Justfor1

I sometimes feel that being a alcoholic is the only identity that I have. I am comfortable and use to that label. Society has branded me that label so why not accept it? The majority of people today still do not believe that alcoholism is a disease and any recovering person who believes that they do is in deep denial.

Justfor1

[QUOTE=TheEnd;4038380]You had a similar thread back in January entitled "Is Sobriety Really Worth It...????" People will probably give you similar answers that they gave you back then.What are you really looking for?

I'm looking for people who can relate to me. I will ask the same question again and again if I have to. I'm not here to make other people happy. I'm here to stay sober because my life depends on it.

CupofJoe

Hi Just,

I hear you on how hard it can be to stay sober. It can be a struggle, at first anyway, and of course it would be nice to have a newer car and a nice apartment.

But I know I had to separate sobriety from everything else in my life.

Sobriety is not picking up a drink.

It's what I choose to do afterwards that defines my life. But sobriety has nothing to do with cars, apartments, money, etc. It can make it easier to get those things, but heck, I've been sober for a little over 3 years and live in a tiny apartment with a 13 year old car that gets broken into every couple of months because I live in a sketchy neighborhood. But that has nothing to do with my sobriety. That's how I'm living.

Sobriety is of value to me because I get to live fully in the present, to be grateful to be alive, even if it's hard sometimes. As far as I'm concerned, to drink is to die--and I don't want that.

I fully accepted my identity as an alcoholic, too. It's just that I'm a sober alcoholic now.

Can you think of some small things that are better when you don't drink? Things that you're grateful for that come as a result of not drinking? Things you don't ever want to go through again because of your drinking?

I suspect you wouldn't keep coming back here if you didn't want to stay sober. I wonder if the alcoholic voice/addiction is trying to drown out the part of you that desperately wants to stay sober and is trying to find your way.

As always, I wish you the best. I feel your struggle and hope you know there is a way out.

Threshold

Sobriety wasn't what I expected. And while I didn't want to keep being a drunk addict, I felt sorta cheated.

But people told me it was worth is, so I kept at it. Sobriety didn't get me back my stuff, or my former life. But I see now that I don't really want that, it fit at the time, but it's out of style and out of date for me now.

I guess it's like getting an education. I can get my butt in school and sit in class, but if I don't do the work, and take the initiative to learn, I don't really "get" educated.

And heck, even doing the work and getting the degree doesn't guarantee me a job, but..I HAVE the education, the skills and knowledge and my brain has been developed and even if I can't use all those skills the way I hoped in the position I anticipated, I can apply them all sorts of other ways and do some cool things (I know this for a fact).

So, sobriety has been like that for me. For awhile I sat in class and listened to some boring lectures, and it wasn't worth it. Then I took some initiative and realized that if I learned the stuff and did the stuff it could be good for MY life. And even now, things aren't the way I thought they would be, but they're not bad either, and some of it's pretty awesome...just like anyone's life.

I went through a period of mourning for my active addiction days. There were things I missed, including an identity I knew how to do very well. But I grieved it, and moved on, because the present is where the action is. Looking back was getting me nowhere.

I don't mind if you ask the same question over and over again, because if that is what you need to do...and other people come here and are thinking the same thing, so it helps them as well.

As always, glad you're here.

Mountainmanbob

LDT

Justfor1....

Not trying to debate you here......because we all understand how hard getting and staying sober can be. In the 2 years I've been here, I've never read a thread or post that said " Gee, getting sober was way easier than I thought it would be." It's labor intensive, and sometimes it's just flat out annoying, boring and depressing.

But NEVER for a second have I thought it was "overrated".... because it simply is not. Once you experience the peace that comes with living authentically and being sober, then it will not matter where you live, what you do or do not have, or what society "labels" you. Because all you will have is all you will need. I agree with CupofJoe,..."To drink is to die".... and I'm just not ready.

upandup

A journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. No one can walk it for you. Don't like the map to get where you're going? Fine. Use a different map. Lots of 'em out there. AA, AVRT, CBT, a whole alphabet soup to pick from. Don't like any of them? Fine. Plot your own course. Sitting along side the road ain't going to get you any closer to where you want to go. What are you doing to reconcile your thoughts and move forward?

Boleo

That's pretty much how I felt when I was simply not-drinkin. Then I discovered the benefits of having a Spiritual Awakening. In fact, the benefits are so great, that I would now say "Not-drinkin has nothing to do with why I am sober today".

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ecovering.html

gaffo

For myself, it's the drinking that was overrated. It doesn't really seem to do any of the good stuff that is promised for me, at least not well. Two examples of this are alcohol induced sleep or for self medicating depression but of course there are many, many more.

I have almost two years in now and I feel like I am still cleaning up after some of the questionable choices that I made as a self identified alcoholic. I honestly wonder what took me so long but I know that it was very seductive to me and I thought that I would never be able to quit.

The power that I feel from shaking that bad monkey off my back cannot be overrated. Life can be a b*tch but drinking won't help me.

DoubleBarrel

[QUOTE=Justfor1;4038896] Only an alcoholic could convince himself that he has dug such a tremendous hole drinking that the only cure is more alcohol, the very thing that caused the hole in the first place.


Definition of insanity.

Elisabeth888

If we keep drinking we will die. Drinking for alcoholics is just a slow suicide.

My 41 year old cousin drank herself into liver failure.

Db1105

No.

caboblanco

I don't think sobriety is overrated, however I don't think drinking alcohol is all bad and evil as most recovering alcoholics wold have you think. Just because it's bad for you doesn't mean it bad for everyone else

LazyBonez

If you drank like me, then just remember all the anxiety all the time... and worrying about when you can have your next drink... having to go to work everyday with the shakes and sweats... leaving work early often just to hurry and drink... even drinking on the job sometimes. having to hide your drinking so people don't know how much you really drink. and I can't emphasize enough on the withdrawals. I'm not worried about dying young or causing damage to me... we all have to die, and our bodies will fall apart... but jeesh the withdrawals are ******* terrible. And you cause damage to people that care about you. I'd rather be sober, and at least somewhat more comfortable in this body. I'd rather not be shaking/sweating and full of anxiety all the time. And I'd rather not spend all my money on booze and other drugs.

If anything, sobriety is underrated. More people are addicted to something than completely sober that's for sure. Especially here in america. of course some lucky assholes can moderate and only drink/use sometimes.... I can't comprehend that.

bloss

No, wish I'd become sober earlier, it's a gift

Carlotta

I am an alcoholic and accept it but this is not my identity. I am an alcoholic the same way some people have diabetes, or blue eyes. It is what it is, I work on my recovery so I can stay well but there is much more to me than just being an alkie. I am also a friend, an activist, a worker, a daughter, an animal lover etc.
Last night I had a wonderful evening: read a new library book, treated myself to dinner outside and took a bubble bath. I went to bed early and woke up this morning hangover free and ready to seize the day.
This sure beats slamming booze and obsessing about suicide all evening and waking up hungover and puking. For me, sobriety is not overrated and definitely worth it.

Happier

Below are some thoughts I had. They are my opinion only and not meant to offend or cause harm:

Sobriety is not over rated.

Drinking is over rated.

You seem concerned about how society views your condition and how it has labeled you. I prefer to acknowledge that what others think of me is none of my business and I will not grant it any power over my life.

We each choose our own identity. No one or nothing else does. I personally believe that God has a beautiful, personal, and perfect identity for each of us. However, even He makes it clear that is is our choice whether or not to accept it. That is free will and it is a just and great blessing.

lillyknitting

[QUOTE=Justfor1;4038896] It doesn't have to be. You can be what you want to be, a sober person. It gets better with time, we must give it time. I've had loads of mental cravings this week, I know it's av in my head telling me to drink. Try and ignore it, do something different, change your habits, change your lifestyle, but don't drink. Everything is better if we don't drink.

Justfor1

This last month of sobriety I have been miserable. I am discovering that I have a problem with gambling, in addition, to my extensive substance use. I lost half my paycheck betting on a few horse races at the off track betting. I had a "good feeling" about a 30 to 1 long shot. After I lost the bet I told myself that it's cheaper just to drink. I guess I'm a dry drunk right now.

ClearLight

Is sobriety over rated?

Seems like it is for you. Drink up! Everything will suddenly be wonderful again.