PAR

I think about that all the time. It scares me, really. A little voice inside my head telling me to just get a 6 pack of tall boys, it's no big deal. Of course, I know it is. what really prevents me from doing so is the anxiety and guilt that would follow and lead to more drinking...

alphaomega

Oh God the wine while cooking.

I used to think I loved to cook. Now I wonder if it was just my excuse to drink and drink and drink.

Soberpotamus

Ha! Yep Was definitely one of my excuses.

Carlotta

I am blessed that the obsession has been lifted and that I have absolutely no desire to drink. That's definitely your AV at work. One useful suggestion they make in AA is to run the movie till its end. If you catch yourself fantasizing about relapse, continue your visualization and see the day after, the consequences etc.
I really do believe in the laws of attraction and that we tend to materialize what we think intently about. Have you read the secret? Starting on meditation might give you some tools to help you get rid of those "daydreams".

ElegantlyWasted

So get it. I find myself fantasizing about doing business meetings/interviews at a bar. I'll let it happen and pass. I could get away with it (actually living it out) a couple times or even a year, but I would most likely ultimately implode sooner or later... So not gonna' do it.

Fallow

Yes it happens to me still. Sometimes my visualizations are so vivid I can almost taste it. I drank all types of alcohols, whiskey, wine and beers and I fantasize on them all time to time.

Usually it is about an event in the future for me. I dismiss those ideas easier I have found as time goes on. I try not to romanticize too long but I do not fear the thought of drinking.

I hope the thoughts go away someday but I take comfort in the fact that even if they do not leave, they are just thoughts.

I do not have to act on them.

newman23

That's how I've been feeling all day. I spent 3 days in the hospital for a safe detox and am on day 6. It's been a struggle today mostly. My father works the overnight tonight and my grandma stays in her room during the night. Sort of feels like "freedom to relax and drink". I could do it just tonight and be back on abstaining on Saturday.

I just think, what's the point? If I could really just do it one night, why even bother doing it at all? I've lived thousands of "one more night"s, and I have the option to not get back on that train. Plus if I drink, any progress I've made the last few days are all gone, down the toilet, and I may not come back off it like others mentioned. My liver is irritated, and I'd be risking a path of some serious trouble.

Thanks for letting me vent. Tossing these thoughts around on here really helped me, and I can certainly relate. As mentioned by a previous poster, I just need to learn to accept these thoughts and learn I don't have to act on them. Giving into these fantasies just isn't worth it.

john44

I try to think about how relapsing now would basically be spitting in the faces of all the people, my family, my friends who have helped me over and over to get sober. It would also be spitting in the face of my previous self who suffered greatly through withdrawals, shaking and crawling to the point of sobriety. I'm sorry...I feel too good now to throw that away for a few minutes of numbness.

LiveforToday22

Aaahhh yes, I find myself doing this all the time. But I always tell on myself to my sponsor or at a meeting. I usually get what I needed to hear