Justfor1

[QUOTE=ElegantlyWasted;4036553) So point being; the laws are what they are, and we ultimately need to use common sense with this stuff.[/QUOTE]

I agree common sense should be used. I think drunk driving is dangerous but the laws seem to continue to target the social drinker or those in the beginning stages of alcoholism. What can the State do to someone who gets their 6th or 10th DUI? They already revoked their license for life yet they continue to drive. Put them in prison? No room and judges have tough decisions. Would society rather have the drunk on the road or the rapist/armed robber in prison???

ElegantlyWasted

I think its just a price of freedom. This stuff is really hard to legislate without collateral damage. I the question to me is what is the greater good. I had friends die from DUI in both high school and college. Giving you're son a brand new Nissan 300 z for his 16th birthday when you know he's a hothead and parties is just moronic in my opinion. From the advanced age of around 40 I can see the bigger picture, but at the time I was a little jealous (Thanks Mom and Dad for saving that 5 year old Volvo Tank from me). How do we legislate putting the parents in Jail and banning certain young men with certain personality traits and lifestyles from driving sports cars? I'ts a shotgun approach and some who aren't really in the sights of intent are going to hit. Maybe really hammer repeat offenders?

Justfor1

EW, it's kind of a dirty secret of the DUI laws that is not focused in the media. Everyone talks about the tough laws for the first & second time offenders but the general public knows very little about the "chronic drunk driving offender". I think the original poster may be feeling the social stigma of drunk driving. I often wonder why there was not this stigma in the 70's and into the 80's???

ElegantlyWasted

70s and 80s (early) was when our Dads were driving us around with open containers and they were sure as heck not going to do anything stupid with us kids in the car. So to the original poster, it just is what it is. Figure out how to not have it happen again and rock out the rest of your life. The stigma thing is interesting. Every other successful professional in the town I live in has a DUI (I'm exaggerating a little, but not much), they're actually so common in the last 10 years that the "stigma" really isn't there as much as it used to be. The guys I know who do like to throw down crazy arrange for transpo. So I do think it has had some positive effect. We do have a healthy crony capitalist sub economy teaching classes and installing interlock devices though.

Justfor1

IMO, there should be more accountability on the part of those who serve and sell alcohol to drunk consumers. To the original poster, use this as a "wake up call". Because I'm sure the stigma of DUI and "punishments for first & second time offenders will be increasing.

quitforme79

You made a mistake. You didn't hurt anyone or yourself. The consequences suck- I just got my license back after 6 months. I am an alcoholic however so I am grateful for the experience because it was the catalyst to my sobriety. Don't beat yourself up. Your situation is only temporary and if you learn from it you will be all the more wiser!

TheEnd

Maybe you're taking this much too lightly. Depending on what you want to do in life and where you live, a DUI can have serious long lasting consequences, even for the first one.

Just a side note, if you are traveling to Canada with a DUI, you can get denied access to the country.


Hmm....this explains a lot. No remorse, but lots of resentment.


Back to the OP. Use this as a learning experience and grow from this unfortunate incident. There are some people on here telling you that DUIs are no big deal. That you were only a little drunk and it's society's fault. Well you only need to be a little drunk to kill somebody. Remember that yes, you could have taken someone's life and be sitting in jail facing DUI manslaughter charges. So you know what, it is a big deal. These are the words coming from someone who has two DUIs. You may not be an alcoholic, only time will tell, how you go from this point will be the deciding factor.

caboblanco

I think drinking and driving is very irresponsible. The thing that gets me is that it seems if you ever bring it up people all have the same opinion on it, that it's a horrible crime not far from rape or murder. The chances are that same person with that opinion has drove drunk in his or her life and probably will do it again sometime before they are dead. Some people have no idea how many drinks it takes to get your BAC over .08. They also may think if they don't "feel" drunk it's ok to drive. They may think that people convicted of DUI were all fall down, room spinning drunk.

FeenixxRising

I understand the consequences of a DUI; however, it's clear the OP is in extreme mental anguish. I don't see that as a good thing. He clearly has remorse, he knows he screwed up and he feels a lot of shame. Those emotions are expected given the circumstances. However, getting to the point of extreme depression probably won't solve anything, and are counterproductive IMO. Learning from his mistake and taking responsibility for his actions will.

You'll notice I didn't say it wasn't a big deal; it is a big deal. But I don't feel the OP needs to torture and torment himself to understand the extent of his mistake.

FeenixxRising

afrank, my state has a program for the first time DUI offender that once completed will see your record expunged. There are stipulations, but in general, if it's your first DUI and you did not injure anyone or have a child in your car you can usually do the program. I believe mandatory alcohol and drug classes are required. And you have to stay out of trouble for roughly a year before your record is cleared.

I'm not sure if your state has something similar, but you should at least look into it.

Grungehead

I got pulled over a few years ago for speeding and had empty cans on the passenger floorboard. I had consumed 3-4 beers when he pulled me over and I blew a .06. He made me blow again and it was .07. He gave me a ticket for speeding, a warning ticket for open container (even though they were empty it's still illegal), and sent me on my way.

The thing is that I drove that road home from work 6 days a week and he pulled me over on a "light night" before I got my real drink on at home. I never got a DWI in my life and I deserved many. Take this as a good lesson on where alcohol can lead if you abuse it and how little it takes to actually be above the legal limit. From the sounds of it this will be a good life lesson to take forward with you.

tomsteve

you say this:
"By no means am i an alcoholic...."
and then this:
"Just when i feel ok, i relapse and get all depressed again"

what was the relapse of? addicted to working out? depression? alcohol?

Grungehead

tom,

I'm not him but I took it from his post that he relapsed into feeling depressed.

Mountainmanbob

2granddaughters

Your post reminds me so much of me 50 yrs ago. In my late teens and 20's drinking got me into situations that I couldn't bring myself to admit and deal with. I was unable to accept responsibility for my actions.
What I did when I was drinking didn't even seem like my actions when I sobered up... I denied all responsibility. It must be someone else's fault.

My life is my truth... I have to name it and claim it.

If you can then that's great. Do it.

If you can't then get help now. I found the best solution to my problem(s) in Alcoholics anonymous.


Some of us think that 2 + 2 = 5 and believe it.
Some of us know that 2 + 2 = 4 and can't stand it.
We have to come to know that 2 + 2 = 4 and embrace it with gratitude and serenity. That's tough for an alky.

All the best.

Bob R

DaveT

Imagine how you would feel if you killed someone's child as a result of drink driving ? Dont do it again , and if you can't control the amount you drink or stop once started , seek help , but whatever you do Dont Drink and Drive because the next time may give you emotions you will never get over as long as you live......

Syd0410

Hello Alex,
I have read your post and also read the comments. Some of the comments made my stomach churn with hate for what I have done, and some made me feel as if they weren't harsh enough for what I have done...

My story is a lot like yours... but there was something else..
I was 22 years old, I had an amazing job for my age, I am a natural workaholic like my grandmother. I have always been the girl that knew when enough was enough, I was a social drinker only 3 drinks every payday week, or maybe at a baseball game. I have never tried any drugs, I was a "straight-edge" until I turned 21. Like you my birthday was 6 days away, I got my DWI a Friday night or early Saturday morning which ever you would prefer. Friday was a normal "payday happy hour" with one of my girl friends and we always went to the same place, had the same drinks. We left there and went to get our nails done spent about 2 hours there, then we went to the bar right next door and a had a few more, this was not our normal schedule, but we were celebrating the purchase of my new house. At 10:46pm I rearended a vehicle, luckily not going very fast the air bags did not deploy and there were no injuries... there was something else that was wrong.......I don't remember this.... at all. I don't remember leaving the bar, I don't remember rear ending the car, I can't remember the impact of the wreck, I can't remember anything for about a 3 hour period. It's completely blank, I have had people say well maybe it's from the wreck, maybe you have a concusion... but I have no recall of leaving the bar, no stumbling down the stairs that I knew could cause problems if I drank too much when I was walking in. The only thing I remember is attempting to pass the sobriety test, and thinking in my mind "Where am I?, What happened?, Why am I not in bed?" I failed my sobriety test and was taken in. My friend, who was called to the scene from a by stander saying I was drinking and driving and had a wreck. The cop had told my friend that my eyes were overly dialated, and it seemed to him that there was "more than just alcohol in my system". I don't remember 3 hours of my life. Did I hurt this person? Am I hurt and I just don't know it? What else did I do? I am living in the same "relapse" of emotions. I have put all of my stress and anger at myself into the gym, I feel distant from everyone, I'm ashamed, I am disgusted that I could let myself get that way. I live every day in a zombie wake. I can't stop thinking about what I did, how I just ruined the rest of my life.. And I also can't stop thinking about what could have happened... who I could have hurt, or what I could have done... I blacked out due to someone slipping something into my drink at the bar.. whether it was from the bar to the table, when I went to the restroom.. I don't remember..... but every single day... for the rest of my life, I will live with this... I will live wtih the haunting of the unknown. "a drunk driving charge requires that police show you were operating a vehicle, while, at the same time, your blood-alcohol measurement was .08 or higher, or you were otherwise physically and mentally impaired by alcohol or drugs." Maybe if I didn't have those few extra drinks... maybe I should have gone home... maybe I should have called in sick to work and never left the house that day..... I'll let you know if I ever find a time machine to go back, but until then take every day, one at a time. Be thankful that you didn't do worse (I did), be grateful you're alive and nothing else happened. **deep breath, and exhale** There is no way to go back, you can only change you what you do in the future...

For me I have vowed no alcohol... ever again. The unknown has scared me to the never again..

For the families/friends/children that I could have hurt or for the people that have lost loved ones due to drunk driving, I am sorry, I am so angry that I can not remember. I have tried to retrace my steps, I have tried everything to understand what happened... but I can't there is nothing there. And everyday it follows me just as my shadow does.. It never goes away.



-Syd

Longpasttime

Well, there is no miracle to get it over with. You really just have to stay on top of it and do exactly what you need to on a daily basis. In terms of court, probation, classes, etc. DO NOT give them a reason to mess with you, they will. Even if your reason or excuse is true, they hear lies all day every day. It sucks, but it will be over at some point. Also, try having gratitude for it happening with no one hurt and that now you will never do it again. Its hard to do, but may help with the emotional side. Gratitude is a very powerful force.

On a different note, when i got mine, i had to attend a MADD presentation. I see absolutely no reason not to make this a requirement of getting your first license, it was very compelling.

Rose9

I am sorry for your experience. Did you ever report the drugging to the police? Did you ever seek help for what happened to you? I am not talking about your culpability regarding the dui...I am referring to you seeking help as someone who was drugged and potentially going to be a victim of an assault. I am guessing the person who drugged your drink probably didn't start or stop with you.

that aside, if someone did not drug you...you may have done one of a number of things. Perhaps you and your friend would have decided the extra drinks were just too many and find another way home. Perhaps you would have driven home (though you should not have) but not being drugged, you may have made it home safely. And of course, maybe you would have driven home (not drugged) and still received a dui. I guess what I am saying is that if you were drugged and can't remember what you were doing--that person took away your decision-making.

Bh28

DUI aged 20 along with posession of cannabis.

Today I'm 34 and still have my driving licence. Things work out, don't stress.