caboblanco

Well the wedding in finally here. I will see people I haven't seen in a long time which makes me a little nervous. I used to remedy this with a few drinks. My dad side of the family loves to drink at these things so I'm sure people will be offering me booze all night. Nobody knows of my problem or my sobriety. There will be an open bar at the wedding and an after party at a local club. i am expected to show at the after party since it's my sister getting married. This is the part i'm a little worried about. The party will probably go well into the early morning hours as people have hotel rooms there. i really dislike being around drunk people for hours on end when im stone cold sober. I made a decision just to leave if it gets to be too much. i hope my sister and relatives understand or don't care if that happens. Has anyone had to to a wedding or a party with alcohol lately?

JenEss

Do you have support of any kind?

I've had to do a lot of things in sobriety like that, but I have a lot of support.

Justfor1

I attended a wedding & was not tempted to drink. The simple fact was that I believe the wedding reception bartenders are not allowed to serve extremely intoxicated people. With "open bar" & free drinks I know I would have become extremely & dangerously drunk within the first hour.

doggonecarl

Not lately, but I went fairly early in my recovery to my step son's wedding.

I can say this in almost certainty, your sister has got way more going on than focusing in on your attendance at the party after the wedding. How many people will be there? 50? 100?

You are one person out of many. Go to the wedding. Make an appearance at the party, then beg out. Again, this day does not revolve around your being there, as much as it might feel like it is.

Mountainmanbob

tomsteve

yup. heres what I did:
have the right motive for being there
be in fit spiritual condition
have an escape route

DaveAnomie

I have to go to my sister's wedding next month and the reception is at a winery, of all places! Keep us posted on your success, and good luck!

Nuudawn

I think for me, one of the hardest things to do and learn, is that I have to do what's right for me and my sobriety. If the after party is going to drive you to drink, you just don't go. Going when you don't want to is a recipe for resentment and an excuse to drink. You wanna wake up the next morning hungover ticked off with your sister cuz she "made" you drink? No..you don't. You are responsible for yourself. You are not responsible for her happiness or comfort..only yours. She's getting married..she'll be busy. I would never ever want someone to jeopardize themselves (their sobriety) just to not..upset me...momentarily.

caboblanco

just got back from the wedding/party. didn't drink. everything went great. drove people around after wedding

Nuudawn

That's awesome caboblanco!!! You must feel really good..and so you should. Way to flex your sober muscle...applause, applause

Jsober

Nice! Well done! I was in a wedding about two years ago and was super nervous about my sobriety. Weddings are notorious for major boozing. I made it through two rehearsal dinners and the wedding sober. I even had a great time.
A year ago I attended my wedding and festivities sober, something I thought would never happen. It was great. Everytime I stay sober through something like this, I look back and have no regrets, I am just so happy I stayed sober.

DarkDays

Mindset change, pity the drinkers who HAVE to drink. Feel cool and liberated that your not part of the masses all following each other poisoning themselves . Ba ba ba .

Well done for not drinking , the fear and build up to these events is the worst thing. Once there it's ok ,we'll for me anyway. Studying and looking and people talking drunk is a real good sober battery charge.

Coolmel

A few weekends ago I was at a party and not drinking...after an hour or so I just left without saying goodbye to anyone...the next day my buddy called me the party ninja. I know its your sister and all...so this would be difficult. It just made me think of myself...where before I was part of the life of a party I am now the party ninja. I kinda like that.

applecake

Cabo, that's fantastic news! And just think...your feet are sandal ready!

artsoul

Good job, caboblanco! When it comes to social situations, I think we have a tendency to imagine the worst. When you actually get there and go with the flow, it's not all that bad.

It gets better as you go, too. My son just got married last month and when we walked into the reception, there were tall flutes of champagne at every place setting. I had no desire for the champagne (it's a poisonous for me as anti-freeze)..... I just liked the glasses! I should have gotten one for my soft drink.....

Deckard

Dark Days, thanks for the sheep image. That's awesome. That's going to help me sometime I'm in a situation when people are "herding" around some bar...

Cabo, strong work.