friday13

I've been asked to go back to the rehab I left in December to give a talk to the current residents. I've agreed to do it for a couple of reasons; firstly because the rehab helped me so much and I'd like to be able to give something back and secondly because I have terrible social anxiety so it will be a real challenge and a great achievement if I am able to do it.

Has anyone given a talk at their old rehab before or had an ex-resident come to give one while you were there? What type of things did they talk about and what did you find most helpful? If you haven't ever been to a talk or done a talk then what do you think you would like to hear?

My ideas so far are to talk about what life was like for me when I was drinking, how rehab helped me begin living again, how I am finding life in the real world (challenges, ways of coping etc) and what I hope for the future. Any suggestions?

I'm scared for a number of reasons but one of the reasons is that I fear they won't relate to me. I am not representative of the demographic at the rehab. I am quite well spoken (after my life story one of the residents said "wow, I thought you were posh and from a wealthy family"), I dress in an alternative/gothic style and I'm very young (23 but I look even younger). I'm worried that the residents will either not relate to me or not believe I can understand what they are going through because they were drinking for much longer. I really don't want the talk to turn into battle stories, I want to focus on the emotional side, but I would like them to understand that drinking really was destroying me. I'm not really sure what the best way to do that is without resorting to tales of all the awful consequences.

I'm actually in shock that I said yes. I'm slightly regretting it but given one of the main things I worked on in rehab was taking (healthy) risks it seems appropriate to do it.

I would really appreciate any guidance. I'd like to make my talk worth the residents' time if at all possible.

tootsl1

Wow Friday, I am really impressed, this is an incredible thing you have been asked to do.
I cannot advise on what to say, but if I was there to listen, I feel I would just want to know about your struggle with sobriety in the early days, what helped you, what temptations and pitfalls to look out for and to know that there is a future beyond drinking. My AXH could never conceive of a sober life for himself, I feel that is why he never really committed to trying, I on the other hand am now loving my sober life and not having to consider alcohol.

I wouldn't worry too much about whether these guys can relate to you, if you speak from the heart, they will.
As for the practicalities, I suggest writing it down, practising in front of a mirror, and trying it out on someone you can trust. Friday, be yourself, you would not have been asked to do it if they didn't think you could. Have faith. Please let us know how it goes!! 😄

drunkyjules

My ideas so far are to talk about what life was like for me when I was drinking, how rehab helped me begin living again, how I am finding life in the real world (challenges, ways of coping etc) and what I hope for the future.

I've never had to do a talk like this but I think its a great idea. I think your statement above seems like the good topics to cover. I know you are really nervous but what a challenge. As far as if they will relate. What I've heard from people who have done these talks is you go up and share your story, your message that only you can share. As alcoholics/addicts we come from all walks of life but I think how using made us feel and the reasons we use are pretty similar. Maybe not every single person in the room will identify with your message (some will be determined to just see the differences) but I bet many of them will find similarities.

Good luck to you! Come back and let us know how it goes. You can do this, whoever from the rehab obviously thinks you will do a good job. Just believe in yourself. I know I have heard some powerful talks from people in recovery and from every person I've listened to there was something in their message I could identify with.

Adillac

I don't think they will judge you. Tell a few war stories so you can identify, and they will find what they can relate to. I am pretty fearful of speaking up in groups of people; I can hardly read or share anything in meetings without losing my breath or my voice just quaking like an old frog But, if you are nervous about looking nervous or messing up, etc...remember that vulnerability is an endearing quality...

friday13

Thank you. I'm a bit shocked but it is a small rehab and people generally stay six months so there aren't too many people they could have asked! Thanks for the help and I'll post how it goes

Thanks. I guess it is really about reaching out and if anyone finds it helpful then I will be happy.

I will be terrified and I know I won't be able to hide it but my counsellor knows that and I guess he will actually say that when I first arrived there would have been no way I could have done something like this. It shows the progression I've made and that I continue to make. Regarding war stories I think I'll go down the "risk" route as it ties into recovery well; when I was drinking I was taking many risks but they were the wrong kind. I took risks that could have killed me and that had some pretty horrible consequences whereas now I take healthy risks to improve my life (I'll obviously think about it properly and flesh it out).


I'm so scared but also flattered that I was asked. I know they are probably asking everyone who is still sober and has been gone for a while but they could have not asked me and I would never have known. Better get my thinking cap on!

CharlieNoogan

My treatment program included a weekly alumni speaker. Generally they gave a brief usage history, what it was like, how they got into the program, the best things they learned there, and how life has been getting along since graduating from treatment.

It was always captivating to hear where people came from and how their lives had transformed as a result of recovery.

I think it is best to simply speak from the heart, be conversational and allow questions, and realize that if you impact only one person in a positive way you have done a huge 12th Step.

Congratulations on the opportunity and I'm sure you will do great!

BarbieKen

Hi, at 90 days sober I was asked to join a H&I Panel. I spoke of the progression of my alcoholism, some horror stories, and then recovery. What am I doing today to continue my sobriety? I belong to AA, so my share also included working with my Sponsor, being active in my recovery by working the 12 Steps, and being of Service. My Rehab also has open participation meetings. I haven't heard any alumni speak at one ..yet. I'm sure it's happened, maybe just have missed those meetings. So, what an honor for you, do 'em Proud. :-D

friday13

Thanks for the advice. I'll do my best and hope that is enough to reach one person at least

Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm not in AA and my rehab wasn't 12 steps so I will definitely share how I've been supported in my recovery and what tools I've used. I feel very honoured to have been asked and it has also given me confidence that I should apply for the voluntary drug and alcohol worker position I have seen at a local service (I have to wait another month until I am a year sober to apply).

friday13

It's done! It went ok. I told my old counsellor that I would be reading something I wrote because I wouldn't be able to cope with just speaking (they are well aware of my anxiety). He was fine with that. I stumbled over my words a few times and mainly read from my papers but compared to last time I sat in that chair in that room I was a thousand times calmer. I think the nerves/disrupted sleep cycle made me a little hyper which wasn't too bad because I was able to make jokes but I worry that I was a bit too much. Oh well, it's done now.

Afterwards the residents talked about what it had brought up for them and there was a discussion and questions. That was all fine. It sounded like they understood where I was coming from (I focussed on the emotions behind the drinking which negates age or drinking length) and they said it was good to see someone who had done well after they left. They were also relieved to hear I planned to leave numerous times and that that was completely normal! I think the example of how I coped with a stressful situation without drinking seemed to go down well. The counsellor said he thoughts that was good.

I then sat with them in the courtyard for a bit and spoke to staff who all said they were impressed with what I said and how calm I was. I may still be crippled with anxiety but compared to last year I am doing so well. Sometimes I forget just how bad things were. It was good to get the bigger picture.

I don't know how useful the residents actually found it because they are always going to be polite to my face. I hope that someone found it helpful but even if they didn't I am proud of myself for doing it.

Mountainmanbob

DaveT

I just share my experience , thats all i have to share !

Grungehead

Friday,

Not only did you help other alcoholics by sharing your story, it sounds like it helped you too!

DaveT

That's How It Works !