One week down!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 69
One week down!
Haven't had a drink in over 7 days.
This weekend I went to visit my father's gravestone for Father's Day. He died of alcoholism 18 years ago. Every time I approach his grave I get angry and choked up. I don't know how to act or what to say/do.
I stood there for a minute, put down the flowers, and instantly I wanted a drink.
I'm realizing that for me drinking is just my way to not feel emotions - tough emotions - but now I'm ready to deal with them head on.
I drove the three hours home and when I stepped in my door i had the desire to drink again. I was frantic. I opened a cream soda instead and sat on the porch.
Anyway, the no drinking thing is sad and I will miss it, but I won't miss the possibility of ending up like my father; dead at 44.
I cannot wait for my brain to start rewiring so I can start thinking straight again. The first month without alcohol is the worst. I still think like a drunk person but I'm dry.
This weekend I went to visit my father's gravestone for Father's Day. He died of alcoholism 18 years ago. Every time I approach his grave I get angry and choked up. I don't know how to act or what to say/do.
I stood there for a minute, put down the flowers, and instantly I wanted a drink.
I'm realizing that for me drinking is just my way to not feel emotions - tough emotions - but now I'm ready to deal with them head on.
I drove the three hours home and when I stepped in my door i had the desire to drink again. I was frantic. I opened a cream soda instead and sat on the porch.
Anyway, the no drinking thing is sad and I will miss it, but I won't miss the possibility of ending up like my father; dead at 44.
I cannot wait for my brain to start rewiring so I can start thinking straight again. The first month without alcohol is the worst. I still think like a drunk person but I'm dry.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I'm sure it was tough standing at your father's grave. Not drinking is a victory.
Are you doing anything else for your recovery besides logging into Sober Recovery? For some it's enough. Others of us, we required more help to deal with life sober. Perhaps you would benefit from face-to-face support.
Are you doing anything else for your recovery besides logging into Sober Recovery? For some it's enough. Others of us, we required more help to deal with life sober. Perhaps you would benefit from face-to-face support.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 383
You got it - we drink because we are drunks, and most of us learned to cope with life's struggles with a drug. It is deeply rooted in our very selves, and we can be dry and still not live sober. Good job realizing that you are feeling the urge to drink to deal- it's a big one we all faced. Ever wonder how you can stand at the foot of your father's grave and want to do what killed him? We get it... That might shock un-alcoholic people but We drunks know why. There is a solution and you are getting there. You're one of us. Look up AA's 12 steps, read Step One and see if you think you qualify. If you decide you want to hit a meeting, please PM me and I'll help you find one near you. God bless - you're in the right place.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 236
I applaud you for not drinking to deal with your emotions. Drinking does not eliminate problems and actually makes them worse when you sober up. You have a great mindset. Keep up the sobriety and I guarantee that you'll start thinking right and will learn how to handle emotions much better without alcohol.
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