BullDog777

No, I don't really think I was getting antsy. I went from being very busy and complacent to hurting my back in a fall, an not rehabbing it the way I should have. that led to extreme exhaustion and an inability to sleep. then, i was off to the races.

Waterforme

Glad to see you back and on the path to sobriety again! I remember reading a lot of your posts when I first joined this site and found them be very inspirational/helpful.

BullDog777

I felt pretty bad today, but I jogged 4 miles,hit the boflex and took my daughter to the park. Every muscle in my body hurts and I'm not sure if i'll sleep tonight, but i'm grateful I made progress. God bless, the nights are so long without sleep. ugh.....

TheEnd

You'll make it buddy I believe in you. I was just reading some of my old threads when I was deep in the trenches and couldn't see my head from my ass. I like to remember where I was, so I never go back. You were there for me then and I'm here for you.

BullDog777

thanks man. I know you are. love you dude.

EndGameNYC

I was all kinds of crazy when I first got sober, and a good night's sleep was not an option.

Physical activity seemed to help a lot, and I also spent a great deal of my newly-found surplus time in AA meetings. I got tremendous support, and it was great to learn that so many different people suffered from the same condition. I couldn't have done it on my own.

People would often tell me, "It gets better." And they were right. Embracing the idea that things certainly couldn't get worse than I'd already made them took me through much of the turbulence in early sobriety, and helped put my mind at ease.

AA is often described as a religious program, and it clearly states that it offers a spiritual solution for a spiritual malady. What I learned was that this only required me to be open to the possibility that there is a power greater than myself. Early on, I was able to build pockets of solace by embracing karma, that what we put out in life is eventually returned in the same way.

Though I often did not sleep, I at least was able to lie down and rest with some peace of mind that I had never known.

I wish you the same.

BullDog777

my dad used to say, "the sun's gotta shine on a dog's ass every once in awhile".

I don't know if it was the exercise or the unisom I took over the sheer exhaustion and God's awesome grace, but I slept a full 6 hours last night.

I feel like a new man.

Back to work on my new life. I'll check back in later this afternoon. I have a ton of stuff to do today. I feel so grateful for the rest. thanks for all the support.

RobbyRobot

Peter G

Pulling for you bro.

BullDog777

checking in......the last couple of days, it seems like all I wanna do is work out. it's the only thing that curbs the anxiety and quiets the regret. i'm so sore right now. omg....

the fight goes on. i'm so glad i'm still in it.

BullDog777

I slept like a rock last night. unisom and exercise is really helping a lot. Today, i'm taking my daughter to see my parents. have a good day people. i'll check back in later.
I may just add to my blog daily if there's nothing major going on, so check that to. It's good to be back.

SSIL75

BD! Sorry to hear you are having trouble. I'm so glad you are on the way back.

It is hard, I know. Drinking is not on my horizon atm but I have been fighting a 'pain mgt' battle for some time now. It's a mindf*ck to say the least.

john44

I understand your reticence to taking benzos since getting off that merry-go-'round. I had a problem with Xanax. Took them, pretty much as prescribed for over 4 years. When I got sober the first time, I stopped taking them and alcohol at the same time. My withdrawals last about a month and were horrendous. I relapsed a couple times after that but thank God never took Xanax again. The last time I detoxed was at a detox/rehab and was detoxed using valium. What a difference! After induction, I was slowly tapered after a day and a half, never suffered any withdrawal from the valium and was actually pretty comfortable through the alcohol withdrawal...and I was in pretty bad shape. Those people really worked a miracle with me and I'm sober now, working a program every day and extremely grateful.

BullDog777

I'm glad to hear you made it through and are benzo/alcohol free. For me, I was addicted to klonopin, serax, valium, and Xanax when I first got sober 4 years ago. that detox dam near killed me. did I taper or do it right? no, I didn't. It also scared me enough to never want to have anything to do with that class of meds ever again. I even have a med id alert bracelet for them.

This relapse with booze was horribly difficult for me. Any question that I ever had about going back is now gone. While this detox didn't take as long, it was extremely hard to come clean to my friends and family to be able to accept help. I'm glad I did. I'm very grateful to be comfortable today and most of yesterday. I know there are hard days ahead, but I know facing them sober will be far easier than the alternative.

BullDog777

i'm just checking in. the holiday was uneventful. I just worked out and did family stuff.
sleep is decent, and i'm trying to get motivated to get some work done. no desires at all. I just want to distance myself from that relapse as best I can and keep moving forward. that is all.

TheEnd

Keep moving forward and stay positive...It will be behind you in no time.!

artsoul

Glad you're starting to feel better, BullDog - keep up the good work!

BullDog777

today was a good day. I went on a hike with my wife and daughter and have been watching the walking dead marathon all evening. no desires to drink. I'm so grateful for my family. night all.

RobbyRobot

Awesome. You're getting it done, BullDog. Outstanding!

ru12

I'm glad you made it back! You are sober today and that is all we have: today.