Crossfitdad

Is the extra time and empty space. When I was drinking, I had goal every night - to finish that sixer...

Ghostlight

I hear ya. I was the same way. But, that sixer led to a twelver. Then, who knew what would happen.
I was a morning drinker waiting in the line of misery for the liquor store to open at 8:30.
I'd buy a twelve pack and a couple shooters of whiskey to kick things in. The shooters wouldn't make it home-I'd drink them on the walk back.
Do yourself a favor and stop now. There's so many things you can fill that empty time with. Life. Sober. And believe me, if you're an alcoholic like me, it'll only get worse.

It's hard at first, but life is just waiting for you to live it. Great post. Reminded me of the old days. I need that.

Best to you. And best of luck quiting all together.

nomis

You'd be surprised Crossfit how quickly you will start to fill up all that time and space. When I was drinking I did two things: work and couch surf online. The longer you stay sober the more energy you'll have. Soon that energy will naturally to start to find outlets and you'll be busier than a bee with a zillion things on your to do list. Hang in there!

SummertimeHigh5

Mine was to finish off 20 a night. I am thankful that I no longer do this. I do know how you feel. As I am going through the social awkward part of this entire scenario and have been sober since April 1st 2012 with the exception of one slip up last July. It is strange but it does get better.

I have come to realize that sometimes you just have to push yourself to make things happen. The best way that I can describe this is having to learn how to walk all over again without crutches. I know how crazy that must sound but that is the way that I feel anyhow. I am a lot stronger than I could have ever imagined and I know that if I can do this then ANYONE can..

LNC15

make new goals
don't even think about the sixers or the couch time
wasting time on old habits is destructive
create something constructive, new hobbies and activities
you will feel better about yourself in the morning
just a suggestion and recommendation

Crossfitdad

The fear of going to more is what compelled me to move on with my life. With the very rare exception, I never did more than the sixer and I have drank since I was 20. When I was 26 that's when the every night drinking came in to play. 11 years later and I was drinking the same amount. I don't really care to wonder whether I would progress...the anxiety and hangover everyday from six beers was enough for me. I lost nearly complete control and could stop only for a day or two. I tried moderation, but it was too much work. My dad always said every man has a certain number of beers he could drink in his life...he drank his last one when he was in his late 50's (he was never a heavy drinker, but 3-4 light beers would make him the meanest ******* you ever met...never violent though). I think I've reached mine.

Last night wasn't too bad...no body sweats like the night before, but my pillow was wet. The insomnia and sleeplessness was still there. I haven't had a drop since Tuesday at 9:30 pm....so I'm still worried about the DTs...they say they come on on the 4th or 5th day.

Check in later...I'll keep it!

Starflyer

I never drank during the day. It was the evenings that were completely brutal for me. As soon as the sun started to go down my cravings would kick in, and I would give in for fear of not being able to sleep.

I live alone, and my social life is very small. Therefore, I have plenty of evenings with lots of time to kill by myself. My sober nights have been rough because I don't know how to distract myself. On the nights I would drink, I would be completely happy watching some dumb TV program or movie, as long as I had a drink to sip on. So much like you I have dealt with the same problem.

What I did was to make a list. A list of possible things to do when I feel like drinking. I recommend you do the same. Make it a long list, with every possible activity no matter how small (learning to cook something new, reading a book you've always wanted to read, take a hot bath). Keep the list where it is accessible to you most of the time, like on your phone or an iPod. Whenever you have empty space and feel like drinking, refer to your list and try to do those activities to distract you from staring at the clock.

Keep up the good work, crossfitdad!

LNC15

Nice to hear some positive informative things!! Keep it going!!

Deckard

Crossfit, you've now got something that 99.99% of people want and can't get: more time, more freedom.

LNC15

There you go Deckard!!
I get it, free to do more positive things!!
Nice!!

Rennet

I felt the same way, especially when I quit smoking and drinking at the same time. Even though I was always just sitting around watching TV, suddenly I FELT like I wasn't doing anything. Before I was waiting to crave my next cigarette, or finish the next beer. I guess that did feel like doing something in a way.

I'm still in do-nothing mode, just 10 days in, but I see how eventually turning this into something more productive will be helpful. Until then I'll just be eating a lot more as a replacement

ScoobyWoo

My sponsor got into various long-term activities, such as boat-making and bike-riding. He tells me that even after 20 some years of sobriety, riding his bike is his go-to way to stay in the "here and now." And for a long-term focus, his boat-making is a craft that he can always focus on and improve over his lifetime.

It's never too late to start learning something totally new... an instrument, perhaps... for me, part of my long-term focus is reading a whole stack of history and philosophy books that I have always wanted to get around to. Just a personal goal to satisfy my eager mind. And it is something I can keep working towards (which for me, this long-term focus is key).

It took a while for my mental "fog" to lift, but now that it has, I am finding it highly enjoyable to finally be able to read again; relaxing, rewarding, interesting, and best of all - serene, peaceful, calm. Much preferable to the days of boozing it up. And oddly enough, I always felt bored when I was drinking, even though I tried to escape it. Now that I have seen a little bit of life, there are not enough hours in the day!

Do some soul searching. When we were drinking, all we could do was drink. Now that we are sober, the sky really is the limit in regards to all the great activities we can enjoy. Pretty exciting if you ask me.

LNC15

I enjoyed going to a baseball game yesterday afternoon. Even though my team lost, it was an enjoyable event.

jennikate

I had the same problem at first. I filled my time (and more so that squirrelly feeling) by going to meetings. Now, one year later, I find it hard to fit them in sometimes. I enjoy volunteering (EMT), reading (couldn't read a book in the last year or two), being with my family, walking, hanging with my dog. Just simple stuff. I think, for me, I couldn't stand that restless feeling. More than not having anything to do, I just felt like I should be doing something else. That feeling has disappeared. Just give it time.

Crossfitdad

Yay! Six days and I'm not drinking tonight...or ever

LNC15

I am glad to hear that. Congratulations!

Blackandwhite25

It is the same for me when drinking, what feels likes serve boredom then off to the shop for beer we have 1L 4 packs always on special offer if you buy 2 you get a third half price ... and so on. When I have this monster under control I am able to get lots done, but when it goes wrong it really goes wrong

Tim1

Get a hobby. Do things you've never done before. Live life and make the old drinker that you were jealous of all the things you do now.

This weekend, the old me would have been in a beer garden and would have drunk himself into oblivion as it was hot and sunny. Instead, I walked for miles in the countryside, I took photos, I wrote notes about what it felt like out there. I then walked to a nearby town and sat outside a cafe in the sun and started writing a poem (something i've not done in years). I went to a thai restaurant that "looked nice" and had an amazing meal. I walked back and went into a little cafe where the staff were so friendly. I exercised when I got in.

I had a full day... a very full day. I loved it. I remembered it. It cost me almost nothing and was much better than a beer garden and a hangover.

I'm also learning mandarin, intending getting back into the violin and I'm just finding loads to fill my time. I will NOT sit there thinking I am missing out.. because I'm not. The drinkers are the ones missing out. Not me.

wiscsober

Believe me life will be overflowing...try a local recovery clubhouse for coffee and meet other people...or volunteer at a thrift store...that old hobby? Spend an hour or two at the library....

Right now I'm heavy in to gardening we have a fairly short growing season....I got back in to raising houseplants also.

LNC15

Sounds like a plan. That is great.
Whew, I wish you did not mention the gardening (kidding!). With all the rain recently, I am a bit backed up. No worries, it will get done when it gets done.

Nice Tim, I am into photography myself. I enjoy it very much and do it when I can. A friend of mine is a poet. I created some designs to her poetry as sort of a hobby, which is interesting.

I went to another baseball game yesterday, which was wonderful!! The weather was beautiful. Even though my team lost, I still had a good time.