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Long term sobriety without AA??

Old 06-27-2013, 10:24 AM
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As you can see there are many of us here who recover fully without using AA.

I firmly believe that it's the motivation you have which determines whether or not you will succeed in recovery, not the program itself.

For me, it was books in the beginning as I began to find my way. Then I found SR and it has been a lifeline for me. I have 12 1/2 years of recovery.

Believe that you can recover any way you choose that works for you.
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Old 06-27-2013, 10:51 AM
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Two years next month. I went to 3 AA meetings and that was enough for me. To be fair, I had already quit drinking by that point and was just trying to make it as easy as possible for myself. The withdrawal symptoms fixed themselves and I decided that I was going to do the same.

For me, it was a belief in myself that allowed me to become and remain sober.
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Old 06-27-2013, 11:08 AM
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I've been sober since 12/77. I know a lot of people who are no longer active in AA and are doing fine. I know a lot of people who started drinking again. Some of them got sober again, some are still drinking, but most I've haven't heard from again. All I know is what step 12 tells me to do.
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Old 06-27-2013, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Grungehead View Post
staying connected .
Forgive me Grungehead for quoting that tiny soundbite from your eloquent response. But for some reason, that spoke volumes to me as being incredibly key.
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Old 06-27-2013, 03:34 PM
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I went to AA early on in my sobriety, like the 1st 3-4 months and it really, really helped! I agree with Anna however. Motivation has been the key in keeping sober. Between reading numerous books and discovering SR, it has allowed me to continue staying sober and not really attend AA anymore.

My sober date is Feb 4 2011. Almost 2 years and 6 months.
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Old 06-27-2013, 03:56 PM
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The illustration below is my life exactly.

If you make up your mind to quit drinking and your life is great I can't relate to you anymore than I can relate to a normal person. And you cannot relate to me either, you do not understand me at all. We are 2 different animals... make no mistake (IMHO)

The folks here have to come to terms which kind of alcoholic you truly are and take the appropriate path.

Anyway .. here is the illustration. See if you can identify. If you can you are an alcoholic like me.

All the best.

Bob R


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Old 06-27-2013, 04:08 PM
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Thank you for all the posts everyone. I do take tools away from AA and liked what one poster said about why not use every thing we can. We are all individuals and I am learning that we all approach sobriety in different ways but the main theme is we are all working towards a better quality of life. This site has always been a blessing to me.

Yes, Bob, that picture sums up my drinking too. However me saying my life has never been better and that I work on myself daily and feeling really good about things does not mean that I am spiraling out of control and about to hit my bottom with 2+ years sober. I know that you mean well but I think you really help to detour people from AA with that kind of outlook and attitude. It's not an AA saying but you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but I know you are trying to help so I respect that and thank you.
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Old 06-27-2013, 05:04 PM
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preaching and brow-beating have never appealed to me....I'm "that" kind of alcoholic, but thankfully no one slapped a label on me in 2010..or i never would have stayed.

I've been here at SR for 3+ years (for those taking attendance)....it was up and down for a while, but ultimately the support and kindness from others helped me achieve real sobriety....I flet that I was accountable to people here and that made me more accountable in real life.

we have choices we can follow here....that is such a gift for most new people without more pressure that they are NOT doing sober correctly.

rws, congrats on your accomplishments too.
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Old 06-27-2013, 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by rws177 View Post
Yes, Bob, that picture sums up my drinking too. However me saying my life has never been better and that I work on myself daily and feeling really good about things does not mean that I am spiraling out of control and about to hit my bottom with 2+ years sober. I know that you mean well but I think you really help to detour people from AA with that kind of outlook and attitude. It's not an AA saying but you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but I know you are trying to help so I respect that and thank you.
I guess I missed the point of your original post. If I did, I apologize. What was the point?
If you are saying you are doing great without AA then I wish you well. It doesn't pertain to me nor the alcoholics that HOW IT WORKS was written for.
You are indeed blessed.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 06-27-2013, 06:01 PM
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I just met another sober person the other day, had a talk over coffee about our recovery. She (8yrs) was surprised I could be 2.5 years sober without AA or meetings. When asked what I do, I hadn't much of a response, but after thinking about it...

There's not a lot I was doing in AA that I'm not doing now. Accept powerlessness over my addiction? Check. I have a spiritual life. I keep tabs on my personal ethics, make amends to keep myself humble and in relations. There's not the rigor of step work or the fellowship, of course, so it's only approximate.

I also went through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy years ago. Did that for mental health reasons, but DBT is often used with persons with addiction problems. It's also a great help when I need help in sobriety.

I think AA is a wonderful program; I'm glad for it and my time in it. Just wasn't something that was best to carry me through personally in the long run. Above all I agree with everyone who's said that the best recovery program is the one that keeps you sober.
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Old 06-27-2013, 06:07 PM
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When AA was established in 1935, communication was limited. The fact that an organization was established where people could come together to heal..is nothing short of a miracle. It was a wonderous thing. I really believe that was what ole Bill intended..a community and a coming together where people understood and heard each other.

Today we are blessed with so many other options and modes of communication. Places of like SR has only taken that brilliance further. The internet has created a worldwide healing community where we can come together here and celebrate each other's successes and pick one another up after a fall. There is more than one answers these days..Halle-frickin-lujah! I'm sure ole Bill would be pleased.
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Old 06-27-2013, 06:13 PM
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Originally Posted by 2granddaughters View Post
I guess I missed the point of your original post. If I did, I apologize. What was the point?
If you are saying you are doing great without AA then I wish you well. It doesn't pertain to me nor the alcoholics that HOW IT WORKS was written for.
You are indeed blessed.

All the best.

Bob R
AA actually provides a very wide, very broad arch of support for many different types and flavors of alcoholics.
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Old 06-27-2013, 06:18 PM
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Yeah, I went to one AA meeting. Was totally bizarre, cultish and full of people I wanted nothing at all to do with. I wouldn't have gone anywhere near those kind of people before my problem with alcohol escalated, and now that I am sober and have got my life back, I see no reason why I would suddenly want to associate with people like that.

And yeah, I know, it works for some people, etc.

Another thing; I honestly don't see what AA can offer better than what you can find online, in far greater detail, now that the whole world is involved in social networking. This very website is testament to that.

Not hating on AA at all, but that is my experience and opinion.
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Old 06-27-2013, 06:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Nuudawn View Post
When AA was established in 1935, communication was limited. The fact that an organization was established where people could come together to heal..is nothing short of a miracle. It was a wonderous thing. I really believe that was what ole Bill intended..a community and a coming together where people understood and heard each other.

Today we are blessed with so many other options and modes of communication. Places of like SR has only taken that brilliance further. The internet has created a worldwide healing community where we can come together here and celebrate each other's successes and pick one another up after a fall. There is more than one answers these days..Halle-frickin-lujah! I'm sure ole Bill would be pleased.
Adding to my previous post; I agree with this entirely. Well said.

The revolution is here, and it is the internet.
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Old 06-27-2013, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by TDInstall View Post
Yeah, I went to one AA meeting. Was totally bizarre, cultish and full of people I wanted nothing at all to do with. I wouldn't have gone anywhere near those kind of people before my problem with alcohol escalated, and now that I am sober and have got my life back, I see no reason why I would suddenly want to associate with people like that.

And yeah, I know, it works for some people, etc.

Another thing; I honestly don't see what AA can offer better than what you can find online, in far greater detail, now that the whole world is involved in social networking. This very website is testament to that.

Not hating on AA at all, but that is my experience and opinion.
If your opinion is based on one experience, it's not a real fair shake. And this is from a person who has a lot of criticisms toward some AA members and their attitudes. I've been to many different meetings and some have indeed been cultish. Some AAers seem to take the concept of powerlessness to levels never intended by the founders of the program. I've seen some very sick people in some of "the rooms". I've also met many very caring, vibrant people who have recovered fully from this disease. These are the people of whom I can say "I want what they have".
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Old 06-27-2013, 06:45 PM
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I know one man 30 years sober and another 10 years sober and neither one has ever been to an AA meeting. I'm coming up on 3 years sober and go to meetings regularly. I like the fellowship, but I am not sure if I'll ever complete the steps. I choose to stay sober. If you want to stay sober, you will. Rootin for ya.
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Old 06-27-2013, 07:07 PM
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My godfather has over 30 years sober without AA and is a kind spiritual man. I need the fellowship and face to face support and I like the steps so I plan to keep on going because it's the right thing for me
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Old 06-27-2013, 07:11 PM
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Originally Posted by 2granddaughters View Post
If you make up your mind to quit drinking and your life is great I can't relate to you anymore than I can relate to a normal person. And you cannot relate to me either, you do not understand me at all. We are 2 different animals... make no mistake (IMHO)

The folks here have to come to terms which kind of alcoholic you truly are and take the appropriate path.

Anyway .. here is the illustration. See if you can identify. If you can you are an alcoholic like me.

All the best.

Bob R

Is that for the "real" alcoholics they talk about in Chapter 3? Does that mean the rest of us are just "fake" alcoholics?
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Old 06-27-2013, 07:16 PM
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Let's not move from the sublime to the ridiculous.

SR works best when everyone sticks to sharing their own experience, and resists the temptation to hold forth about other peoples experiences....

thanks

D
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Old 06-27-2013, 07:46 PM
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Firstly, to get and stay sober you have to really want it and work at it. You have to examine the reasons why we drink in the first place. We have to face our fears and insecurities. We have to rid ourselves of our anger and resentments and push ourselves beyond our comfort zones and persue new territories we would never consider before. We have to address our characters flaws and open our minds to new ways of thinking.

I learned to do this in AA. Again, the only gig around. This is where I was informed and guided through the process. I stayed in AA for 2 years then left for various reasons. I have been sober without AA for 7 years. 9 years and the majority of it without AA. However, I still use the foundation and the process of the program in my daily practice. Not a day goes by where I don't think and reflect back on where I was and how far I have come. I have worked too hard to get back what I lost. Losing all that for a drink, no way.

I've overcome many challenges, sober. I used to think I needed booze for strength, but I was so wrong. I was so weak while drinking. I had zero coping skills. I am stronger without it, tenfold. I don't need booze in the slightest. I accept that I can't drink and I handle what life has to bring me, sober.

Everyday I remind myself I'm only one bad decision away from landing at the bottom. The beast of addiction only slumbers. Once we feed it, it emerges with a vengence. To play it safe, I never feed it.

The best I can add is never lose sight of what we can accomplish and the truth. The truth being we can never drink again. If we fool ourselves into believe othewise, chaos will ensue in a very short time.

So, yes, I believe people can stay sober without AA, but I know I need to work on my sobriety daily.
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