Earning trust back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 158
Earning trust back
Because I have been breaking sobriety and stalling on getting into treatment a good friend of mine told me she can't be friends with me the way I am and watch me kill myself with alcohol and pills. She has a point and she said she will support me once I go through treatment. I now realize everything addiction has taken from me and I don't blame her if I was her I wouldn't trust me either. I've become a liar by spending my parents money on drugs and alcohol and not telling the truth. She said I"m a good person who needs help. Has anyone else ever been able to rebuild trust once you were serious and taking treatment seriously
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
yes and it takes time
start with being sober one day at a time
relax, breathe in and out slowly, don't fret over the past nor the future, start to live in this moment
YOU CAN DO THIS sober thing!!!!!
Hugs & Love sent to you
start with being sober one day at a time
relax, breathe in and out slowly, don't fret over the past nor the future, start to live in this moment
YOU CAN DO THIS sober thing!!!!!
Hugs & Love sent to you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Certainly, you will get her trust back but you have to prove yourself to her first and make a good sober run at it. My wife rarely questions me about drinking these days but if I slip she will be all over me every time she sees me, "Did you drink?".
I don't miss those three words...
I don't miss those three words...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I think most of us have pinktee.
The thing is, you have to forget about your friend for now - get well, get better, recover - but do it for you, not for her.
If she's a real friend she'll see, in time, the changes in you - you won't need to say a word
D
The thing is, you have to forget about your friend for now - get well, get better, recover - but do it for you, not for her.
If she's a real friend she'll see, in time, the changes in you - you won't need to say a word
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
we need to face the facts
Originally Posted by pinktee18 
Has anyone else ever been able to rebuild trust once you were serious and taking treatment seriously
yes
but it takes time
and
that only for us means time being sober
many if not most will forgive us
but
we need to face the facts
while drinking and or using in many cases
there is no chance of reconciliation
but it takes time
and
that only for us means time being sober
many if not most will forgive us
but
we need to face the facts
while drinking and or using in many cases
there is no chance of reconciliation
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 158
I am concerned about me but now that the consequences of my actions are coming out it's more real. I've become a liar and do what I know I shouldn't. I went clubing last night and got very very drunk when I knew I shouldn't have gone she hammered home the fact that I keep making excuses for everything. She's the one who cared from the beginning to get help and she has a point. I need to take responsibility for myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 158
She is an excellent friend she doesnt like the person Ive become with the lying and not doing anything I say I will for treatment. I go tomorrow for intake and I'm gonna let her know and wish her well and when I come out hopefully we can work on building trust again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
for a healthy life
Originally Posted by pinktee18
I've become a liar and do what I know I shouldn't
admitting to ourselves those facts
can be
the greatest of a new start
it wasn't until I got sick and tired of myself
that I finally became willing to change
for a healthy life
we need to be able to look at the one in the mirror
and
not get sick inside
can be
the greatest of a new start
it wasn't until I got sick and tired of myself
that I finally became willing to change
for a healthy life
we need to be able to look at the one in the mirror
and
not get sick inside
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 262
I'm pretty sure I won't be able to build trust back with my mom, dad, and sister. I promised I would not drink during her wedding weekend and I did. Of course they could tell I was drunk. Today they came into my hotel room and told I was no longer in the wedding. I was supposed to be the maid of honor. I am so so sad. I hate myself and I can't stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
It took a long while to earn the trust back from my family. But I eventually did. I first needed to earn the trust back from myself. When I stopped lying to myself and became completely honest with myself, that is when the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place.
100 % Honesty.
Important. Very, very important.
(harder than it seems, but completely possible.)
100 % Honesty.
Important. Very, very important.
(harder than it seems, but completely possible.)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 158
I'm hoping for the best because for me the tough love approach does work my guy friend did it to me and it worked and were closer than ever. Time apart should do us well and for me to get it together so I can come out on the other side a new person.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
I was able to rehabilitate some of my broken relationships, but not all. The AA Big Book recommends that we practice patience, tolerance and love. If we can do that, we may still regret the damage we've done, but it won't weigh on us as heavily as it does in early sobriety.
When I first got sober, I was told that trust is the first thing we lose, and the last thing we get back. My family knew me as a good person before I relapsed after twenty five years, and they quickly opened their hearts to me when I entered treatment. I wasn't as fortunate with my ex-girlfriend and a couple of employers. But after making amends, I was able to accept my past failures and live in the present. There's no reason why you can't do the same.
When I first got sober, I was told that trust is the first thing we lose, and the last thing we get back. My family knew me as a good person before I relapsed after twenty five years, and they quickly opened their hearts to me when I entered treatment. I wasn't as fortunate with my ex-girlfriend and a couple of employers. But after making amends, I was able to accept my past failures and live in the present. There's no reason why you can't do the same.
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