Bluebird1927

I'm sure there are many of us stressing about tonight, the rest of the world seems to be able to happily enjoy a drink when we're stuck in. My girlfriend is out tonight which usually means me drinking myself silly in the flat waiting for her return. Tonight I face this sober and am not looking forward to it. I plan not to drink but the shop is a two minute walk away and the usual, get drunk instincts are kicking in. Anyway I hope people can use this thread to post their issues with Saturday nights and help me in the process. Thanks

DesperadoBlond

Hi Bluebird!

I hear ya! Saturday nights made me go into self pity mode in my early sobriety. Still happens a little bit like today (I am 7,5 months sober). All those other people partying - boo hoo!

Then again, looking back at all those times I went out drinking, or stayed at home drinking, I really can't remember almost any nights when things turned out great when I got really drunk.

Alcohol mainly made me into a fool. And the memory of alcohol keeps trying to fool me into thinking that "this time it will be different".

Not to even mention the horrors of the morning after:

-waking up late, dressed, possibly with puke all over
-head ache
-having to check the sent box on my phone (texts) and email to see what angry rants I had sent off to unsuspecting friends and family.
-having to check how much of next month's rent was gone from my bank account.
-finding my keys and credit cards etc etc.

How about using Saturday night for something you've wanted to do for a long time but haven't allowed yourself time for doing?

Bluebird1927

Hello there! Very good post and just what I needed. I am going to do something I haven't done for a while. Take some time to myself and watch some football. The anxiety has passed now thanks to a gym session. Few cups of green tea and some food and I should be ok. Thank you for posting

doggonecarl

I learned to change my mindset. The whole world is not out on a Saturday night drinking. Only an alcoholic elevates the consumption of booze to such a level. Plenty of sober people in the world doing sober stuff. An I had to get the idea of not drinking as some activity I was stuck doing.

Not easy concepts to get ones mind around. Getting and staying sober helped. Wish you the same.

Bluebird1927

Once again a very valid point. I don't think facebook helps ha ha. Seems like everyone is drinking when in reality they aren't. Thanks

doggonecarl

Probably doesn't help that you are Cardiff...one hard drinking town. But even in Cardiff, everyone isn't drinking. Stay strong.

EndGameNYC

During early sobriety, I went to meetings nearly every day, and more often than not two meetings a day. Always went on Saturday and Sunday nights, and then hit the coffee shop afterwards with my sponsor, and sometimes with one or two of his friends. Though I often felt I was missing something, I always felt better on Monday mornings.

I still go on Saturdays, but I've long ago stopped feeling that I'm missing something. The only thing I was missing while I was drinking was living a good life.

Bluebird1927

Yeah, I understand why you would have done that. Support early days is essential. I'm doing plenty of reading on here and enjoying the peace

Bluebird1927

The reading and research has worked. The cravings have passed, the anxiety has passed. Looking forward to a lovely sober sleep. Tonight is a good night

Michael66

Well done Bluebird. Weekendss in early sobriety can be tough - but you've shown yourself and us you can do it.

Bluebird1927

Thanks Michael, yeah it was hard but very worthwhile. A Sunday morning hangover free is going to be amazing ha ha

DarkDays

Mindset change needed , the masses are out like sheep drinking their drugs wasting away lives. They are the ones missing out on life, I pity them.

Last night done just over 5 hours sober at a party, think it was the best night I have ever had out loved it, liked me and loved being me. Taken a while to get here , thank god I have.

Isaiah5914

How long does it take for your mindset to change??? Hockey's on tonight... And it is really hard to not go out or, pick up a jug.

DarkDays

Well sober nearly 18 months now, last summer I was craving and still getting stupid romantic drink thoughts. This summer so far the cravings feel very slight if and when I get them. Not too sure , but I really see drinking now for what it is, I do not separate the drugs , they are all the same. The masses drink and follow each other me I am sober and cool. Jason vale book explains a lot of this.

Plus last night whilst I had a great time with zero cravings the time spent watching drinkers is like a battery re charge , there's no way I am EVER going to be like them again.

Bluebird1927

Cool indeed and not one of the sheep anymore. I want to be proud to say, I don't drink

Isaiah5914

Jason vale...the juice guy??? anyway, i hope i last 6months...a year...i just look at everyday as a new challenge.

DarkDays

Yes Jason vale the juice guy. His book on stopping drinking is well known.

DesperadoBlond

Me too! At just over 7 months sober I have now done a handful of cocktail parties and dinner parties sober.

I won't lie, the first 2 were quite hard. I felt uncomfortable. But after those firsts, I kind of stopped "paying so much attention" to not having alcohol... and I've actually had a very good time lately, sober, at social events.

This development came for me MUCH faster than I expected. I just had to give it a try.

A friend in AA told me to keep a big bag of M&Ms in my pocket at social occasions in the beginning to substitute what I used to be drinking. Supposedly a sugar rush is good for these things.

Also, make sure you always have a glass of sparkling water/soda/whatever in your hand, that way people won't be pushing alcohol on you. If people ask me why I don't drink alcohol, I tell them I have some reading up to do for work later on. Most people don't insist after I say that.

NYCDoglvr

You just don't drink today. That's it, forget the rest of your life, it's only TODAY we don't drink. Reel your mind back in, stop projecting. Have a milkshake if you're craving a drink it fools the brain into thinking you're having a cocktail.

Anything you're thinking and feeling will pass. Just don't drink TODAY.

I've heard alcoholism called "the disease of attitudes" and I sure agree. Over time and with a lot of hard work I've changed in enormous ways. I used the 12 Steps and fellowship of AA plus a therapist. Hard work but the most important think I've done in my life. I'm close to having 8000 days (almost 22 years). I did it one day at a time. Another tip: Life only SUCKS one day at a time too!

OneLessLonely

I'm in and sober tonight too just had dinner. Going to watch some hockey and poke around on here. I still have strawberry ice cream in my future too! Haha. And I'm totally okay with it. I'm not saying anything inappropriate, not doing anything inappropriate, not risking my life or anyone else's life, not waking up tomorrow hungover, full of anxiety and regret. I'll take that.