Recovery friends
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Buffalo,NY
Posts: 42
Recovery friends
I am wondering if anyone is interested in sharing with me the experiences we are having with recovery from alcohol without going to AA. I am following a program, using several books that I have found including one self paced workbook. I am trying to find someone that wishes to exchange PM's and get to know each other and help each other with the rough spots. I have not had a drink in 80 days…! It is my intention to not drink ever again..
I have gone to AA and believe it is a wonderful program, right now it is not for me. I am working hard and relying on the SR boards for support. I hope someday to meet another recovering alcoholic in my area to share with face to face. While AA may not be right for me at this time, I also believe I (we) cannot do it alone, we need an HP ( spirit god, or whatever you see it as) and other people who are sharing the same problems.
Feel free to PM me...if you are interested..
Mike
I have gone to AA and believe it is a wonderful program, right now it is not for me. I am working hard and relying on the SR boards for support. I hope someday to meet another recovering alcoholic in my area to share with face to face. While AA may not be right for me at this time, I also believe I (we) cannot do it alone, we need an HP ( spirit god, or whatever you see it as) and other people who are sharing the same problems.
Feel free to PM me...if you are interested..
Mike
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Most of my recovery from alcoholism is based on Twelve Step principles and philosophy which is practised in AA.
It worked for me and any feed back I have to give would be based on these concepts.
I hope you find a formula that works for you and I hope you find someone online you can identify with.
It worked for me and any feed back I have to give would be based on these concepts.
I hope you find a formula that works for you and I hope you find someone online you can identify with.
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
Thanks for the head's up on this thread, Chy!
Mike, I'm recovering without AA too
Would love to bat this around with you and others although, I hope you will keep something in mind going in. This conversation tends to bring AA lovers out of the woodwork. (Hugs, y'all, no offense!)
And that is good when its beneficial and grounded in mutual respect. And when it's not it's a slugfest. Sorry to break it to you, but watch out! With nearly a year lurking in recovery communities, I have yet to understand this phenomenon. I believe in my gut that people just always want to give the good that they have found. It is a shame that this so often turns into, I'm right so you must be wrong.
Anyway!
I used Recovery by Choice, by Marty Niclaus (unhooked.com), which is a self paced workbook that helps addicts untangle issues on everything from how to learn to stop, to building a new sober lifestyle. It was perfect for me, because I was interested in building a program from scratch which would meet my unique needs.
By the way 80 days is awesome!
Mike, I'm recovering without AA too
Would love to bat this around with you and others although, I hope you will keep something in mind going in. This conversation tends to bring AA lovers out of the woodwork. (Hugs, y'all, no offense!) And that is good when its beneficial and grounded in mutual respect. And when it's not it's a slugfest. Sorry to break it to you, but watch out! With nearly a year lurking in recovery communities, I have yet to understand this phenomenon. I believe in my gut that people just always want to give the good that they have found. It is a shame that this so often turns into, I'm right so you must be wrong.
Anyway!
I used Recovery by Choice, by Marty Niclaus (unhooked.com), which is a self paced workbook that helps addicts untangle issues on everything from how to learn to stop, to building a new sober lifestyle. It was perfect for me, because I was interested in building a program from scratch which would meet my unique needs.
By the way 80 days is awesome!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 122
Mike, MountainGirl,
My own view is whatever works for both of you is cool. 80 something days now is great Mike. Keep doing what you are doing. When you posted this thread I believe that was so positive cause I see it as reaching out and for me that helped me so much.
H
My own view is whatever works for both of you is cool. 80 something days now is great Mike. Keep doing what you are doing. When you posted this thread I believe that was so positive cause I see it as reaching out and for me that helped me so much.
H
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 23
Hi Mike,
Thanks for getting this tread going. I'm also looking for help without AA. No disrespect to those who are into AA. It's just not for me. I recently posted asking for help since I am leaving a support group and am hoping to get ongoing support here. Congrats on your 80 days. Hope we can be support to each other.
You too MountainGirl!
Thanks for getting this tread going. I'm also looking for help without AA. No disrespect to those who are into AA. It's just not for me. I recently posted asking for help since I am leaving a support group and am hoping to get ongoing support here. Congrats on your 80 days. Hope we can be support to each other.
You too MountainGirl!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: laughing at my avatar
Posts: 1,636
Hey guys,
im an addict, but not using NA or 12 steps. nice to meet you all! theres a lot of great stuff out there. i like to do a little of whatever i think will help me out. i like self help books (they dont talk... haha bad joke) and coming here! i say whatever works for you, keep doing it! even if you cant put a name to it... just keep doing it!
hugs and keep rocking!
dot
im an addict, but not using NA or 12 steps. nice to meet you all! theres a lot of great stuff out there. i like to do a little of whatever i think will help me out. i like self help books (they dont talk... haha bad joke) and coming here! i say whatever works for you, keep doing it! even if you cant put a name to it... just keep doing it!
hugs and keep rocking!
dot
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
Hello all,
Ok, I thought it may be helpful (and no one ever stopped me before, wink Jon) if I shared my book list.
Mind you, just buying these books was a committment to me, a comittment to my own desire to get sober (a word I still hate). The first time I bought a book on alcoholism, I had to pretend I was getting it for someone else, and get two food magazines just so I would make myself go through with it! But having resources like this is really important, and worth the public disgrace of buying them from strangers who really don't care.
Sober For Good, Anne M. Fletcher
Addictive Thinking and The Addictive Personality, Twerski, Nakken
The Recovery Book, Mooney, Eisenberg & Eisenberg
Beyond the Influence, Ketcham and Asbury
Recovery by Choice, Marty Nicolaus (already told you all)
Drinking, A Love Story, Caroline Knapp
So far, this library has served all of my needs. Some of them are personal, and some are clinical. Check them out!
hugs,
Ok, I thought it may be helpful (and no one ever stopped me before, wink Jon) if I shared my book list.
Mind you, just buying these books was a committment to me, a comittment to my own desire to get sober (a word I still hate). The first time I bought a book on alcoholism, I had to pretend I was getting it for someone else, and get two food magazines just so I would make myself go through with it! But having resources like this is really important, and worth the public disgrace of buying them from strangers who really don't care.
Sober For Good, Anne M. Fletcher
Addictive Thinking and The Addictive Personality, Twerski, Nakken
The Recovery Book, Mooney, Eisenberg & Eisenberg
Beyond the Influence, Ketcham and Asbury
Recovery by Choice, Marty Nicolaus (already told you all)
Drinking, A Love Story, Caroline Knapp
So far, this library has served all of my needs. Some of them are personal, and some are clinical. Check them out!
hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Buffalo,NY
Posts: 42
Mountaingirl...
that sounds like me, going into the bookstore to buy books about recovery was a huge admission for me. By the time I got to the cash register, I decided I was going to be proud and purchase them with my head up...I was obsesssed with what people around me were going to think, what the cashier would think.
Nobody cared, I am not sure if the cashier even saw the title of "Under the Influence" as I purchased it. I was more aware of what I was doing than anyone around me but it was important.
Mike
that sounds like me, going into the bookstore to buy books about recovery was a huge admission for me. By the time I got to the cash register, I decided I was going to be proud and purchase them with my head up...I was obsesssed with what people around me were going to think, what the cashier would think.
Nobody cared, I am not sure if the cashier even saw the title of "Under the Influence" as I purchased it. I was more aware of what I was doing than anyone around me but it was important.
Mike
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Buffalo,NY
Posts: 42
Morning MG...Nope haven't read any of those yet, I have finished "Under the Influence" read that twice and "Staying Sober"...I have ordered "Recovery by Choice" I should see it Tuesday next week...I also have a workbook called the "Addiction Workbook" by Patrick Fanning that I am intending to start reading and maybe working with...
I saw "Sober for Good" in the bookstore last week, I may pick it up and read it this weekend...
Hi Dot...I agree with you...whatever works is best...I like coming here and reading everything I can, there is so much online...You and many others here are an inspiration to me...
Thank You both...
Mike
p.s. I hate the word 'sober' too...I think I am more interesting and outgoing now than when I was numbed out on alcohol...
I saw "Sober for Good" in the bookstore last week, I may pick it up and read it this weekend...
Hi Dot...I agree with you...whatever works is best...I like coming here and reading everything I can, there is so much online...You and many others here are an inspiration to me...
Thank You both...
Mike
p.s. I hate the word 'sober' too...I think I am more interesting and outgoing now than when I was numbed out on alcohol...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: laughing at my avatar
Posts: 1,636
morning mountain girl and mike! thanks for the list of books. ive got one called The purpose driven life, but i actually havent gotten into it yet... finals are this week, but after that its on! i can relate about the bookstore... sometimes i feel like there is a giant label on my forehead that says "ADDICT". its getting better though! i have always been too chicken to get a recovery book from a bookstore, but you guys have inspired me. plus, i need to get out more. ive ordered some online, but now its time to go check out the bookstore. (((((mike))))) thank you for starting this thread!
hugs and prayers coming your way,
dot
hugs and prayers coming your way,
dot
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
There's nothing wrong with ordering the books online! The reviews are pretty extensive at the bookstore websites, but I always wanted to really check them out closely.
Reading up on recovery has really changed my perspective. I learned a lot about the tendancies in addict families as well, and am guarding against doing that Don't Tell thing in my home. I didn't even realize I was doing it or that it had been done to me until I read about it.
Reading up on recovery has really changed my perspective. I learned a lot about the tendancies in addict families as well, and am guarding against doing that Don't Tell thing in my home. I didn't even realize I was doing it or that it had been done to me until I read about it.
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
Hi Dot,
Well, there is a link that Don posted recently that really says it better than I could. Let's see if I can put it up.
www.getnewvisions.com/selfesteem/course
Well, there is a link that Don posted recently that really says it better than I could. Let's see if I can put it up.
www.getnewvisions.com/selfesteem/course
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
That didn't work, let's try again.
http://www.getnewvisions.com/se/07crse_helpful.html
http://www.getnewvisions.com/se/07crse_helpful.html
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 23
MG - Thanks for posting the book list and the link. I identified a lot with all those things that I was NOT allowed to have as a child. Like feelings and opionions.
Mike - thanks for getting this thread going. You and the people who have posted here are the ones I've been looking for. I believe I don't need AA to stay sober, but I'm not foolish enough to think I can make it alone.
RD
Mike - thanks for getting this thread going. You and the people who have posted here are the ones I've been looking for. I believe I don't need AA to stay sober, but I'm not foolish enough to think I can make it alone.
RD
Last edited by Imgettingbetter; 05-21-2004 at 01:08 PM. Reason: incorrect wording
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