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:rotfxko

Bunch of BS.

I went through two phases of moderation. The first was after my initial attempt at quitting. "I just want the freedom to drink a beer once and a while." That was what I told my wife but I quickly went back to my old habits except this time I had the stigma of alcoholism hanging over my head so I had to try, and try hard to keep it to just one. After multiple times of over doing it I quit for good... or so I led people to believe.

The second stint of moderation was me sneaking drinks. See, in my alcoholic mind I figured that since everyone knows I quit I'll just have a beer here and there and I won't over do it because then the cat is out of the bag and I don't want to get busted. WRONG! It was torment. The balancing act I tried to keep led to terrible anxiety and a few panic attacks. And even the days I had "just one" the hours were followed by me craving more, I couldn't think of anything else. I was constantly distracted wondering when I'll have my next drink, where I'll have it, will I have enough time to freshen up afterwards? But after every "just one" was the burning desire for more.

Example: I was at my inlaws one weekend. Decided to go for a walk by myself to get "just one." Went to the grocery store and got a half pint of Yag, enough to give me a good buzz that I would drink on my walk and hopefully it would wear off by the time I got back. Walked as far as the gas station a block away where I proceeded to guzzle it in the bathroom. Walked out of the bathroom and got a big can of 4 Loko. Went on my walk, drank the 4 Loko and walked right to another gas station where I got a second can. Got good and plastered and spent the rest of the afternoon and night holed up in the bedroom trying to stop myself from going on another walk. I was miserable.

Olive1

The last time I tried moderation it almost killed me.
The next time it most likely will.

EndGameNYC

If I'm "trying" moderation, what that means is that I want to drink the way I want to drink. Never a good thing.

Crossfitdad

according to MM by way of Wikipedia, this is moderate drinking:


A Moderate Drinker:

Considers an occasional drink to be a small, though enjoyable, part of life.
Has hobbies, interests, and other ways to relax and enjoy life that do not include alcohol.
Usually has friends who are moderate drinkers or nondrinkers.
Generally has something to eat before, during, or soon after drinking.
Usually does not drink for longer than an hour or two on any particular occasion.
Usually does not drink faster than one drink per half-hour.
Usually does not exceed the .055% BAC moderate drinking limit.
Feels comfortable with his or her use of alcohol (never drinks secretly and does not spend a lot of time thinking about drinking or planning to drink).


All I gotta say is **** that! If by moderation, you guys are talking about drinking a little now and then and getting effed up about once or twice a month, I might be able to go for that. However, I've got no desire to regulate myself to one or two beers per week. If I'm gonna drink, then I'm gonna drink. Luckily I've decided not to drink and I don't have to worry about it. I hope those of you calling for moderation really know what you are getting into.

MattyBoy

Sorry what I meant was doctors advice to alcoholics who have come to see the doc for advice on how to stop drinking. Should've cleared that up but I totally see your point regardless

LadyBlue0527

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the "M" word. Oh yes, the constant strive for an alcoholic who has not yet faced the fact that they have a problem and will go to whatever length necessary to not have to abstain fully.

Doesn't work, at least not for me and from what I see not for most either.

I can laugh a little now at it and I repeat it often. It bears repeating.

My last attempt at moderation was to only drink on weekends and with the premise that if I was unable to control myself and moderate properly that I would have to abstain forever. No more reasoning and bargaining. Now think about that, an alcoholic who had a choice. Drink a reasonable amount or never have any at all. You would think that would do it. Nope.

There is a fine line between the sips of alcohol that you take where you are still in control and mindful of how much you had and the sip where you say screw it, might as well just keep drinking. An alcoholic will never be able to stop before the screw it sip.

EndGameNYC

Lots of jargon, buzz words, and labels in the recovery arena.

It's not completely untruthful to say that I was a moderated drinker, even though moderating for me meant drinking slightly less than two liters of vodka each and every day. Drinking better than two liters each day was bingeing for me, which I did for the better part of three years.

I was also a "social drinker." Drinking 'round-the-clock was my version of socializing.

DylanS

Of course I tried moderating. I think that's one of the first things a lot of folks try - it seems logical: oh, I'm drinking too much, I'll cut back.

"The idea that somehow, someday, he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker."

For me, it was a crap-shoot. I might be able to have 1-2 drinks. I might be able to control it once, or even twice - if I was lucky. I can't control AND enjoy drinking. I either enjoy and let rip or (try to) control and am miserable - and fail, in the end, anyway.

gaffo

If I moderated, it was always followed by a binge, something I've come to realize is common for our kind. I also hated thinking about drinking all the time--something only prolonged abstinence can mitigate.

The comments about Doctors struck a chord for me. They tried to warn me but they probably take a class about how useless it is to try and make a drinker quit. I learned to never tell them how much I actually drank. My other boozy friends were the same.

Forward12

If we were able to moderate, we never would be alcoholics in the first place. Our minds are programmed differently from "normal" people. The off switch simply doesn't exist.

Bluebird1927

Tried it literally hundreds of times over the last ten years. Carried it off maybe once. It's like a vampire trying to stick to one blood capsule a day, eventually the thirst takes over

DylanS

Lol - I like the analogy, Bluebird. Never heard it put that way.

Bluebird1927

Ha ha thanks, came to me this morning and is very true.

thisisme

I have never tried moderation.
I have seen the results a thousand times when an alchoholic goes back out and the results are always the same.
Forums like this one allow me to "go there" and come back.

I will never moderate poison.

DaveT

I never drank like a Gentleman , one was never enough and a thousand too many. I conceded to my innermost self that i was an Alcoholic. Moderation is not an option for me. Tried and tried and tried and tried.... Did I say tried ? But only when I decided i had taken enough beatings did the beatings stop , i quit getting in the ring with alcohol and threw in the towel, oh sweet surrender !

NYCDoglvr

Moderation? This alcoholic is powerless over alcohol. I can not drink today, but once I pick up a drink I have no control over how much or what happens. Alcoholism isn't a rational disease (but it is a mental illness) -- how many times did I say I was having one drink only to end up in a blackout or vomiting?

whiskeyman

I did moderation every time I drank. But after the fifth it was out the window

PhaseTwo

If I try to moderate I know exactly what will happen. The first day I will probably be able to moderate and drink only a couple beers. The next day at some point I will think to myself that was enjoyable, but a six pack would be even more enjoyable. The third day I'd wake up with a hangover and start drinking basically immediately to get rid of it and continue all day. I think of myself as a rational person but when it comes to drinking I will forget the goal of 'moderation' I made to myself only two days ago.

pinktee18

I tried moderating on the 4th of July and just kept on going and ending up doing cocaine to end the night. Moderation and me don't work because once I start it's hard to stop going especially if everyone else is.

Eddiebuckle

From the time I went to college at 18 until I quit at 43, I just drank. I didn't see any point in moderation, because moderation didn't give me what I wanted. I had no significant consequences, so why would I change how I drank? Over time, my circle of friends was non-existent, my girlfriend left and I lost my job. It wasn't until suicide and quitting were roughly equal options to my problems that I decided to try my version of moderation.

I haven't had a drink since, because I know in my heart of hearts that I just can't stop once I start. And much to my surprise, I don't want to risk this sober life I now have, it's so much more than I expected. Not every day is happy, but each day is worthwhile.