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Day 7

Old 06-17-2013, 09:48 AM
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Day 7

Well I am back after caving about a month ago.. I am on day 7, the shakes and sweats are pretty much gone. But I am exhausted and my head is still foggy and having a really hard time focusing.. I am down in the dumps because of this, it takes every bit of my energy to stay on track and stay sober.. Has anyone else had this foggy unclear head, if so how long did it take before you you felt somewhat energized? Getting to the point where I feel worst than when I was drinking... I know that is not the answer, I just have a lost feeling today...
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:30 AM
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I felt depressed on and off for a while...I don't even remember how long. Weeks at least. I guess the idea in my head was all of this depression could be "fixed" by a drink...

Honestly until I had a plan of attack - a plan going forward - I didn't ever really feel good about being sober or thinking that it was something I could sustain. It felt like there was a slowly ticking clock somewhere in my head, a countdown until my next bender, and my job was to just sit, bored, and fight as hard as I could to sustain life without putting a drink or drug into myself. I tried and tried week after week and failed over and over again, always getting drunk. I thought I was losing my mind. Was this all that life was? Wanting to drink but knowing I can't? And fighting it day after day? I waited and managed to stay sober for a couple months but the feeling never went away. The ticking clock feeling. I couldn't take it anymore. Something had to change.

I started going to AA even though I hated it and never could ever see myself becoming one of "those people". The only reason I went was because I was scared and didn't want to die. And I knew if I kept on going the way I was I would die. So a few weeks went by and, having really given up, I started doing what those people in there told me. I got a sponsor. I asked him to take me through the steps and he did. I set up the chairs at the meetings and got there early. All of these weren't my ideas, BTW. I didn't want to do any of this crap but I just didn't want to drink so I did what they said. And it worked. I stayed sober. And more than that I began loving my life sober. To me it was nothing short of a miracle.

I know there are a lot of folks on here - at least there were a couple years ago when I was more regular here - that aren't that keen on AA, but it worked for me. And if you don't go to AA, at the minimum, get some plan of attack together, how to deal with X and Y and someone to call when you start having cravings. But I suggest AA. At least try it.
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