So We're at Day One
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 11
So We're at Day One
My wife and I are on Day One:
We very happily married, best friends, always open and always honest with each other, which has been important as this past year or so has been a bit daunting in the form of rejections and disappointments. Our moderate celebratory weekend drinking gave way to a method of escapism whenever things get even remotely rough (or just plain bad).
This month has been especially rough, culminating in some of my own personal worst benders as well as hers. I've had a handful of dark days in the past, but this past Saturday we agreed that our lives should be moving forward, not swaying side to side and never going anywhere - we want to press forward in our careers (mine currently is, as I'm being promoted in August, upping my responsibility ante quite a bit, which means no more auto-pilot mornings), we want to start our family (something we've been putting off for a year in an effort to get the "partying" out of our system and to get settled), and we're both artists (and our art has eroded over the fast few months especially) that want to find success in our hobbies.
And then we drank all day Sunday (the day drinking is something new we concocted a few months ago as a way to "relax" over the course of the weekend).
We're fed up and ready for the changes on the horizon.
So we're at Day One.
I wanted to post here not only for support, but because for the past month (which began with a weekend bender that of course included Monday and Tuesday - what were supposed to be my vacation days - and ultimately resulted in me not eating for 3 days, which scared the hell out of me), I have found solace and inspiration in all of your stories - I'll continue to update you on our progress in hopes that it will contribute to this insightful, supportive community.
We very happily married, best friends, always open and always honest with each other, which has been important as this past year or so has been a bit daunting in the form of rejections and disappointments. Our moderate celebratory weekend drinking gave way to a method of escapism whenever things get even remotely rough (or just plain bad).
This month has been especially rough, culminating in some of my own personal worst benders as well as hers. I've had a handful of dark days in the past, but this past Saturday we agreed that our lives should be moving forward, not swaying side to side and never going anywhere - we want to press forward in our careers (mine currently is, as I'm being promoted in August, upping my responsibility ante quite a bit, which means no more auto-pilot mornings), we want to start our family (something we've been putting off for a year in an effort to get the "partying" out of our system and to get settled), and we're both artists (and our art has eroded over the fast few months especially) that want to find success in our hobbies.
And then we drank all day Sunday (the day drinking is something new we concocted a few months ago as a way to "relax" over the course of the weekend).
We're fed up and ready for the changes on the horizon.
So we're at Day One.
I wanted to post here not only for support, but because for the past month (which began with a weekend bender that of course included Monday and Tuesday - what were supposed to be my vacation days - and ultimately resulted in me not eating for 3 days, which scared the hell out of me), I have found solace and inspiration in all of your stories - I'll continue to update you on our progress in hopes that it will contribute to this insightful, supportive community.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Originally Posted by MrInnocuous 
And then we drank all day Sunday
Don't worry, I've been there. One thing the two of you should be aware of is that quitting with a partner does give you built in support, but it also makes it harder. An ex and I tried it and the way it ended up for us would be that if either of us slipped, both of us would (either out of frustration with the other, or in relief like we were both skipping school).
So just make sure that each of you create your own philosophy of recovery independent of the other. You'll want to be able to support each other outside of your own personal sobriety. Otherwise you create a lot of room for resentment to build under the radar.
You two might just naturally be on the same page in terms of recovery style, but like with anything in a relationship, it's better to assume you're not and communicate the hell out of it just in case.
Welcome to SR and happy day one!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 11
That's excellent advice, fantail! Thank you for sharing!
I can easily see going the "skipping school" route.
She's at work now, but I'm excited to share everything I've read with her when she gets home. I've been in the war zone mentally and physically all day, but reading posts here has helped me keep it somewhat together.
I can easily see going the "skipping school" route.
She's at work now, but I'm excited to share everything I've read with her when she gets home. I've been in the war zone mentally and physically all day, but reading posts here has helped me keep it somewhat together.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Mr.Innocuous!
Congrats to you and your wife on making a great decision! I'm an artist as well, and drinking definitely did nothing for my work (though in the beginning it might have served as a justification..... just needed to "loosen up", you know?!
) In the end it just made me a depressed and anxious person.
It's good to have you with us - keep reading and posting!
Congrats to you and your wife on making a great decision! I'm an artist as well, and drinking definitely did nothing for my work (though in the beginning it might have served as a justification..... just needed to "loosen up", you know?!
) In the end it just made me a depressed and anxious person.It's good to have you with us - keep reading and posting!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 2
Hi there!! I am in the same boat as you, although, I am the one with the problem and my BF drinks becuase that is all I do. I am on day one today and have already seen a psych for some meds bc I can't seem to do it myself. I am starting on Campral today....I hope it helps, but I also know I need to be determined as well and I am!!! I am so sick of the weekend benders and waking up feeling horrible....My BF is quitting with me in support of my problem, which is extremely supportive and awesome!! WE want our lives to be different and apparently, today is the day to start a new!! Wishing you and your wife a blessed week with very little dysphoria 
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
