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Need some direction in my life!

Old 06-10-2013, 03:36 PM
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Need some direction in my life!

My fiance is in jail right now has been for 4 months with no idea of when he might be getting out. He has multiple drug and robbery charges against him. I know it sounds awful but he really is not a bad person. I am having a very hard time adjusting to being on my own right now. I was with him for 12 years and the plan was to get married have kids and now I just feel like I have no direction in my life. Don't know what to do. I seem to be drinking way too much in order to forget about and it just makes everything so much worse. I've posted on here before and it at least seems to help some. Thank you.
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Old 06-10-2013, 03:53 PM
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It sounds like it might be best to focus on your own health right now lostgirll - as opposed to your BF and his situation. You said you were drinking too much these days. Do you have a plan to quit? Sorry to hear about your situation.
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Old 06-10-2013, 03:56 PM
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@bigsombrero I don't really have a plan but I think that may be what I need to do. maybe if I focus on that for now everything else will fall into place. just so stressed about everything right now.
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Old 06-10-2013, 04:55 PM
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I get blackout drunk too much. I just feel like a horrible person. Def need a plan.have gone to meetings before but not recently.
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Old 06-10-2013, 07:07 PM
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Why do you feel like such a horrible person? Have you done something wrong? Maybe it's time to take a break from the bottle and start by taking the night off. If you have friends that drink a lot it might help to keep your distance for a while too. It's not too easy for most of us to quit, that's why there are so many of us here! I'd also encourage you to check around and read some of the posts here, I think you'll find a lot of help.
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Old 06-10-2013, 07:22 PM
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Sorry for your situation, lostgirl. I think bigsombrero is right about focusing on yourself right now. Drinking is only going to add one huge problem to everything else and will make you feel anxious and depressed (not to mention that blackouts are really dangerous). It's going to be hard to deal with anything if you're drinking.

Most of us find that we need some kind of help/support to stop drinking. Do you have a doctor/friend/family member you can confide in or get help from? I'm glad you're here - we really do know what it's like to be in that vicious cycle. You don't have to live this way, though....
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Old 06-15-2013, 10:44 AM
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I'm not sure what to do. But I think I do need some kind of help
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Old 06-15-2013, 12:03 PM
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Originally Posted by lostgirll View Post
I'm not sure what to do. But I think I do need some kind of help
Alcoholics Anonymous got me sober and offers a daily direction for growth and recovery.

It might just be what the doctor ordered ....

All the best.

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Old 06-15-2013, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted by lostgirll View Post
I'm not sure what to do. But I think I do need some kind of help
Can you see a counselor? I found that when directly talking to someone it gave me additional strength to abstain. Once you get a few weeks in sobriety you will start to feel better. Having someone to feel accountable to is a great deterrent.
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Old 06-15-2013, 11:05 PM
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Originally Posted by lostgirll View Post
My fiance is in jail right now has been for 4 months with no idea of when he might be getting out. He has multiple drug and robbery charges against him. I know it sounds awful but he really is not a bad person. I am having a very hard time adjusting to being on my own right now. I was with him for 12 years and the plan was to get married have kids and now I just feel like I have no direction in my life. Don't know what to do. I seem to be drinking way too much in order to forget about and it just makes everything so much worse. I've posted on here before and it at least seems to help some. Thank you.

You need to find your own identity girl. Right now, your whole being in wrapped up in this one person, which isnt healthy by any means. You are addicted to the addict, which is a horrible situation to be in. Try and find yourself and get some inner strength, so you can be alone and be okay with it. You dont want to go through life having your entire happiness and well being dependent on another person and their actions or choices.
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Old 08-31-2014, 12:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Nighthawk8820 View Post
You need to find your own identity girl. Right now, your whole being in wrapped up in this one person, which isnt healthy by any means. You are addicted to the addict, which is a horrible situation to be in. Try and find yourself and get some inner strength, so you can be alone and be okay with it. You dont want to go through life having your entire happiness and well being dependent on another person and their actions or choices.
now im all wrapped up in another person who is just awful for me
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Old 08-31-2014, 01:53 AM
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Hi lost girl how bout chat with doctor tell him about all this and possibly talk of rehab/CBT/counselling

Not my call but maybe something to think about

Think your doing great by talking About it and you've been so brave just to tell it how it is

I hope and wish the best for you rooting for you
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