Justfor1

As I stated before I started this part time job. It is only a little bit over minimum wage & I'm debating weather or not it's worth it. I asked my boss if he could pay me a little bit cash or "under the table" but he cannot. I thought he was my friend & should be able to do this. It's not a big deal. So I think I will lose my government assistance which is almost more than I make. Some of my co-workers are kinda rude and much younger than myself. I am a good worker but I feel that I am worth more than my low wage. We also get paid only every 2 weeks & I'm use to getting paid cash on the same day.

Dee74

I think it's a little unfair of you to expect your friend to break the law Just - if any under the table deals come to light you could both be in hot water.

Are you sure you'll lose your government assistance?
Have you checked?

As for being worth more than your wage - join the queue...I bet there are hundreds of folks here who feel the same way

This is an opportunity Just - it's a toehold back into normal life.

Don't let pride or expectations rob you of it.

D

Justfor1

I hear ya dee. But many co-workers call in sick and I have to work extra hard those days. They hired 5 new people and 3 of them already quit. I will try to keep this job until I find a better one. Working beneath ones ability is not always good for ones self esteem. Everyone thinks I should be grateful because of the economy but I know I can do better. A job coordinator helped me redo my resume & I honestly think it looks pretty good. I never thought I'd say that but she really helped fill in the gaps when I was on my various drunken benders or jail/hospital stays.

Olive1

Hi Justfor1,
My minimum wage job was exactly the thing I needed for the first year I was sober. Structure and responsibility....all though, not too much responsibility. And I didn't stress about it after I punched the clock. In fact, I was sort of sad to give it up when I felt well enough to get a job more in line with my talents.

CharlieNoogan

Rather than put your friend and boss in a precarious position by insisting on "under the table" income, why not put your energy into finding a better paying and more satisfying job? I'm sure your current boss would give you an outstanding recommendation if you ask for one. Get your resume in order, line up references, and start pounding the pavement. With employment that is more in line with your education and experience, comes similarly responsible co-workers.

As far as government assistance goes, wouldn't you rather support yourself than rely on the hard work of others? After all, government assistance is only meant to be a short term fix to get you back on your feet. You will feel much better overall if you can work through this slump and reap the benefits of being a fully-functioning, self-supporting member of society.

I understand what you are going through as I have been looking for work myself. It is difficult to get back into the job market after being unemployed for 7 months. At least you can show that despite the job market, you set your pride aside and worked a more basic job to make ends meet while you looked for that perfect fit. You are doing great, keep it up!

Sudz No More

Hang in there Just, it will get easier to deal with some the stress you are seeing now after you get to know your coworkers better. It's a good idea for you to stick it out and get some time back in working. After you get a little more experience if there is no way up in your current job at least you be able to use your time there as a selling point for the next.

Keep the ball rolling, it will gain momentum if you let it.

Justfor1

Before becoming the stereotypical alcohol I was a productive person. I graduated college & worked in high end restaurants and hotels. I was denied my permit to drive a taxi because of a DUI over 10 years ago. I will be going to a hearing and still may have that opportunity. Luckily, I have no serious felony type convictions. It may sound silly but that is my dream job. I believe I would be happy being a taxi driver & make a living. The lack of money and of a future was always a trigger for me to drink.

robgt350

hay we all have dream jobs, so don't be shy about yours.
but hay you have a job, and i would be proud of that. i think there are millions of people who are unemployed at this time. alot of people cannot find employment. at the same time, alot of people do not want to take jobs that they feel that is below them. so i kind of feel they become a leach or freeloader on society making all of us pay more taxes.
did you try to get a second job. i took a second job after stopped drinking to fill my time and build up my self esteem.
but glad to see you are still sober! good luck bro~!

Michael66

Hey there Just

I think it's good that your friend is setting you an example of honesty at work. That aligns very much with AA values.

As for whether it's worth it, I would say (1) you have the pride of making at least some of your own living, and (2) it's probably a necessary step on the way to a better paid job. You don't have to like your co-workers. The reality is that you are rebuilding your working life. That's really positive, but you may have to be patient and tenacious in the early days, weeks and months.

Hang in there. I can't see you have anything to gain by jacking it in.

Justfor1

[QUOTE=robgt350;4009920]hay we all have dream jobs, so don't be shy about yours.
but hay you have a job, and i would be proud of that. i think there are millions of people who are unemployed at this time. alot of people cannot find employment. at the same time, alot of people do not want to take jobs that they feel that is below them. so i kind of feel they become a leach or freeloader on society making all of us pay more taxes.

I understand what you are saying but I don't care about millions of people unemployed? I only care about myself & my situation. I don't feel guilty at all being a "freeloader". I was denied SSDI disability when I was clearly insane so today I take whatever I can get & sleep fine.

TheEnd

Making less than your worth. Join the club. I have Master's degree on my way to Ph.D and I know I should be making a lot more, but that's the insane world of education. I know this won't be the situation forever, so I won't dwell on the negatives. I like my job and can support myself, so that's all that matter right now.

You should take where you are as a temporary thing until something better comes along. Your employment history seems to suck, so having this job will make you more employable in the future, that's how you develop a work history. You have to start somewhere. Stop trying to rush things and in time you will be where you want to be.

Michael66

Hi Just

You mention it is part-time - is there an option to increase your hours as you start to get settled into sobriety again?

On the fortnightly pay - I imagine that as you go for higher paid jobs it's more likely to be monthly pay, so fortnightly pay may help with that transition to more disciplined monthly budgeting.

As "TheEnd" says, I think most people work below the level they feel they could work at. At the end of the day the job market is competitive and though it may be frustrating it's not good enough just to be able to do a job - we have to be the best person interviewed to get the job. But we all like a job that stretches us a little (but not too much) - I think patience and grafting is the way to get that as those jobs tend to be got as we slowly climb up the job ladder. Few people walk into hugely satisfying jobs without a lot of work before hand. One other option if you feel you really could do a lot more is to consider your own business. Many people do that and there's no limitations other than your imagination and talent meeting what other people want.

CharlieNoogan

You do realize that if everyone had this attitude, there would be no government assistance to "take."

You apparently harbor resentment for being denied federal SSDI benefits and now believe you are "owed" something by others who pay state taxes on above-board income. These are two different programs run and funded by completely different entities.

From what you posted previously about being paid daily and wanting cash under the table, it appears you are also unwilling to pay into the system from which you benefit. You may want to reconsider your position on this. Rigorous honesty is the best insurance policy against relapse IMO.

GracieLou

And the true nature of the problem you are having raises its ugly head. You feel owed, due, indebted to and you expect more.

I heard something in an AA meeting not long ago.

"Expectations are just premeditated resentments"

The expectations you place on yourself, the system, the job market, The World in general are so high that you and they are never going to live up. You are setting yourself up to fail.

I have to keep things simple. If I get to far ahead or if I start looking at the entire picture, rather then the small part I play in it, then I am going to set myself up to fail.

Even if you got that taxi job today, you are not going to be happy and your problems are not going to be solved because it is not going to live up to your premeditated expectations.

Gottalife

I understand what you are saying but I don't care about millions of people unemployed? I only care about myself & my situation. I don't feel guilty at all being a "freeloader". I was denied SSDI disability when I was clearly insane so today I take whatever I can get & sleep fine.[/QUOTE]

"Selfishness, self centredness, that we think is the root of all our problems."
"We must be rid of this selfishness, we must or it kills us"
"Simple but not easy, a price had to be paid. It meant the destruction of self centredness"
"relieve me of the bondage of self"

Were the authors of the Big Book trying to tell us that selfishness could be a block to recovery?

Mountainmanbob

Threshold

So many things in the OP are exactly the discussion I had with my BF yesterday! I nearly had to run to the bedroom to see if he was online posting. lol.

He was complaining the other day that a good hard worker like him shouldn't be expected to train with the a-holes who work at another store. He doesn't have time for it and he could teach them a thing or two..he shouldn't have to do it as it has NOTHING to do with his job.

I said it has EVERYTHING to do with his job, because in ANY job we will have to work with a-holes and so we had best learn to do just that...and that we might do well to remember that the may consider US the a-hole at work. oops!

I sincerely believe that NO job is beneath us. We are part of a community, and all the jobs are a necessary part of the community, and to take a job and do it well can be a source of real pride and an experience in community. No matter who we are, or think we are we are not self sufficient. No CEO can be where they are if they didn't have thousands of people working at the manual labor that makes them income. We are all dependent on one another every second of the day.

Saying "those people have nothing to do with me." is an outright lie we may tell ourselves, but the reality is they have everything to do with us, and us with them. That's how society works. Even people who choose to live in the woods and hunt their own food use axes, guns, knives made by others.

If we find a job challenging for any reason, such as not liking the pay, the coworkers, some of the tasks involved, etc, we can tell ourselves that we feel that way because it's beneath us, or we can realize that we feel that way because part of that job is something we are not good at. Getting along with others, doing manual labor, living on a tight budget, getting over our idea of ourselves that we are "better" than that. It's something we aren't comfortable with. Nothing wrong with looking for a job we are a better fit with, but that doesn't mean we can't acknowledge some of the real reasons we are not cool with the job we are at.

I worked for a time at an Amazon fulfillment warehouse, and there were people who said "how can you work there, isn't that beneath you?" and I'm like HUH? I'll bet they are darn grateful that people work at that Amazon fulfillment warehouse when they can sit at their computer and in two days the object of their desire is delivered to their doorstep.

During the holiday rush and the crazy long hours, people would come into work with a long face and I would remind them that Amazon IS Santa Claus! That we were making Christmas for much of the USA.

As far as not making what we are worth, I suppose that it depends on whether or not you value your life in dollars and cents. And for the record I have worked at minimum wage jobs, I have had disabilities, and I have been often accused at working jobs that were beneath me and didn't pay what I was worth, so I'm not talking out by arse here.

tomsteve

the only people that stress me out are the ones I allow to stress me out and I don't allow it today. theres a solution for every problem and until I make the decision to live in the solution, I am making the decision to live in insanity.
rules for me to live by:
don't sweat the small stuff
its all small stuff
if I cant run and I cant hide, go with he flow.

Justfor1

I think my self esteem is getting better because I do feel like this job is not worthy of my talents. What is wrong with that? They may end up taking away my free government cell phone, food stamp card & I will not qualify for the mental health clinic that I attend. I have to say that I do feel entitled to these things. Society certainly screwed me over. I put some blame on my mental health state on the system who have provided me with such limited help.

Michael66

Threshold - great post on the dignity of work, and the usefulness of all those "menial" jobs (indeed, often they are the ones really making a difference in society).