violetflame

After years of not being able to go more than 3 days without a drink. The most I have gone this year was 8 days while I was staying at my mom's and felt great. I have realized I need to make a real commitment here. my career and motivation have been in the toilet and i owe it all to the damn wine. i am going to stop and stay stopped at least for 30 days but my short term goal is a week. i have gained 50 pounds in 3 years and i cannot stand the way i look. its all wine weight plus the junk i end up eating afterwards. I also am tired of dealing with the anxiety and depression which is made worse after drinking. so here's to a new start and today june 11 is my day 1.

Dee74

welcome back VF

D

visch1

Hi and welcome back. Having had a difficult time stopping I finally went to AA years ago where I was among people who understand me/us. I got a couple tough old timers for sponsors after a too long period of doing the same old drinking pattern and expecting different results. It was pointed out that being honest with myself is the number 1 thing to work on then accepting that I could NOT drink in safety and the first drink will get me drunk. This along with many meetings was my start of sobriety a lot of years ago because I kept coming. BE WELL

FeenixxRising

Welcome VF. I understand what you're going through, as I have a similar drinking pattern. Stop and start, stop and start. It's come to a point where I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Are you considering AA or other programs? I know that I've come to a point where I will no longer rule out any legitimate program or process for getting sober. I'm not pushing any particular method, but I think it's important to use whatever help we can find, especially if our old methods aren't working.

Anyway, from reading your profile, it sounds like you have a lot of good things in your life; getting sober will only make those things better, so keep at it.

And welcome back.

Threshold

Hi violetflame. Good to see you back. Stick around and let's get this things right...together. I remember your posts from when you were here before, you have a lot to offer, let's not let wine steal it.

Hevyn

I'm happy you're giving sobriety another chance, violetflame. It's good to see you again.

I thought drinking was helping me cope. In reality it was the cause of most of my problems. There was nothing fun or relaxing about it in the end. By the time I quit my world was in chaos. It was so good to kick it out of my life.

EndGameNYC

Only thing worse than relapsing is not coming back from it.

Everyone falls down. What's important is what we do when we get back up.

violetflame

Thanks for all your encouragement. This is a good place and it is sad I have been away for so long. My post was short because I was feeling tired. Today is a new day . Day 2. I m glad to be back and I am keeping myself out of trouble best I can. I can't wait until the day that I don't get an urge. I don't know if it will ever come. I had one today but it passed. I have found I cannot let myself go more than 3 hours without eating. My cravings are definately connected to low blood sugar. I probably have messed myself up from the drinking and it has gotten this way. i know the stopping of the drinking is my #1 priority. Once I can achieve some long term sobriety I will be able to attract and keep a better job and the booze weight will come off and I will feel much better bout myself. Perhaps a sponsor may be a good idea. For some reason everytime I have gone to an AA meeting it has made me want to drink more. I know this sounds ridiculous esp to those of you who swear by it. I have to find my own way somehow, even though my own thinking is what usually gets me in trouble. Like find some non drinking activities and basically getting out of the house more. I have read some pretty good books on alcoholism. But to be honest, at this point I have to take the focus off of my drinking and onto other things so I can succeed. Mine was a compulsive habit. Daily ritual of going to the gas stations and hiding my little bottles. So for me anything I can do to keep the focus on something/anything else, is the key. Thank you all once again and I plan to keep posting