What it means to "Have Enough"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
What it means to "Have Enough"
I just had my first hot shower in a month. I took my time - obviously - and did some thinking. And it never once occurred to me that I didn't have "enough". Quite the opposite, in fact. I was grateful.
Over the past 20 years, I've NEVER had enough. I made good money - great money - but even when I was promoted and given a raise, it wasn't enough. I was happy when my boss was fired because that meant I would get paid more. I had a great girlfriend, but after a while that wasn't enough either. I needed other women. Nearly broke up a marriage and in the process also screwed up my own relationship.
It goes without saying I never had enough alcohol. I needed a full bottle of vodka in the freezer just in case my supply ran out. And of course the wine rack needed to be stacked. A six pack of beer in the fridge was needed for backup. Yet I still NEVER had enough.
Fast forward to nearly one year sober. I met a great girl last week and we traveled around Guatemala for a while. Got my first kiss in a year. Last night I had beans and rice for dinner, talked about Central American politics and culture with a friend. This morning I walked to a coffee shop, through a historic park, and sipped on a cafe-con-leche. I have breakfast on the way, fruit, beans, eggs. And this morning I had my first hot shower in a month.
And that's enough, for me. In fact, I have more than enough. I have plenty.
Quitting drinking is just the first step in a long journey towards true happiness. It's learning to develop a new philosophy. You don't need to LOWER your standards - you just need to CHANGE them. Being sober doesn't mean that you will always feel empty. Maybe you just need to change the definition of what "enough" really means to you.
Over the past 20 years, I've NEVER had enough. I made good money - great money - but even when I was promoted and given a raise, it wasn't enough. I was happy when my boss was fired because that meant I would get paid more. I had a great girlfriend, but after a while that wasn't enough either. I needed other women. Nearly broke up a marriage and in the process also screwed up my own relationship.
It goes without saying I never had enough alcohol. I needed a full bottle of vodka in the freezer just in case my supply ran out. And of course the wine rack needed to be stacked. A six pack of beer in the fridge was needed for backup. Yet I still NEVER had enough.
Fast forward to nearly one year sober. I met a great girl last week and we traveled around Guatemala for a while. Got my first kiss in a year. Last night I had beans and rice for dinner, talked about Central American politics and culture with a friend. This morning I walked to a coffee shop, through a historic park, and sipped on a cafe-con-leche. I have breakfast on the way, fruit, beans, eggs. And this morning I had my first hot shower in a month.
And that's enough, for me. In fact, I have more than enough. I have plenty.
Quitting drinking is just the first step in a long journey towards true happiness. It's learning to develop a new philosophy. You don't need to LOWER your standards - you just need to CHANGE them. Being sober doesn't mean that you will always feel empty. Maybe you just need to change the definition of what "enough" really means to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
well said. since Is topped drinking almost 2.5 years ago I learned a lot. Especially gratitude for the things I have. I always had what I needed, just never saw it. Now it is funny how less you really need to be happy and content. It took me a long time to get there.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: California
Posts: 228
Lovely post, big sombrero. It's so true. When you quit drinking you're able to realize the extravagant beauty in simple things, like hot shower and a cafe con leche. I love it!
One thing I desperately fear in sobriety is travel, so I'm glad it's going well for you. I've been thinking about planning a trip to Paris and London, but I'm throwing myself a little pity party because if I can't enjoy the Bordeaux, then what's the friggin' point in leaving the house? If I can't down a few pints in London, then why go?
I realize it's my AV that's been planning drinking tours of the world and not my curious self that wants to experience new places and different cultures. In fact, there is so much to see and do and it's the simple things you mentioned that are more than enough.
One thing I desperately fear in sobriety is travel, so I'm glad it's going well for you. I've been thinking about planning a trip to Paris and London, but I'm throwing myself a little pity party because if I can't enjoy the Bordeaux, then what's the friggin' point in leaving the house? If I can't down a few pints in London, then why go?
I realize it's my AV that's been planning drinking tours of the world and not my curious self that wants to experience new places and different cultures. In fact, there is so much to see and do and it's the simple things you mentioned that are more than enough.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Originally Posted by WhiteFeathers 
Lovely post, big sombrero. It's so true. When you quit drinking you're able to realize the extravagant beauty in simple things, like hot shower and a cafe con leche. I love it!
One thing I desperately fear in sobriety is travel, so I'm glad it's going well for you. I've been thinking about planning a trip to Paris and London, but I'm throwing myself a little pity party because if I can't enjoy the Bordeaux, then what's the friggin' point in leaving the house? If I can't down a few pints in London, then why go?
I realize it's my AV that's been planning drinking tours of the world and not my curious self that wants to experience new places and different cultures. In fact, there is so much to see and do and it's the simple things you mentioned that are more than enough.
One thing I desperately fear in sobriety is travel, so I'm glad it's going well for you. I've been thinking about planning a trip to Paris and London, but I'm throwing myself a little pity party because if I can't enjoy the Bordeaux, then what's the friggin' point in leaving the house? If I can't down a few pints in London, then why go?
I realize it's my AV that's been planning drinking tours of the world and not my curious self that wants to experience new places and different cultures. In fact, there is so much to see and do and it's the simple things you mentioned that are more than enough.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: far away
Posts: 392
Yeah man. !! That's what I call sobriety !
I mean ravelling and taking things in being chilled enough in your own skin. It sounds like ultimate freedom being able to explore a country and truelly savour it.
I'm hoping to do India in January for a month , will need to make sure there is a meeting nearby right enough.
Peace x
I mean ravelling and taking things in being chilled enough in your own skin. It sounds like ultimate freedom being able to explore a country and truelly savour it.
I'm hoping to do India in January for a month , will need to make sure there is a meeting nearby right enough.
Peace x
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
My phrase is, "never satisfied".
I recall as a child never getting
what I asked for or what I wanted.
Not even from Santa Claus.
I think all this stemmed down from
having a sick parent who with held
those things, important and not so
important to me, as her many ways
to abuse me.
We learn as a child from those that
we look up to or depend on for guidance,
love, care, and when it's not given or is
taken away, we take those learned behaviors
with us into adult lives.
All my life Ive never been quite satisfied.
Never quite happy. There was always something
missing and I used to drink over it until I
got into recovery 22 yrs ago.
Recovery has taught me many important
lessons in life about myself as well as
addiction and how it nearly destroyed
me because of selfishness and resentments.
Today, as I continue on my recovery
journey, I continue to remain openminded,
willing and honest in all my affairs and
remain teachable about some of those
lessons I still find hard to learn.
Most of all, today, I am grateful, appreciative
and blessed to finally be somewhat satisfied
in many areas of my life.
This "little princess" who sometimes is
still never satisfied with getting my own
way, will continue to turn it over to the
Man upstairs for guidance and understanding
so that I can continue to receive what I need
and not what I want.
I recall as a child never getting
what I asked for or what I wanted.
Not even from Santa Claus.
I think all this stemmed down from
having a sick parent who with held
those things, important and not so
important to me, as her many ways
to abuse me.
We learn as a child from those that
we look up to or depend on for guidance,
love, care, and when it's not given or is
taken away, we take those learned behaviors
with us into adult lives.
All my life Ive never been quite satisfied.
Never quite happy. There was always something
missing and I used to drink over it until I
got into recovery 22 yrs ago.
Recovery has taught me many important
lessons in life about myself as well as
addiction and how it nearly destroyed
me because of selfishness and resentments.
Today, as I continue on my recovery
journey, I continue to remain openminded,
willing and honest in all my affairs and
remain teachable about some of those
lessons I still find hard to learn.
Most of all, today, I am grateful, appreciative
and blessed to finally be somewhat satisfied
in many areas of my life.
This "little princess" who sometimes is
still never satisfied with getting my own
way, will continue to turn it over to the
Man upstairs for guidance and understanding
so that I can continue to receive what I need
and not what I want.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Great story.
Addictions are often described as "the disease of more." Sobriety gives us an opportunity to appreciate what we have instead of the constant and painful struggle to get things we don't have.
Addictions are often described as "the disease of more." Sobriety gives us an opportunity to appreciate what we have instead of the constant and painful struggle to get things we don't have.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Beautiful post...and I really think I understand it..finally. Nothing was enough..nothing filled up the hole..in fact, I think each fill made it bigger, hungrier and more urgent and anxious. So I've stopped filling...and I'm learning how to be still..and it's alright : )
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Great post, bigsombrero. You too Nuudawn, and others.
Enduring gratitude for being real in the now is always such an awesome sweet spot no matter whatever the situations in our life journey. Nothing satisfies like knowing at a gut-level one is right with themselves for what is rather then chase for what might have been, could of been, should have been.
This says it all for me since living the sober life:
"My Cup Runneth Over" -- Old Testament (Psalm 23)
Enduring gratitude for being real in the now is always such an awesome sweet spot no matter whatever the situations in our life journey. Nothing satisfies like knowing at a gut-level one is right with themselves for what is rather then chase for what might have been, could of been, should have been.
This says it all for me since living the sober life:
"My Cup Runneth Over" -- Old Testament (Psalm 23)
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
Nothing satisfies like knowing at a gut-level one is right with themselves for what is rather then chase for what might have been, could of been, should have been.
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