sponsor's near-constant mantra: "You know all those things you dreamed of doing when you were out there drinking? Well, now you can do them. It's all up to you." Freedom is empowering and terrifying at the same time. Basically, his message was, "It's time to let go of your fears." Over time, I stopped living in fear, and something wonderful took its place. I wish I were better at communicating these things to other people, but overcoming fear is usually a formidable enterprise.

I know you as a good writer, and you express yourself very well. I don't recall whether or not you've attempted blogging, but if you haven't, that may be a way to make good use of your talents and interests.

There are few degrees that offer the kind of satisfaction and the seemingly limitless opportunities -- teaching, psychotherapy, research, forensic psychology, the military, government work, children and families, publishing and much more -- that are available with a PhD in psychology. I've worked in all these areas and more. I read somewhere something like, "If you love what you're doing for work, you never do a day of work in your life." Same with the education part of it. It gives you an opportunity to find grace, redemption and recovery in the strangest places. Wouldn't hurt just to look into it.

aw58

I think there are many reasons, but mine is the same as I cant walk into a pub on my own, I wouldn't say as I was shy but not much confidence. I also feel embarrassed , scared to admit I have a problem , scared to think I cant control the alcohol scared what people will think of me, scared there going to be nutty, scared someone might know me, scared I will be seen walking in, just plain bloody scared

EndGameNYC

You might be interested in this piece:

Blogging Myself Sober | The Fix

Here's her blog:

Drunky Drunk Girl | A blog about getting sober

Soberpotamus

Thanks much, EndGame! Yeah, you know, I've been kind of letting the idea of blogging incubate in my mind for a while now... actually, years... lol. I knew it was an ideal way to get my writing and thoughts put out there, and way to organize thoughts, etc... just also knew I wasn't ready yet... I think I'm almost ready Was telling my husband yesterday... I think I'm kind of getting where I could imagine the type of blog I'd write... it's taken a while.

I'm also ready to write short stories again.

Just wrestling with the idea of a masters degree... my heart is in creative writing of course, and if money and time were no object, I'd go for an MFA. But I feel indebted to my husband now, and feel that it would be more practical to go for a more useful degree... and the obvious... psych and counseling... though my heart isn't all there. I could do it and do a fine job of it, I'm sure... guess I need to decide.

Soberpotamus

Apologies for the thread hijack...

Soberpotamus

Wow, wow, wow... reading the blog now... this woman thinks so much like me!! Crazy... it's as if I could have written this exactly. Now it makes me think I'd be redundant if I attempted a blog like this... and that's what stopped me from doing it all along... I keep coming across blogs where people are saying pretty much what I'd say... and well, I don't want to try and reinvent the wheel... but we are all unique, so I'm sure there's an argument for that too... hmmm.